Open Topic

A Letter To The Girl Who Takes Care Of Everyone Else, But Herself.

My Dear,

I know that you are giving your best to satisfy all those people around you. But in all that mess, you are forgetting to take care of yourself. So just stop for a second and breathe. Your life mission is not to save the world, so don’t do it, okay? Take some time for yourself only and enjoy the things that you didn’t have time to do for a while. Listen to your favorite song or go to the movies with your friends. But don’t let other people’s problems affect you so badly.

You don’t need to save all of them.

If they want to, they can change their own lives. So, just leave them to handle their problems alone. Because you can’t carry all their problems on your shoulders. If you continue doing that, you will burn out. And then you won’t be good to yourself or to your friends.

Maybe you are doing all that to get away from your own problems.

Because it is much easier to give advice than to get it and to follow it in your own life. Maybe you are so focused on others that you forget your own problems and think that somehow, as if by magic, they will fade away. Maybe that is just your way of dealing with all that stress accumulated inside of you.

No matter how much you want to save the world, you can’t do it.

You are not a hero who will save all those who suffer or take their pain away. Your heart is too small to store all those feelings. You will end up in tears, completely broken because you didn’t think about yourself in time. Please, remember that some things can’t be fixed. The same is with people. Some of them don’t want to be fixed, and some of them are simply not ready to do that yet. So let it go. It is okay to let it go and leave others to decide about their lives.

You set your expectations high, thinking that if you are goodie, others will feel the same way.

But in most cases that is not true. People are self-centered and selfish, and most of them wouldn’t help you if they saw you suffering.

I know that you want to help everyone, but there are times when you need to say, ‘No.’

You need to make yourself a priority and not an option. Because if you don’t do it, nobody else will. If you continue doing all this, you will lose yourself in the chaos. And once you lose yourself, it is difficult to be the old you again. So, be smart. Help people, but don’t forget to help yourself in the first place. And every time you feel like not getting out of your home, stay there. You need yourself and others can wait.

What you have been doing is amazing and I just wish there were more people like you in this cruel place.

I wish that all those you helped so many times, would take your hand and go through life with you when you are experiencing a bad phase of your life. I wish that others would be so careful and caring like you are.

You are worthy. You are amazing. And above all, your heart is made out of gold. I hope you will find a person who will be with you in better or worse, treating you like a queen, because that’s what you are – a queen.

I hope someone will see that brightness and honesty in your eyes and provide you with the same.

And I hope he will be worth the wait. So, continue doing what you are the best at – spreading the love and affection – but don’t forget to keep some of that for yourself.

The world is lucky to have a person like you!

With love,
One who has been there

Open Topic

Abuse is Not Love.

I have no idea what they told you while you were growing up, but let’s get one thing straight from the beginning—abuse is not love.

Just think about it, how many women would be spared of torture if only we stopped romanticizing abuse?

No, love shouldn’t be hard. It does require a lot of effort, but it should never require for you to bend over backward to receive it.

No, love shouldn’t hurt.

Longing for someone, missing them when they’re away, aching for their embrace and touch are all normal things, but this is all considered as sweet suffering.

True love never questions your worth, never makes you wonder if you’re good enough or makes you feel like your heart is being shattered into a million pieces day after day.

See, we all need to stick one thing in our head—real men don’t make love feel hard, they make it feel like it’s the easiest thing there is.

Real men don’t hurt their women, they protect them. Everything else is just a lie we tell ourselves in fear of letting go of our toxic partner.

The truth is, a real man would never do anything to deliberately hurt the woman he loves.

He’d never do anything to make his woman feel insecure or threatened or do anything that could break her heart.

There is a list of things real men do and abusing women is never one of them.

Men who abuse women are nothing but cowards hiding behind their manhood. But they’re not real men.

They’re just the mere shape of men, but there is nothing but rotten souls on the inside.

If you told a kid to draw someone who abuses women either physically or emotionally, do you know what they’d draw? A monster, and that’s exactly what they are.

The thing is, a real man respects himself enough to never tell lies, to never play games, to never break someone who gave him their heart. As simple as that.

Real men cherish their women. They know that whatever you give to a woman, she returns it double. If you give her your heart, she’s gonna give you all of her love.

If you give her a house, she’s gonna give you a home. If you give her your love, she’s gonna make you feel like the only man in this world. What more could you possibly ask for?

Real men protect their women. But they don’t just pretend to do it in public and then abuse them when they’re home and nobody is watching.

They protect their women even from themselves. They make them feel safe and they never allow anything bad to get to them.

The catch is, that real men are aware of women’s strength, they don’t consider them the weaker sex at all, but they’re there for them in the moments when life knocks them down.

Real men hate to see shattered women on their knees, begging for love or for mercy.

That just makes their stomachs turn. That’s just something a sadist is turned by on.

What hypes a real man up is seeing his woman with her head held high, happy and confident in her own skin. There is no bigger turn-on for true men than this.

A happy woman is the biggest strength of a real man. Only cowards enjoy abusing and bringing down women who chose to give them their hearts.

Sometimes, because of the circumstances we might find ourselves in, or because of the pressure of society, we settle. And settling is one of the greatest friends of abuse.

You just start going with the flow. You start ignoring your wishes and desires. You forget your worth and you think you deserve all the pain you get.

But that’s so wrong. So, please don’t ever settle. Instead, love yourself to the point where solitude will be a better option than allowing someone to treat you with disrespect.

Self-love is the key to dodging the bullet called abuse. When you think about it, it does make sense.

Because if you love yourself, you know what you deserve.

You are aware of your worth and you know how you deserve to be treated.

When you love yourself, you open doors for others to love you too.

So, whoever you are, whatever you stand for in this world, regardless of what you’ve been through in your life or the amount of love you feel for a man, always know that real men protect their women, they don’t abuse them. So, please, don’t ever settle for an abuser.

Know that the man who’s worthy of you will make his love feel like home.

A real man will be there for you when times get ugly, he’ll be your shoulder to lean on when things get tough and he’ll do everything to protect you and to make you feel safe.

Open Topic

Never Break a Woman Who’s Already Broken.

You know that someday he’s going to wake up overwhelmed by sadness and betrayal and ask himself: Is this how she felt?

Yes. Even worse, it’s how you felt so many times in life that you almost lost all your hope. You forgot what safe felt like.

You asked yourself: What did I do to deserve this? Why can’t I just have a normal, loving relationship, full of trust?

It’s the only thing you ever wanted. It should be so simple.

After some time, you realized it wasn’t about you or what you wanted.

It was always about him and you didn’t even mind it until he violated your boundaries and transformed your whole world into such a lonely place.

You worked so hard to make yourself vulnerable again because you knew that was the only way a relationship could work.

You were facing your fears one by one, you wanted this to be pure. A new beginning.

You tried to understand. You didn’t think it would be easy to deal with all your fears and insecurities.

Looking back at it now, you realize you were just trying to justify his selfish behaviors.

It’s crazy how love can blind you. You didn’t have anyone to reach out to—because he was all you knew.

You poured yourself into him. The person you adored became your worst nightmare.

Everything you shared became just aching memories and more pain. You felt so alone.

Is there anything worse than sharing all your fears and hopes with someone just to see them use them against you, use them to hurt you more?

How is that possible? He said he cared so many times.

He said no one came close to you. He said no one could hurt you.

There’s nothing scarier than thinking those words were straight-up lies and he was the one who hurt you the most.

The worst thing is, you stopped trusting yourself and this is because you couldn’t believe you fell for the same thing again.

It made you feel so insecure. You lost all of your confidence.

A voice in your head kept saying it was all your fault and it wouldn’t go away.

Every day, you would wake up in fear, with a weight on your chest and disbelief that this was now your reality.

You just wanted to go back to sleep because that was the only time the pain would go away.

You prayed to be yourself again one day. It took so much time just to make yourself do normal things.

You wanted to enjoy the small things again, so you started with everything that didn’t remind you of him.

I want you to know that there’s life after this.

I know this made you guarded but you must know there are people who understand you and who are going through the same.

Little by little, you will start listening to what you want, what makes you feel comfortable and safe.

You will decide that you want to know yourself better.

You will start knowing yourself outside of your pain.

Firstly, you can start by accepting your pain and forgiving yourself for not knowing better.

Secondly, you can take all of your life goals seriously and start making progress in becoming yourself again.

Let yourself fall in love with all you can do and all you can be.

Make a decision to see everything you went through as motivation and a learning curve.

Learn to accept that everything in life happens for a reason, one you don’t know in advance.

This realization will make you at peace with yourself. There’s no other way than to let go and try again.

Your strength is in your life story. Your sense of power comes from always believing, trying and moving on, despite the pain people have caused you.

Once you realize that no person can take your power if you don’t let them, you’re invincible. Stand in your power.

This life is yours and yours only and it’s you who gets to decide what you’re going to do with it.

It’s never too late. It’s just one decision away.

Do it all not to prove yourself to anyone, but yourself because you’re the one who deserves it all.