Behind all the walls, behind the mask of a happy girl stands a woman. A woman broken by the world, we would say. Someone broken by an abuser, left by her friends and her lover whom she thought would be her saviors.
You might remember her as the little girl with the loud laugh and happy attitude, the girl who is now hiding inside of you. Behind everything you’ve become today. The person who broke you for whatever reason doesn’t matter anymore. The only thing mattering now, is yourself.
To be a beautifully broken girl means to see our brokenness not as a punishment but as someone’s misuse of our own empathy and kindness. It was never our fault! We were just too good for that person or for this world in general. It’s the only thing that can happen when you’re giving yourself away when you’re being vulnerable. It’s what makes us strong.
It’s the time he told you that you’re worthless that gave you the most worth. You might be confused now, but wasn’t it the moment you realized you were worth more than he could ever afford? It did hurt, I know dear that it did, but let me tell you that all those times he told you how ugly you look while wearing your favorite dress, the time he looked at another girl telling you how much prettier she was, were actually moments in which your brokenness was leading up to the being you are today. And you are wonderful!
It’s amazing to see what a smile can hide. To never show how hurt you are and to still live the life you want. That’s true courage. Don’t you think that that’s the main thing that makes you so beautiful? The way you tell your friends to be positive about life and to live and love like everything is OK—although you’re not OK.
Being a broken girl in this world means to learn to trust people again one day. To love again and to let someone love us is the hardest part about all of it, but we’re trying! We’re taking our time of course, because time is needed to heal all our wounds. But no matter how slow we’re going, we will still overcome all the obstacles and traps life has for us and we will rise above it all.
I know that your heart and soul are suffering, but by choosing to be kind and caring, you are better than anything that has ever come your way. No matter how many times he broke you, you stood up!
Your experience is what made you into an awesome lover, girlfriend, wife. Because you know how hard it is to not be loved, to be lied to, to be abandoned by the people you loved the most is why you will never behave like that to someone precious to you. You will love again and again with no intention to hurt anyone, because you know, too well, how terrifying it is.
One day, someone will help you on your journey to healing completely, someone who will show you how you should be loved and cared for, someone who won’t abandon you when you need them the most. That’s when all of it will pay off! All the times you chose kindness over bitterness paid off! Because you will be standing in front of a man, who came like an angel, to be there for you and to let you know that there are good people in this world. Just like you.