Respect Me And Yourself.

The truth is people don’t need to be told what’s right or how to treat you. They know what they should be doing. They know what they should be saying. They know what you deserve.

What it comes down to is a choice they make. And most the time people make the wrong choice out of fear. They are afraid not so much of doing the right thing, but doing the right thing and watching things go wrong. They are afraid of investing time and energy and commitment into someone only to see it end. They are afraid of getting hurt the way they did last time. They are afraid of taking the next serious step because of what the person might expect afterwards. The root of all of these things come down to fear.

He knows you deserve a real date that’s called a date. He knows you deserve flowers. He knows you deserve plans he sticks to. And texts that get answered fast. But sometimes people choose to settle by not bringing their best cards to the table. Holding back on emotions and gestures. To that I say stop being a coward. Stop making excuses. Stop looking for every reason to half ass something when this person deserves so much more, as well as yourself. If relationships were like a game of cards, why on earth would you not play your best ones? And if someone is holding back or not giving you what you deserve or want, you mustn’t allow it to continue. Because what you allow is what will keep happening. But the minute you set these standards and expectations and hold true to them, respecting yourself to not tolerated any less, that person will either rise to the occasion or they will go away.

The root of any good relationship, begins with the one you have with yourself. Have enough self respect to walk away. Have enough confidence to know what you offer someone. Go into every relationship with standards already in place. It’s like your own personal rule book you get to write of what someone has to follow. And if they don’t follow them, then they don’t get to be with you. It’s that simple. Remember standard expectations, plans of the future only scare away people who are temporary. And it isn’t your place to make a permanent home in your heart for someone who doesn’t plan on staying.

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We Need…

It’s important to be the type of person who loves too hard.

It’s important to be the type of person who hurts too easy and not be ashamed of it.

It’s important to be the type of person who is a little too soft for the hardness that is the reality of the world. We need those people. We need the people who feel things a little too deeply. We need people who jump into love knowing very well the risk that comes with it. We need the people who say I love you a little too often. The ones who are drunk honest but do it sober. We need the people who cry a little too much, and when they break, it isn’t with grace, but rather violently at rock bottom. We need people who open their hearts to others even if it’s broken. Because being broken doesn’t mean you have to put yourself back together alone. Because the only real way to heal is to love the people in your life with everything you have in you.

When we get hurt we think we have to shut out love, but that is when we need it most. And when you get hurt, healing won’t come in the form of one relationship, but rather every relationship you’ve built up to this point. We need people who know that vulnerability isn’t weakness, but essential and asking for help doesn’t mean you’re wrong for doing so. We need people who don’t let heartbreak dictate how deeply they believe in their next love story. We need people who feel things a little too much. We need people who hurt when something ends. We need people who stare at the door someone walks out and it pains them to see them go. We need people who don’t know how to ends things and hate the word goodbye.

It’s important to be the type of person who believes love is everything it’s cracked up to be. Because it is. And even when something ends, you’ll find yourself looking back and seeing how worth it that it really was. There is no promise things will work out, but in the midst of heartbreak and things that don’t go right, it is important to be the type of person who sees beauty even when your eyes are welled up with tears and blurry.

Sometimes I Wish…

Sometimes I wish my heart and head weren’t such polar opposites like forces fighting against one another. Logic and practicality vs. intense emotions. What I want vs. what I know is probably best.

Sometimes I wish my heart and my head could come together as oppose to acting out against me.

Sometimes I wish I could just shut one-off as I make decisions without that inner voice countering everything. Like some debate I didn’t ask to sit through.

Sometimes I wish my heart would just feel less or only feel anything at all for things and people only after my head has evaluated if they are worthy of emotions. Sometimes I envy people who can shut off emotions so easily. Forget so fast. Move forward with stumbling over the past, and looking over their shoulder. I wear long sleeves even though I don’t like them in a desperate attempt to hide my heart on my sleeve. But even then, every emotion is painted across my face and I can’t pretend to not feel things. My head says “don’t care so much, don’t try so hard, don’t feel things so deeply.” Then my heart whispers faintly “just maybe if you tried one more time you’ll get it right.”

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Torn And Confused.

I’m always caught somewhere between when to give up and when to try harder. Caught somewhere between my heart and head like it’s a tug of war match. If I follow my heart I could get hurt more. And if I follow my head I might be protecting myself, but I’ve never wanted to grow that cold.

I’m always caught somewhere between wearing my heart on my sleeve and wearing long sleeve shirts to hide it. Hide the fact I wear every emotion so visibly that everyone can see it painted across my face like a painting to be hung in a museum for everyone to analyze and stare at.

I’m always caught somewhere between loving someone with everything I have and knowing I shouldnt give so much so soon. I’m always caught somewhere between effort that comes naturally, and draining myself doing too much for people who never asked me to.

I’m always caught somewhere between a big heart and always watching it get broken. Like it’s me whose done something wrong, but when the only thing I’ve done is love people exactly the way I’d want to, then is it wrong what I’m doing or is it the person who is?

I’m always caught somewhere between the wrong people and blaming myself for not being right. Analyzing myself to the core of who I am. I’m always caught somewhere between being who I am and thinking something is wrong with it. Caught somewhere between caring entirely too much. And wishing I didn’t care at all and I could turn it off like it was a switch.

I’m always caught somewhere between laughing really hard and being happy in that moment, and tears that no one knows I cry alone. I’m always caught somewhere between wanting to be strong, but growing so tired of having to be.

I’m caught somewhere between patience of getting what I deserve and appreciating what I have when I have it.

I’m always caught between I love you and goodbye because those words seem to be a little closer together than I’d like them to be. I’m always caught between staring at the door when someone leaves saying “I’ll miss you,” when I very well should be saying, “you’ve made a mistake not me.” I’m always caught between being proud I haven’t changed who I am, but hurting so much because I feel everything so deeply.

I’m always caught between thinking too much about people who care too little knowing very well no matter how late it is I’ll always answer calls I probably shouldn’t in the first place.

I’m always caught somewhere between always trying to do the right thing, and watching so many people wrong me.

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November-December 2018.

May the last two months of 2018, fill you with the type of bravery that forces you to go after that thing you want. Forces you to try that thing you’re afraid to out of fear of failure.

May the last two months of 2018, teach you to live in the present instead of honing on the past or dwelling over mistakes you can’t change or circumstances outside your control.

May the last two months of 2018, teach you to not settle. And I don’t care how long you have to wait for what it is you deserve. May you find the patience you need.

May the last two months of 2018, be filled with the self-love, changing the dialogue in your head when it’s critical or you’re being unkind to yourself.

May the last two months of 2018,  be a time where you don’t feel guilty about being selfish or putting yourself first.

May the last two months of 2018, fill you with the happiness you’ve been holding off from achieving for whatever reason.

May the last two months of 2018, be filled with relationships that push you, people who challenge you, a circle that brings out the best in you. And if you find there are people not doing that for you, may you find the courage to let them go.

May the last two months of 2018, be about you and your goals, and may you find the courage to achieve them instead of burying yourself with excuses of why you can’t yet or holding it off. May you wake up every day looking forward to the day ahead. Bc you deserve to live your best life. May love find you when it’s ready. When the pain from exes no longer consumes you. When your pillow isn’t a tissue to catch your tears. When you don’t keep looking at your phone waiting for one person. Bc the person worthy of your love will never look like someone leaving.

May the last two months of 2018, be filled with the choices you want to make without feeling pressure to lead a certain life or do a certain thing.

May the last two months of 2018, be all about you and what you want the year to finish looking like. And I don’t care if you spent the first 9 months not on track or doing what you planned. Start now. Start here. We have two months left of 2018. And there is still time to make this your best year yet.

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Game Over.

When you quit a heart that loves you, what you’re really quitting is a chance to fall in love yourself. Because it doesn’t matter if you weren’t there yet, eventually you would have caught up. If you gave it a chance.

We want to believe love is everything in movies and books of knowing immediately they are the one. But the truth is, love and relationships take work and time and effort to get there.

When you quit a heart that loves you, what you’re really quitting is a chance to understand everyone has flaws and shortcomings, and things they haven’t still gotten past. But you’re choosing to look at everything wrong. The truth is, when you give someone a chance and you fall in love you don’t even see flaws anymore. When you give up on that, what you’re really giving up is a chance for someone to accept all that in you. A chance for someone to teach you how to dance with your own demons, live gracefully with your mistakes, and move forward.

When you quit a heart that loves you, what you’re really quitting is a chance at true happiness. Because love is happiness, and giving up on someone like that is not only robbing them of happiness they deserve just having you there, but you’re ruining it for yourself.

People. Relationships. Compatibility. Dating. It’s not always easy. So when you quit someone who loves you unconditionally, what you’ll realize is how hard it is to get to that point again with someone. Because love doesn’t just happen.

When you quit a heart that loves you, you give up on someone who would have never given up on you. Someone who would have never stopped trying. Someone who proved time and time again they would have done anything to make you happy.

When you quit someone who loves you, you are quitting someone whose loyalty no one could shake. Someone who looked at you like you were their best thing.

When you quit someone who loves you, the aftermath of it all is that same person who opened up to you and let you in close enough to admit they loved you.

Now is going to doubt love and every relationship after you.

Now is going to think everyone is lying when they say I love you.

Now is going to fear saying it themselves thinking the next person might leave immediately too.

When you quit someone who loves you, you won’t regret it at first. You won’t miss them for a while. You wonder about them late at night or contemplate calling as they are, doing everything to piece themselves back together. Yearning for a time when waking up didn’t hurt because it was next to you.

When you quit someone who loves you, you realize after it’s too late what you lost. An unconditional love and someone who was willing to do anything for you.

Someone whose happiness was based on yours.

Someone whose greatest success wasn’t accomplishments, but rather standing beside you.

Someone whose support would have pushed you to achieve more than you could have imagined had you stuck it out.

Because love has a way of motivating people and bringing out the best in them. Love like that doesn’t come knocking often.

What you’ll find in time is how difficult it really is to get someone to love you, to get someone to commit to you, to find someone who is so sure of you. Because like you, so many people today are unsure of themselves.

Unsure of what they want.

Unsure of what to ask someone.

Unsure of what a good thing even looks like when it appears. So they let it go before giving it a chance it deserves.

No one is perfect. Relationships aren’t easy. But if you find someone who loves you unconditionally and is willing to hold your hand while you figure out everything, you need to internally, hold those people close.

Hold those people close who are willing to fight for you.

Hold those people close who care more about you than themselves.

Hold those people close whose greatest fear is losing you.

When you quit someone who loves you unconditionally, what you’re really giving up on is the person who would have spent the rest of their life trying to build something wonderful with you. And that’s what a good relationship is, it’s so much more than just someone you sleep next to and with or bring to family events. The best relationships and the ones we should all strive for is a love that looks like your best friend, a life that looks like teamwork, and a person you look at every single day, and not only do you think they are the most attractive person you’ve ever me, but you look at yourself and think you’re the luckiest person in the entire world to be standing beside them.

But the only way to get that sort of thing is to not quit someone who loves you.

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Lets Raise Little Girls…

Lets raise little girls who can believe in fairy tales, but more than that, believe in themselves.

Let’s raise little girls who believe in Prince Charming, but don’t rely on him to save her.

Let’s raise little girls who believe in happy endings that include her achieving all her hopes and dreams.

Let’s raise little girls who don’t need magic mirrors for validation, but instead look at themselves saying “I am enough!!”

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