You know, when I was younger I had so many New Year’s resolutions. All the way from losing a couple of pounds to making myself look more beautiful.
Then, somewhere down the road I realized life is not about the things that I can affect. Life is all about the things I can’t affect. So, this year I only want things that money can’t buy.
First of all, I want to feel peace within. I want to feel good in my own skin. I want to be a woman who can accept a compliment and not blush because I deserve it. I want to walk proudly down the street knowing that I didn’t do harm to anybody. I want to feel that I am worthy.
I want to feel that I am enough. And no matter how much time has to pass for that to happen, I will be patient because that is important to me.
Secondly, I want to feel love so deep an ocean would be jealous of it. I want to be loved and respected because I deserve that.
Every time I love, I give myself all in. This time, I want others to show me how much they love me and appreciate me because I am not going to sell myself short anymore.
This year I will put myself first.
Thirdly, I want to feel happiness in my heart. For some reason, there isn’t much happiness in my life.
I was thinking that maybe I didn’t have enough time for my private life and that’s why I didn’t feel that happiness. But when I think twice about it, I don’t think that was the problem.
The problem is much deeper inside of me. The problem might be all those calls I never got while I deserved them. The problem might be all those messages nobody sent me while I never forget them.
The problem might be all those kisses and hugs I never got. And finally, the problem might be all those warm words that I never had a chance to hear. But I want to leave all that in the past because it belongs there.
I want to get rid of all those people who pretended to be my friends and who betrayed me in the first bumps in the road. This year, I want to dedicate more to myself and find that happiness in my heart and my soul that is fighting so hard to come out.
So, this year, my only resolution will be things that I am hungry for. I am hungry for love, peace, hope, care, happiness, harmony and all those positive feelings I craved so much.
No matter what happens, I will try to give my heart and my soul everything that they need. Because just like our body needs food to be healthy, our soul and our heart needs spiritual food to be alive.
And believe it or not, I want peace within more than love. You probably wonder why, right? Well, in order to be good to someone else, I first need to be good to myself.
And I won’t be able to do that if I don’t have peace inside of me.
Once I decide to give myself all in to someone new, I want to be okay with myself. I want to be a woman who accepts all my pros and cons.
I want to know that I am not perfect, but that I am trying to be. I want to know that I did everything in my power to be satisfied in my own skin.
And most of all, I want to be a woman with self-worth. I want to tell myself every day that I should be happy because I am doing something good for myself.
I want to tell myself that I am doing much better than I think and that no matter how much some people want to see me down, I will never be there. Because I am a fighter and heaven helps those who fight.
And in the end, when I get that peace within that I crave so much, I won’t selfishly keep it only for myself.
I want to share it with my family and friends. I want to help all people to feel this blessing that I will feel and I want us to enjoy it forever.
So, 2020, here I come—more beautiful, more stubborn, more goal-oriented and much smarter. I hope you are ready for me because I am sure as hell ready for you!