Open Topic

Follow Your Heart.

Throughout my life I’ve often heard people say ‘Follow your heart.’ I have to admit, looking back I never really knew what this meant. I was taught to use my head; to think about things rationally and logically. I was taught to use perspective and weigh things out before making decisions. I was also conditioned to follow the crowd and do what other people do. I see now that my guidance system was out of alignment with my true self and my passion, purpose, and calling. I see now what following your heart really means and why this is so important.

Your true guidance system is your heart as we say. If you truly want to follow your passion, purpose, and calling and connect with the happiness and success you will always be searching for elsewhere; then follow your heart. Following your heart means following what FEELS good, and what FEELS right. Throw logic out the window. Just kidding, no but seriously, logistical and realistic thinking is based on your subjective perspective and cannot see the bigger picture. Your heart seems to be connected to universal intelligence and therefore can guide you more accurately; and then your thoughts can help get you there.

When you are in alignment with your true self life happens naturally and with ease. There are minimal struggles, everything feels right, everything works out great, and new opportunities present themselves constantly. When you are out of alignment you will find yourself forcing things, struggling with conflicts and frustrations left and right, and nothing you want to happen is happening very easily. When you ignore your heart you will only get side-tracked longer making your journey more of a struggle until you listen. To stay in alignment simply follow your heart.

To follow your heart you feel your way through life. You can literally ask yourself, “What does my heart say?” Or you can pay attention to what feels right. If you become resistant to things, or irritated and frustrated easily, your heart is telling you no, don’t go that way. If you are happy, or laughing, full of positive emotion, your body is relaxed and excited, and everything feels right- your heart is saying yes this way. It is easy to confuse your unwavering determination to be, do, or have something, when the right choice sits in opposition. You are told to be strong and persevere through anything in pursuit of your goals. This can make it difficult to distinguish between an obstacle in the road and a sign telling you to turn around. This is why it is even more important to listen to your heart, so you can tell the difference between a normal obstacle and a sign saying no don’t bother.

Summary: If you ever question the path you’re on or a decision you are making, ask your heart. It gives an immediate answer and you instantly know it is right. You just have to remember to ask and then listen to your inner guidance system, your heart. Your heart knows the way; your mind will get you there.

Open Topic

I Want To Feel Peace Within.

You know, when I was younger I had so many New Year’s resolutions. All the way from losing a couple of pounds to making myself look more beautiful.

Then, somewhere down the road I realized life is not about the things that I can affect. Life is all about the things I can’t affect. So, this year I only want things that money can’t buy.

First of all, I want to feel peace within. I want to feel good in my own skin. I want to be a woman who can accept a compliment and not blush because I deserve it. I want to walk proudly down the street knowing that I didn’t do harm to anybody. I want to feel that I am worthy.

I want to feel that I am enough. And no matter how much time has to pass for that to happen, I will be patient because that is important to me.

Secondly, I want to feel love so deep an ocean would be jealous of it. I want to be loved and respected because I deserve that.

Every time I love, I give myself all in. This time, I want others to show me how much they love me and appreciate me because I am not going to sell myself short anymore.

This year I will put myself first.

Thirdly, I want to feel happiness in my heart. For some reason, there isn’t much happiness in my life.

I was thinking that maybe I didn’t have enough time for my private life and that’s why I didn’t feel that happiness. But when I think twice about it, I don’t think that was the problem.

The problem is much deeper inside of me. The problem might be all those calls I never got while I deserved them. The problem might be all those messages nobody sent me while I never forget them.

The problem might be all those kisses and hugs I never got. And finally, the problem might be all those warm words that I never had a chance to hear. But I want to leave all that in the past because it belongs there.

I want to get rid of all those people who pretended to be my friends and who betrayed me in the first bumps in the road. This year, I want to dedicate more to myself and find that happiness in my heart and my soul that is fighting so hard to come out.

So, this year, my only resolution will be things that I am hungry for. I am hungry for love, peace, hope, care, happiness, harmony and all those positive feelings I craved so much.

No matter what happens, I will try to give my heart and my soul everything that they need. Because just like our body needs food to be healthy, our soul and our heart needs spiritual food to be alive.

And believe it or not, I want peace within more than love. You probably wonder why, right? Well, in order to be good to someone else, I first need to be good to myself.

And I won’t be able to do that if I don’t have peace inside of me.

Once I decide to give myself all in to someone new, I want to be okay with myself. I want to be a woman who accepts all my pros and cons.

I want to know that I am not perfect, but that I am trying to be. I want to know that I did everything in my power to be satisfied in my own skin.

And most of all, I want to be a woman with self-worth. I want to tell myself every day that I should be happy because I am doing something good for myself.

I want to tell myself that I am doing much better than I think and that no matter how much some people want to see me down, I will never be there. Because I am a fighter and heaven helps those who fight.

And in the end, when I get that peace within that I crave so much, I won’t selfishly keep it only for myself.

I want to share it with my family and friends. I want to help all people to feel this blessing that I will feel and I want us to enjoy it forever.

So, 2020, here I come—more beautiful, more stubborn, more goal-oriented and much smarter. I hope you are ready for me because I am sure as hell ready for you!

Open Topic

Just Because You Love Them, Don’t Allow Someone To Treat You Poorly.

Everyone’s common sense tells them they shouldn’t tolerate people hurting them.

If your friend was in a bad relationship where a guy treated her poorly, you’d be the first to tell her to call it quits.

No matter how much she loved the guy, you’d know that her place is not next to him.

Why is it so hard then to notice that the person you love is treating you badly, and why is it even harder to stop allowing that from happening?

Love can make us blind, that’s true. Loving someone can make us idealize everything good they do. And then when they do something wrong, we end up making excuses for them.

You weren’t born into this world to waste your energy, good heart, and love on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

Start loving yourself and caring for your own well-being, and things will begin to unfold for you.

Let’s take off the blindfold love has put over our eyes and try to see things clearly for once.

If they don’t answer when you call them and never even apologize, that’s not right.

If you wait for hours before they answer a simple message, that’s not right.

If they’re never there for you, no matter the reason you need them, that’s not right.

If they can’t find the time or energy to participate in your life, that’s not right.

If the person you’re with can’t seem to respect, support, and love you the way they’re supposed to – that sure isn’t right.

We don’t want to think badly of the person we’ve given so much to. We want them good, pure, and perfect in our minds.

That’s why we never let ourselves confess they are actually treating us quite poorly.

Realizing and confessing that someone is hurting you with their behavior is step one in solving this huge issue.

No matter how much you love someone, you can’t let them break you apart.

Love can’t be one-sided. If you love them, they should love you back, right? If they loved you, would they hurt you? Absolutely not.

The person who truly loves you will always have your best interests at heart. The one who cares will never intentionally hurt you.

If someone keeps treating you the way you would never treat them and you keep forgiving them, now is the time to break that vicious cycle.

No one gets to hurt you, no matter how much they mean to you.

Would you ever do bad things to someone you love? Sure you wouldn’t. Then, why do you let someone do that to you?

I know you find many reasons to explain them hurting you in a way that makes it seem less important and like it’s not even their fault.

Not only are those malicious actions important, but they are also crucial to your self-esteem and for your future happiness.

They take your trust and sincerity and they toss it all away, making it seem like you’re the less important person in the relationship.

I wonder how they would feel if you did the same thing to them?! Would they forgive you? I’m pretty sure not.

I’m quite sure they’re constantly apologizing to you, asking your forgiveness. Well, let me tell you something: An apology that doesn’t come with changed behavior is just lip service.

I’m also guessing that if by any chance you choose to actually stand your ground and show them you’re no longer putting up with their shit, they will make you feel bad for being angry at them.

This is the kind of toxic person you don’t want in your life. They might have you believing they will change, but they won’t!

You might be thinking about giving them a second chance, but I can tell you right now, that any chance you give them, will be wasted.

Someone who claims that they love you, yet, still decides to treat you poorly isn’t worth a second chance.

Yes, forgiveness is a beautiful path to choose, and sure you can choose to forgive them for every way they’ve harmed you.

I’ve said forgive, not forget.

Don’t let them treat you like you are unworthy of love, and don’t let them ever harm you again.

Open Topic

A Woman Who Silently Fights With Illness Everyday.

Before I say anything, I want to apologize for all those times I hurt your feelings because I didn’t know better.

If I assumed you were healthy just because your illness is not visible – I’m sorry.

If I told you that you looked tired when you were suffering from chronic fatigue – I’m sorry.

If I reminded you of something you had to say goodbye to because of your illness – I’m sorry.

If I acted recklessly regarding something your illness has taught you is valuable – I’m sorry.

If I said something to bring you down instead of lifting you up – I’m sorry.

If I thought of the worst when I didn’t know better – I’m sorry.

It took me some time to realize what it means to confront the fact that your body’s working against you; what it means when your body simply refuses to listen to you and you can do nothing about it.

I still can’t comprehend it fully, but I’ve learned so much by listening to what you say instead of making assumptions and listening to those who don’t know what you’re going through.

Even though I can’t know everything you’re going through, I understand that the moment you realized you were ill, your life changed forever.

Your illness gave you new eyes and now through you, I too have started to see life differently.

Through you, I’ve realized there are so many things I pay attention to daily that are not worth my attention at all.

Instead of being thankful for everything I have and living my life to the fullest, I’m concerned about unimportant things.

An ill person once told me that for her illness was a blessing in disguise and, at the time, I didn’t understand why, so I asked in confusion: but how?

This is what she explained:

‘’My illness, for the first time in life, has helped me realize how much unnecessary pain I was inflicting on myself daily, by choice. I let myself be hurt by the things that didn’t matter and now, when I’m faced with something I cannot control, I have learned to stop inflicting pain on myself because that’s one thing I can control. Everything else I can’t control I must accept anyway.’’

She chose not to be her own enemy.

That’s something I want to share with everyone else. Stop postponing things and stop accumulating pain.

Don’t be your own enemy. In every given moment you can choose to stop hurting yourself.

Don’t let your mind bring you down and don’t let other people control your life either. You’re not here for them.

Let go of resentment and let go of guilt. Stop poisoning your soul with something you are not.

You are not your pain, you are not your shame, you are not your jealousy or your sadness.

You may be experiencing those feelings, but they don’t define you and they shouldn’t control your life.

Show respect for your life, show respect for the person you are. This is done by choosing everything you can do, instead of everything you can’t.

It’s scary how easily we forget how fragile we are, yet at the same time, don’t let ourselves be strong either.

It might be because we never know how strong we are until being strong is our only option.

However tragic, sad, and hard it may seem, life is indeed something miraculous.

I’m not saying this to spread nonsense positivity, but to remind myself and others there’s more to life – something we all feel once our life is somehow threatened, physically or emotionally.

I want to thank all the loved ones in my life who have suffered from illness for reminding me what life is about.

While fighting your silent battles, you didn’t give up on life but let it flourish.

Whatever your fate may be, know that with your courage you brought peace to other people’s lives, and for that reason alone, you will never be forgotten.

Thank you for proving that life is, after all, a miracle.

Open Topic

What Does “To Be Anxious For Nothing” Mean?

Stop worrying! You are not accomplishing anything constantly worrying. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve heard those words. My husband is famous for asking me, “Can you change it?” Usually followed by my low mumble of a “no.” “Then let it go!” He reminds me over and over again of the serenity prayer I learned so long ago.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

For my entire life, I had heard “Be anxious for nothing,” followed by “just pray.” The problem I had with that is that it usually came from someone who didn’t battle with extreme anxiety. They weren’t walking in my shoes, living with an emotionally abusive parents who had convinced me I was never good enough. Over the years I became that co-dependent daughter who learned to do her very best to manipulate every situation for the best possible outcome.

A nervous, desperate, controller of situations. I was a fearful perfectionist desperately trying to make things ok. Never was it good enough, and if I stopped juggling the plates I had in the air for even a moment, it all came crashing down on me. I tried support groups. Nothing ever came from those. I went from an anxious, worrisome daughter, into a wife and mother with the same characteristics. I made everyone crazy, including myself.

God changed my life. The serenity prayer became real to me. A true mantra in my life, reinforced by my loving husband who willingly walked beside me in my recovery from living a life of anxious desperation.

Each time I read Philippians 4:6-7 I’m reminded to be anxious about nothing, but I could never put the scripture into my own words…to really own it until now. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” I needed to go deeper, to honestly look at the commands God was putting forth for me, and then to truly understand what He was saying. So I broke it down.

As I read scripture, I always look for directions God provides me. It’s a list for me of the command, and how to accomplish it or the frequency at which to do it. My study page looks like this.

Once those commands and the “how to” are boxed and underlined, I get the definitions. Yes, I’m looking up words to which I already have an understanding. I need to break them down further. I need to look at the true definition of the word, not simply my perceived understanding. And so it breaks down more.

After my study time, God allowed me to create my paraphrase of Philippians 4:6-7, and suddenly as I’m walking in this new phase of anxiety called healing, God provided me with the greatest understanding of this passage I have ever had. My interpretation became, “Don’t worry about anything. In all things, big and little, significant and insignificant talk to God. Make your worries and concerns known to Him. Be polite and thankful when you make your requests. Humble yourself and know that the calm tranquility that comes on from God and makes no sense to man will be upon you. That peace and comfort will overcome you. Protect your heart and mind from attack knowing that in Christ Jesus, you will have all that you need.”

I finally get it, Lord! He didn’t tell me never to worry, for in this human flesh that would be impossible. What God did say is when I worry, turn it over to Him. Talk to Him. Be respectful and polite, I mean He is my Father. But let Him know the things that worry me…the things that scare me, and shake me to my core. Then, rather than holding on to those things, and trying to fix them, or orchestrate my path around them, GIVE them to GOD and never pick them up again! He will bear my worries. He will carry my burdens, and He alone will provide me peace and comfort that truly can never be explained in any way other than it comes from God.

Dear One, emotional hurts are I believe the most difficult hurts to carry. It’s not a broken bone that needs to heal. It’s a broken heart, its wounds to the very core of our soul. But let me make this very clear. God can heal those! He can heal to the deepest places of your heart, mind, and soul. There’s only one catch. You have to be willing to let Him.

I pray you find peace, and that each day you can make a baby step toward putting your fears and worries on God. His shoulders are broad enough for both of you, and He’s ready, willing and able to carry your burdens. Just let Him.

Open Topic

Anxiety Is A Bitch, But I’m A Bigger One.

Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it’s the loudest voice in the room. The ONLY one you can hear!’
Healthyplace.com

Anxiety is one of the most popular diseases nowadays.

It can happen to anyone, no matter which age or gender they are.

It is a treacherous, quiet killer. It comes to your life without an invitation and stays there as long as you let it stay.

It also came to my life.

I started feeling strange symptoms overnight.

I was like a cat on hot bricks all the time.

Even though I supposed to feel relaxed and enjoy things, I couldn’t.

I tried to talk to myself. I had an inner monologue full of hope. But nothing worked.

What made things worse was the fact that I had a child along with the anxiety.

And trust me, it is not easy to be a full-time mom when your whole world is falling apart.

I couldn’t go out for a walk with my baby because I thought something bad will happen. Going to the park with him gave me the heebie-jeebies.

And I couldn’t find a valid reason to feel like that.

What made things worse was the fact that I had a child along with the anxiety.

I couldn’t go out for a walk with my baby because I thought something bad will happen. Going to the park with him gave me the heebie-jeebies.

And then I decided it is enough. I couldn’t stand my life passing by without me enjoying it.

That was tearing me down.

Even though my anxiety was a bitch, I decided to be a bigger one.

The day I made that decision was the best day of my life.

I decided to be over my problems.

Ok, I am anxious. So, what?

Half of the world suffers from anxiety and they can still function normally.

So, why would I be an exception?

Every time I wanted to enjoy my life, I started sweating and feeling butterflies in my stomach.

Those symptoms were part of my life. But not for long. As I started thinking positively, I felt that they were fading away.

After so much time spent suffering in my 4 walls, I became the old me.

The woman who laughs. The one who cares about others. The one who accepts invitations for lunches or coffee.

I must admit, it was very difficult at the beginning. I still remember the first time I went out to a coffee shop with my friend.

My palms were sweating. I was looking around, trying to see where the exit was.

I wanted to sit close to the toilet in case I get sick. I thought I will die if I don’t get out from that place.

I said to myself: “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!”

Then, I stopped for a second. I took a deep breath.

And then I said to myself: “Die if you want! I will just sit here and watch myself die. I want to know what it feels like!”

That was the moment when I defeated all my fears.

Somehow, my heartbeat was normal again and I wasn’t feeling dizzy at all.

That was the first time in 2 years that I felt like the old me again.

Every day I have been fighting more and more. And one day, I totally defeated my anxiety.

I am aware of the fact that I will always be a little bit nervous and anxious. That’s the way that cookie crumbles.

But it won’t be as bad as it was before.

While I am writing this letter, I am thinking about all you guys out there who suffer from this nasty disease.

I just want to say: “Hang in there! If I could beat this, so can you. You just need to think positively.”

Please bear in mind that anxiety does not define you!

You are doing your very best!

And don’t think that the game is over once you start suffering from anxiety.

The game is over when YOU say so!

Open Topic

He Was A Lesson, Not A Life Sentence.

We’ve all been there. We know how much it hurts. But please be brave. Life shouldn’t stop just because he left you.

Pick up the pieces of your heart. Glue them back together. You will heal.

Choose to learn from the past, not to regret it. If you focus too much on it, you’ll miss out on a beautiful future.

The experience will leave scars. They’ll be there all your life just to remind you to choose yourself more often.

They’ll mold you to become a better person in every possible way. They won’t let you go back to that man ever again.

Love is addictive.

And if you are suddenly deprived of it, you have to go through withdrawal.

Be stronger than that. Don’t get high. Think about the long-term side effects.

But don’t ever let that past define you. You aren’t a girl with a broken heart who can’t trust and love anymore. No, you are not.

Remember, you will love again. And more importantly, you’ll be loved as you never have before.

It’s hard to finish a relationship with someone you would have done anything for.

It’s hard, and it may get harder—but it will pay off. All the pain and tear-soaked nights will pay off. You’ll be free and happy.

Don’t give him more power over your life than he deserves. He is now just an ex, and that’s all.

Maybe you’ll say hello to him when you see him on the street. Maybe you won’t.

He’ll surely suggest that you two stay friends. Don’t do that. Don’t even respond.

He’ll move on much faster than you, and if you keep in touch with him, you’ll have to see him with his new girlfriends.

Maybe he asked to be friends to keep you available from time to time when he misses you.

If you show him you’re okay with that arrangement, he’ll enjoy those little make-up-and-cuddle sessions, and before you know it, you’ll be so far in that you won’t be able to stop.

You shouldn’t call him—not even to return his things or ask for yours. Be fair and give back what’s his, but send it via someone else.

If you come home one day to find a box of your stuff at your door, you should immediately get rid of it.

Throw it away—no matter what’s inside. Whatever it is, it will slow your healing process.

Leave him in the past. Don’t look back. What if Cinderella had gone back for her shoe? She would never have met her prince.

An ending doesn’t have to be a bad thing. An ending simply means that something else is about to begin.

The best thing you can do is devise some mechanisms for coping with your new situation.

For example, you could write a letter to him and set it on fire, along with your mementos and photographs.

Life is a journey, and it’s just taking you somewhere else. Buckle your seat belt and enjoy the ride.

To heal your wounds, you need to stop touching them. He wanted to leave, so show him the way out, and close that door forever.

He is now in the past. Your past is a history of victory. Learn from it. It’s the biggest lesson of your life.

Break your illusions about him. He was never your forever. Stop collecting stones when you deserve diamonds. You deserve the truest love of all.

Open Topic

What Is Marriage?

Everything that leads up to your wedding day is very romantic: planning a big reception, a beautiful dress, and of course, your Prince Charming.

Deeper into marriage, though, life can seem less romantic. Less exciting. Less interesting.

Taking care of your home and organizing your life after the wedding might even make you wonder if you did the right thing.

Wonder why it is so much less than you had hoped for.

You need to trust me on this one. Marriage is in no way less. It’s so, so much more.

Marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies but it beautifully deepens the bond you’ve created with your soulmate.

Marriage is letting go of the expectations of what you thought marriage should be and realizing that it is way more than you could ever dream.

Marriage is cuddling up on the sofa and realizing there’s no one else in the whole wide world you’d rather be with.

Marriage is being able to imagine a future together, whatever it may bring.

Feeling ready to deal with anything that comes your way because knowing you get to do it with your soulmate makes you fearless.

Marriage is learning that one fight doesn’t mean the end. A fight is just one of the ways you grow better and stronger together.

It is saying something intentionally hurtful and regretting it the moment it leaves your mouth, hoping they will forgive you.

Marriage means having someone to support you even when you are at your worst. It means having someone to laugh at your silliest jokes.

It means always being around. Forever. For better or for worse. It means he has your back and you have his, even when you screw things up.

In marriage you share everything.

Your home, your bed, your secrets, and your most intimate thoughts – the ones you thought you could never share with anyone.

Marriage is feeling secure, loved, and taken care of and making sure the other person feels that exact same way because of what you do for them.

Marriage is spending a huge portion of the night uncovered but refusing to get separate duvets anyway because you want him as close to you as possible for as long as possible.

It is singing and dancing to the same tune – one that only you two can hear.

Marriage is wanting to prove that you’re right so badly but choosing not to because it’s less important than creating a healthy atmosphere between you and your partner.

It means having a best friend who can read any face you make and know just what you’re up to simply by the way you look at them.

Marriage is showing each other that you care in your own unique way.

It doesn’t have to be roses, chocolates, and gifts.

It can be a home-cooked meal, a fixed sink, or calling in the middle of the day to check on your loved one.

Marriage is rarely grand gestures.

More often than not, it’s a messy web of short moments, memories, and beautiful things you say and do to each other.

Marriage is realizing that beauty, perfection, and social approval have nothing on your little community.

It is making a secret pact that guarantees it will always be the two of you against the world.

Marriage is disagreeing over many things but always being certain about one: making sure you never, ever give up on each other and your love.

It means enjoying each other’s differences and loving your partner for their flaws, not despite them.

Marriage is falling in love over and over again, each time with the same person but in a different way.

It is not only loving each other, but also liking and respecting each other as people. It means working together towards the same goal.

Marriage isn’t a necessity in life but it is an amazing luxury, bringing the promise of friendship, love, and support forever.

It is not something you simply get. It takes hard work.

Marriage is something you do – learning to love and care for your partner each day of your life.

Marriage does indeed begin when you marry the one you love, but it is built by loving the one you marry.

Open Topic

Thank God For…

We all have days when we take a deep gaze into the sky and ask, “God, why is this happening to me?”

Why is life so unfair? Haven’t I deserved better?

This happens through all stages of our life but somehow the aches of the heart tend to hurt differently.

The pain that comes with a broken heart is its own kind of sharp.

We can’t wrap our mind around why our feelings and efforts and investing our soul weren’t enough to make things work.

We can’t understand why someone we gave our best to treated us like crap, played with our love and betrayed everything we once had.

But God understands and He has a plan for us.

A plan that’s better than everything that we could ever imagine.

So no matter how hard it is for you now and how broken your heart is, trust in God’s plan; trust in His reasons.

That rough patch, that ugly relationship that had a bad break-up, are just tough trials, lessons you had to learn even though you didn’t want to.

They were there to show you what love is not.

They were there to teach you to approach love differently when it finds you next time.

You are heartbroken because you deserve someone better.

God knows it and with time, you will know it too.

As you continue your life’s journey, you will see what you want from life and love.

You will realize you deserve someone better and when the time is right, God will send you a man you deserve.

You just need to have patience and trust His will.

Never doubt God’s infinite mercy, even though He gave you this temptation.

Don’t immediately forget about all the good things in your life and don’t focus only on the bad.

Don’t feel hopeless because no matter how many times you prayed for relief, nothing got better.

Many people think that they are being punished for some past transgressions and that God wants to teach them a lesson through that suffering.

You may feel anger and bitterness. You are a good human being, so why is something bad happening to you?

It’s a natural and common question asked by many people when they’re faced with sudden trouble.

We are always thanking God for the good times in our lives but we forget to thank Him when hard times come.

He is the one who sends us both good and bad days and those bad days are here for some purpose.

You just have to find out their purpose.

Do you know what the greatest emotion of all is? It’s gratitude.

And despite all circumstances, you always have to be grateful.

Always be aware of all the things God gave you and always show your gratitude for them.

He had his reason why He gave you those moments and you have to find the right way to respond to those temptations.

God is our strength and the key to our salvation is in His hands.

Never stop thanking Him and praying for His mercy.

Those days won’t last forever. They will pass sooner than you think.

However, it’s important how you’ll behave.

You have a choice to make; whether you will be grateful to God for sending you those bad days to remind you of the good things in your life, or if you’ll be bitter and angry.

If you are overwhelmed by everything that is happening, you feel like your world is crumbling down, then there is only one right thing to do.

Show your gratefulness to God and He will show you the path out of your worries.

Thank God for bad days as because of them you will be able to understand real happiness.

You’ll be able to appreciate what’s really important in life.

Thank Him for putting you through some hard times because you’ll cherish every moment of your life.

You’ll cherish your family more. You’ll be able to cherish everything in your life.

Thank Him for making you realize how wonderful life can be and how ungrateful we can be.

Thank Him for giving you a lesson. The bad days really do help us grow and give us something to learn from.

Our life is designed with ups and downs.

Thank Him for helping you to embrace even those bad days.

There is no point in fighting it. Be aware of the fact that you are not alone.

We all have bad days and we are all learning to cope with them.

Thank Him for teaching you that there’s a lot of good to balance out the bad.

You are surrounded by countless good things; God gave you so many blessings that it’s impossible not to see them.

Thank Him for giving you an opportunity to see and learn new things.

Whenever something bad happens to you, try to see something positive in it; that’s the only way you’ll have the strength to cope with the bad days.

Thank Him for making you a stronger person.

Those bad experiences shape you to be better.

They make you tough. Nietzsche said ‘That which does not kill us, makes us stronger’.

That should be your life slogan.

Thank Him for making you believe in yourself. You didn’t quit and that is the most important thing.

You didn’t lose hope. Those bad experiences made you doubt yourself but you were stronger than that.

You found a way to make things better.

The bad days are the time to fight, they are here to remind us that we should be grateful to God.

To prove to ourselves that we are capable of fighting them. To believe that everything happens for a reason.

The bad days are a time to become a better person, to understand that only God can help us and to be patient in order to overcome those bad experiences.

Changes can’t happen overnight. After all, it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.

Always remember, God won’t give you more than you can handle.

And after every storm, He will send the sun to come out and shine on you again.

Open Topic

Read This If Anxiety Is The Boss Of You.

Silence the voices in your head. Ignore them completely. Nothing will change if you let them upset you. You know you’re not getting anywhere if you just give in.

You’re aware of that, so stop panicking and listen to your realistic side.

You’re only making things worse… for you… and everyone around you.

I feel like I need to tell you something… something you’re probably not aware of. And it’s important for you to know.

Anxiety shows up in different ways. Every person experiences anxiety at some level multiple times during their life.

Some live with it much more easily than others but life is almost never fair, so don’t bother yourself trying to find out why that is so and why you are not one of those people.

You’ve been handed the anxiety card, so live with it and stop asking: “Why me?!” The answer will never come. Let’s move on.

Believe it or not, there is a brighter side to your condition—only if you choose to see it. Anxiety is actually not a bad thing.

Yes, I said it and now listen to why!

Anxiety is not a bad thing once you learn to control it. In fact, anxiety is only a quick response from a healthy brain when you’re in danger.

Your brain is trying to find the best possible solution for the problem at hand. You’re experiencing instinctive thoughts and movements designed to save you from getting into trouble.

In other words, you’re always ready to handle whatever comes your way, whether you know it or not.

Is being prepared for the worst such an awful thing?

Well, it is when it’s ruining your life, when you have no power to restrain your thoughts. It is when you’re letting your anxiety take the wheel and be the boss of you.

Then you lose all control and that survival mode you naturally have quickly grows into panic, which leads to failing.

Please, read this every time you feel like a prisoner in your own mind…

You’ve made it through another day.

You’ve slept through the night although you woke up several times covered in sweat. You were in a place between sleep and reality during the whole night.

This feeling of unease bothered you like you forgot to do something or like something bad was going to happen, but you didn’t know when and you didn’t know how.

The only thing that your brain was telling you was that you needed to be on the lookout. You survived that night and you woke up to live another day.

You’re scared you won’t do your best. You’re scared you’re going to fail miserably and then fail again tomorrow.

But then, you go to sleep and you wake up the next morning… knowing you’ve survived another day.

You’re scared to fail and that’s more than okay.

Your biggest mistake is striving for perfection when it’s impossible. You don’t need to be perfect and you can’t be perfect—at least not to everyone.

That’s why I want you to read this message every time this feeling overwhelms you. There is no point in beating yourself up every time you fail. You will fail and you’re not the only one.

Don’t you understand you need to fail if you want to learn from it and be smarter and better the next time? Don’t let it discourage you. You can always try one more time.

You’re meant to be flawed like any other person in this world. The only difference between you and those who don’t care about perfection is, that they understand it’s impossible to achieve it and it only pressures them, while you’re still obsessed.

Stop apologizing when you don’t need to.

It’s all happening in your head. Out of nowhere, you create a scenario which is anything but the truth. You convince yourself that the outcome is somehow your fault.

So what if you made a mistake? No one is going to judge you solely on that. We are all human, we are all flawed and we all make mistakes.

Enough with the over analyzing of every little thing you do. Enough with the apologies for the things you aren’t even guilty of. That’s just your anxiety playing tricks on you.

Stop thinking too much… it’s killing you. You deserve your own love and understanding.

You are not alone.

Although you might feel like it often. Everyone’s dealing with something. We all have problems and issues buried deep inside, that we don’t like to talk about.

Don’t even for a second start to think you are alone in all of this mess. You are just struggling like the rest of us and you are amazing and worthy of admiration for all of it.

The only way your anxiety will win is if you allow it to be the boss of you. So, keep on fighting and never let it win. Be the only ruler of your life.

Open Topic

The Lies Anxiety Tells You.

“Shake it off,” “Get over it,” “It’s all in your head,” are lines that have never helped anyone fighting anxiety or depression, yet people say them often.

They probably mean well, but they’re not helping and probably making everything worse.

You simply cannot control your anxiety and your helpless position makes you feel even more desperate.

You feel like you have this pessimistic intruder inside of your head who is affecting every single word that comes out of your mouth and every move you make, and you’re completely powerless to it.

Somebody who has never battled a condition like this doesn’t know that anxiety is quite similar to a little voice in the back of your head you can’t chase away, as much as you try.

It’s like a naggy parent who follows you around, telling you that you won’t make it and you’re not enough.

The one who keeps telling you that you should give up before you embarrass yourself.

One who convinces you that everyone will abandon you sooner or later, that everything will turn out for the worst.

It’s this voice that’s making all of this chaos in your head.

What they don’t know is that anxiety is telling you it’s completely pointless for you to put your hands to something, when it’s more than obvious that you’ll fail.

It manages to convince you that you’re good for nothing and that you can’t succeed in anything, so it’s better not to try at all.

Anxiety whispers in your ear that you’re not meant to be loved and that nobody could ever truly care for you.

It’s telling you that your friends are still in your life out of pity, that your boyfriend is only leading you on and taking advantage of you, and that even your closest family members are sick of you and want you out of the way.

It convinces you that sooner or later, everyone will cut you off and replace you.

That people around you will get tired of your condition and are already slowly pulling away from your life.

And anxiety doesn’t stop here.

You hear those kids playing across the street? I bet they’re laughing at you.

You know that great guy you’ve just met?

Well, he’s too good to be true and it’s just a matter of time before when he walks away and leaves you heartbroken.

What about that job you applied for? Well, you couldn’t land it in a million years.

After all, there are much better candidates than you.

There are much prettier and smarter girls that guy would rather date.

And the list goes on forever.

I’m not here to tell you to magically shut this voice inside of your head up.

After all, I know that’s impossible for now and that you would be the happiest person in the world if only you could make it happen.

Nevertheless, I’m just begging you not to believe it.

If necessary, hear what it has to say and leave it behind you.

Remember: Anxiety is your enemy. It does everything possible to mentally destroy and spiritually kill you.

However, it’s your job not to let it.

The question is: Why would you listen to someone like this?

If it were a real life person, would you really follow their advice or take their opinion into consideration?

Would you allow someone this mean to get the best of you and control you completely?

Don’t forget that you’re in charge. You’re the only one with control in your hands.

You are stronger than your insecurities, self-doubts, and overthinking because they’re a part of you – not the other way around.

Your voice is louder than everything your anxiety is trying to sell you.

Your optimism is above its pessimism.

Your light has what it takes to conquer its darkness.

And deep down, under all those damaged parts, you know very well that you’re enough.

You see that your anxiety is deceiving you and that none of its claims is true.

Deep down, you see your worth. You know you’re loved and, most importantly, you love yourself.

Open Topic

A Letter To The Girl Who Takes Care Of Everyone Else, But Herself.

My Dear,

I know that you are giving your best to satisfy all those people around you. But in all that mess, you are forgetting to take care of yourself. So just stop for a second and breathe. Your life mission is not to save the world, so don’t do it, okay? Take some time for yourself only and enjoy the things that you didn’t have time to do for a while. Listen to your favorite song or go to the movies with your friends. But don’t let other people’s problems affect you so badly.

You don’t need to save all of them.

If they want to, they can change their own lives. So, just leave them to handle their problems alone. Because you can’t carry all their problems on your shoulders. If you continue doing that, you will burn out. And then you won’t be good to yourself or to your friends.

Maybe you are doing all that to get away from your own problems.

Because it is much easier to give advice than to get it and to follow it in your own life. Maybe you are so focused on others that you forget your own problems and think that somehow, as if by magic, they will fade away. Maybe that is just your way of dealing with all that stress accumulated inside of you.

No matter how much you want to save the world, you can’t do it.

You are not a hero who will save all those who suffer or take their pain away. Your heart is too small to store all those feelings. You will end up in tears, completely broken because you didn’t think about yourself in time. Please, remember that some things can’t be fixed. The same is with people. Some of them don’t want to be fixed, and some of them are simply not ready to do that yet. So let it go. It is okay to let it go and leave others to decide about their lives.

You set your expectations high, thinking that if you are goodie, others will feel the same way.

But in most cases that is not true. People are self-centered and selfish, and most of them wouldn’t help you if they saw you suffering.

I know that you want to help everyone, but there are times when you need to say, ‘No.’

You need to make yourself a priority and not an option. Because if you don’t do it, nobody else will. If you continue doing all this, you will lose yourself in the chaos. And once you lose yourself, it is difficult to be the old you again. So, be smart. Help people, but don’t forget to help yourself in the first place. And every time you feel like not getting out of your home, stay there. You need yourself and others can wait.

What you have been doing is amazing and I just wish there were more people like you in this cruel place.

I wish that all those you helped so many times, would take your hand and go through life with you when you are experiencing a bad phase of your life. I wish that others would be so careful and caring like you are.

You are worthy. You are amazing. And above all, your heart is made out of gold. I hope you will find a person who will be with you in better or worse, treating you like a queen, because that’s what you are – a queen.

I hope someone will see that brightness and honesty in your eyes and provide you with the same.

And I hope he will be worth the wait. So, continue doing what you are the best at – spreading the love and affection – but don’t forget to keep some of that for yourself.

The world is lucky to have a person like you!

With love,
One who has been there

Open Topic

Abuse is Not Love.

I have no idea what they told you while you were growing up, but let’s get one thing straight from the beginning—abuse is not love.

Just think about it, how many women would be spared of torture if only we stopped romanticizing abuse?

No, love shouldn’t be hard. It does require a lot of effort, but it should never require for you to bend over backward to receive it.

No, love shouldn’t hurt.

Longing for someone, missing them when they’re away, aching for their embrace and touch are all normal things, but this is all considered as sweet suffering.

True love never questions your worth, never makes you wonder if you’re good enough or makes you feel like your heart is being shattered into a million pieces day after day.

See, we all need to stick one thing in our head—real men don’t make love feel hard, they make it feel like it’s the easiest thing there is.

Real men don’t hurt their women, they protect them. Everything else is just a lie we tell ourselves in fear of letting go of our toxic partner.

The truth is, a real man would never do anything to deliberately hurt the woman he loves.

He’d never do anything to make his woman feel insecure or threatened or do anything that could break her heart.

There is a list of things real men do and abusing women is never one of them.

Men who abuse women are nothing but cowards hiding behind their manhood. But they’re not real men.

They’re just the mere shape of men, but there is nothing but rotten souls on the inside.

If you told a kid to draw someone who abuses women either physically or emotionally, do you know what they’d draw? A monster, and that’s exactly what they are.

The thing is, a real man respects himself enough to never tell lies, to never play games, to never break someone who gave him their heart. As simple as that.

Real men cherish their women. They know that whatever you give to a woman, she returns it double. If you give her your heart, she’s gonna give you all of her love.

If you give her a house, she’s gonna give you a home. If you give her your love, she’s gonna make you feel like the only man in this world. What more could you possibly ask for?

Real men protect their women. But they don’t just pretend to do it in public and then abuse them when they’re home and nobody is watching.

They protect their women even from themselves. They make them feel safe and they never allow anything bad to get to them.

The catch is, that real men are aware of women’s strength, they don’t consider them the weaker sex at all, but they’re there for them in the moments when life knocks them down.

Real men hate to see shattered women on their knees, begging for love or for mercy.

That just makes their stomachs turn. That’s just something a sadist is turned by on.

What hypes a real man up is seeing his woman with her head held high, happy and confident in her own skin. There is no bigger turn-on for true men than this.

A happy woman is the biggest strength of a real man. Only cowards enjoy abusing and bringing down women who chose to give them their hearts.

Sometimes, because of the circumstances we might find ourselves in, or because of the pressure of society, we settle. And settling is one of the greatest friends of abuse.

You just start going with the flow. You start ignoring your wishes and desires. You forget your worth and you think you deserve all the pain you get.

But that’s so wrong. So, please don’t ever settle. Instead, love yourself to the point where solitude will be a better option than allowing someone to treat you with disrespect.

Self-love is the key to dodging the bullet called abuse. When you think about it, it does make sense.

Because if you love yourself, you know what you deserve.

You are aware of your worth and you know how you deserve to be treated.

When you love yourself, you open doors for others to love you too.

So, whoever you are, whatever you stand for in this world, regardless of what you’ve been through in your life or the amount of love you feel for a man, always know that real men protect their women, they don’t abuse them. So, please, don’t ever settle for an abuser.

Know that the man who’s worthy of you will make his love feel like home.

A real man will be there for you when times get ugly, he’ll be your shoulder to lean on when things get tough and he’ll do everything to protect you and to make you feel safe.

Open Topic

Never Break a Woman Who’s Already Broken.

You know that someday he’s going to wake up overwhelmed by sadness and betrayal and ask himself: Is this how she felt?

Yes. Even worse, it’s how you felt so many times in life that you almost lost all your hope. You forgot what safe felt like.

You asked yourself: What did I do to deserve this? Why can’t I just have a normal, loving relationship, full of trust?

It’s the only thing you ever wanted. It should be so simple.

After some time, you realized it wasn’t about you or what you wanted.

It was always about him and you didn’t even mind it until he violated your boundaries and transformed your whole world into such a lonely place.

You worked so hard to make yourself vulnerable again because you knew that was the only way a relationship could work.

You were facing your fears one by one, you wanted this to be pure. A new beginning.

You tried to understand. You didn’t think it would be easy to deal with all your fears and insecurities.

Looking back at it now, you realize you were just trying to justify his selfish behaviors.

It’s crazy how love can blind you. You didn’t have anyone to reach out to—because he was all you knew.

You poured yourself into him. The person you adored became your worst nightmare.

Everything you shared became just aching memories and more pain. You felt so alone.

Is there anything worse than sharing all your fears and hopes with someone just to see them use them against you, use them to hurt you more?

How is that possible? He said he cared so many times.

He said no one came close to you. He said no one could hurt you.

There’s nothing scarier than thinking those words were straight-up lies and he was the one who hurt you the most.

The worst thing is, you stopped trusting yourself and this is because you couldn’t believe you fell for the same thing again.

It made you feel so insecure. You lost all of your confidence.

A voice in your head kept saying it was all your fault and it wouldn’t go away.

Every day, you would wake up in fear, with a weight on your chest and disbelief that this was now your reality.

You just wanted to go back to sleep because that was the only time the pain would go away.

You prayed to be yourself again one day. It took so much time just to make yourself do normal things.

You wanted to enjoy the small things again, so you started with everything that didn’t remind you of him.

I want you to know that there’s life after this.

I know this made you guarded but you must know there are people who understand you and who are going through the same.

Little by little, you will start listening to what you want, what makes you feel comfortable and safe.

You will decide that you want to know yourself better.

You will start knowing yourself outside of your pain.

Firstly, you can start by accepting your pain and forgiving yourself for not knowing better.

Secondly, you can take all of your life goals seriously and start making progress in becoming yourself again.

Let yourself fall in love with all you can do and all you can be.

Make a decision to see everything you went through as motivation and a learning curve.

Learn to accept that everything in life happens for a reason, one you don’t know in advance.

This realization will make you at peace with yourself. There’s no other way than to let go and try again.

Your strength is in your life story. Your sense of power comes from always believing, trying and moving on, despite the pain people have caused you.

Once you realize that no person can take your power if you don’t let them, you’re invincible. Stand in your power.

This life is yours and yours only and it’s you who gets to decide what you’re going to do with it.

It’s never too late. It’s just one decision away.

Do it all not to prove yourself to anyone, but yourself because you’re the one who deserves it all.

Open Topic

When Depression Is Your Middle Name.

I am one of many faces of depression. No, depression is not always obvious. People seem to think that depression looks like something gloomy or frail, thrown together with the last thread of care, but sometimes depression is the brightest person in the room. It’s the person who makes your day enjoyable with their charm, the lady in the office who glows with excitement, the man in the church who you admire for his seemly ways. You’d never know in a million years that sometimes behind the smile… is a person with so many complex emotions bottled up inside. A person who is trying so hard to be strong for everyone, when they can barely manage to be strong for themselves. They know the feeling of loneliness, being unworthy, or not feeling loved. They protect you and shower you with so much kindness, so that you do not have to feel what they feel every day.

Struggle with depression means that today, I’d wake up like any other person, except the moment I opened my eyes, reality would instantly set in. A river of emotions could possibly flood my mind. Even though I was thankful to be alive, depression would still make me unsure of how to face the day. When I finally got out of bed, I would most likely be weary or afraid. While getting ready, I’d force a smile and silently reassure myself that I could fake it another day, if I needed to.

See, depression is like a social mask that you slip on. A mask that helps you greet people most days, even though you’re secretly drowning in your sorrows. Please understand that depression is a constant struggle. You’re trying to look sane for society, when really your mind is a complete mess.

When they asked me if I was okay, my response was, “I’m tired,” a reply mistaken time and time again for sleepy. I wasn’t sleepy tired, I was tired of fighting my own mind. Yet, they missed the hints, the signs, the clues. Not because they were oblivious, but because they didn’t understand. What’s the use in replying that you’re good when you’re not? I was always afraid to come out and openly admit my problem to the world, from feeling like they would reject me. So this is why I’d never answer anyone honestly.

Don’t get me wrong. There are good days. Days that are great. I laugh, I talk, I enjoy things. And sometimes I even think to myself that I’m perfectly okay. Feeling like maybe, just maybe, things are going back to normal. You have to realize though, at times that feeling fades as quickly as it comes. It’s like a switch clicks off without warning. I may have smiled today, but that doesn’t mean that I’m completely okay. I’m fine for the time being.

Confusing, isn’t it? Well, that’s my mind, day in and day out. I’m trying to explain this the best way I know how. If you’ve ever dealt with depression, then these words may make sense. If you haven’t, please spare me the harsh comments or snide remarks. Be mindful of how scary opening up can be. Exposing myself puts me at risk of getting hurt or being judged. Your careless remarks are liable to add onto my list of already growing insecurities.

I need your ear to listen, because for me, crying is therapy. I don’t want you to tell me I’m suicidal or that I need medication, because that is not always the case. I just need a person to trust in, someone to turn to. We are not crazy people. We need time to heal, time to think, time to fix the brokenness inside. We need support, we need love, we need reassurance.

Remember, we just cope differently with what life throws our way. Yes, we pray, we fight, we try. We are just people searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. A trace of hope. Something to save us from our despair.

Open Topic

Reset Your Life.

Sometimes, it’s a good idea to reset. You know, when your computer freezes and doesn’t want to respond in any way, then it’s time to hit that reset button.

A computer is ‘refreshed’ and given a chance to start over.

Basically, it’s the same thing with us. Sometimes, we get stuck in life and we have to do something that will get us out of there but you don’t know absolutely anything about it.

You know that you desperately need a reset but you don’t know how to make it happen. We usually wait until some higher power gets involved and we are left without a choice.

When we are faced with something unpleasant or painful – sickness, the loss of a loved one, an accident – then somehow, magically, things get prioritized and everything becomes crystal clear to you.

The things you need and want in your life. The people you need and want in your life. Everything seems to be in order.

You made amends with yourself. You are now in a place you always wanted to be. You are satisfied with your life finally.

And all that took one moment. One moment where you realized what the point of life is.

One moment to learn how to live in peace and harmony. And you can’t do that unless you ‘refresh’ yourself just like you do with your computer.

Just stop. Stop doing all those things you think are essential to your life even though they are making you unhappy.

Stop chasing responsibilities, jobs, lunches, people, whatever. Take time for yourself.

It’s time to reevaluate your life.

Are you satisfied? What is missing in your life? What do you want to do? What makes you truly happy?

Look at your life objectively. Make some major decisions.

Sometimes, this can be uncomfortable and you won’t know what is the right thing to do.

Maybe it’s time to let go of that almost boyfriend who is making you miserable.

Maybe you should decide to forgive a friend who has failed you.

Maybe you could gather the courage and start the project that has been on your mind for a long time.

Or maybe you will dare to take that journey which you have delayed for a long time.

Something needs to change in your life. It doesn’t have to be any radical changes. It needs to be something that will make you feel peaceful and happy.

You feel like you don’t have enough energy to deal with life? You feel like you are burned out? Then take a break. Take a break from your life.

Make yourself a relaxing bath or go to the place that has the most calming effect on you. Breathe mindfully.

Make yourself feel like you are the only person in this world, or at least that you are the most important one.

No worries, no pain, no stress. You break free from everything that is making you tired and exhausted.

Life isn’t all about constant fights or struggles and running after things that in the end aren’t so important. Sometimes, it’s about resting and letting things be.

When you feel like you are stuck in life or you are too burned out to continue with everyday responsibilities, you must hit that reset button. Find time in your schedule for you.

Here are some tips to refresh your life. I hope this will help you.

1. Fall in love with yourself again

You are important! Your needs are important. Your feelings are important.

If you don’t value yourself enough and take a stand for yourself, you sabotage yourself that way.

Look yourself in the mirror. Put your make-up on and wear the best dress in your closet and the highest heels you have.

Do you see that girl? She is full of life and only she has the power to rule her life.

Remember, it is possible to take care of your needs and at the same time take care of the people around you.

Once you fulfill your needs, you will be far more capable of helping those who need help.

2. Postpone all work for a week

If you feel overwhelmed, don’t accept any new jobs during the week. If you happen to get some new projects, kindly decline them.

If it is a job that you cannot refuse, say that you have to complete your ongoing projects this week and that you will return to the job assigned to you next week.

Then choose two or three projects (depending on the complexity) and concentrate on completing them this week. Take care of any new projects next week.

3. Plan a trip

This is the journey we mentioned before. You planned it a long time ago but you always had something more important to do, so you postponed it for some other time.

Don’t postpone it any longer. Do it now.

I mean, right now. Pick a destination, buy the tickets, pack a bag of clothes and the things you’ll need. And that’s it.

You deserve to rest. Bon voyage!

4. Try a new hobby

Hobbies often provide a creative outlet that you might not get in your everyday life.

They allow you to do something that’s just for you. Or you can try to get out of your comfort zone and try something new.

Maybe you’ll discover something new. Maybe you’ll get to like something you never even wanted to try.

However, it will brighten your life. Any new thing you try can get the spark back into your life.

5. Break your routine

We all have some kind of routine but it gets so monotonous. You feel trapped in a life of routines.

Fortunately, you can get out of it. One of the best ways to stay ‘alive’, engaged and full of energy is to experience new stuff and new opportunities every day.

Shake up your usual routine. Remember—less routine, more life.

It all depends on you. Don’t wait for life to reset you and put you in a corner. Maybe then it will be too late.

Only you can change your life. Only you can repair your system.

It’s all in your head. All you have to do is push the button.

Slow motion camera stabilization shot of a young girl having fun throwing buckwheat flowers up in the air in the middle of the field in the countryside. Low angle view.
Open Topic

A Goodbye Letter To My Bestie.

Break-ups are incredibly painful, no matter what kind of a break-up it is. Losing somebody who meant a great deal to you and suddenly having to live as if they were never there is difficult to say the least.

Friendship break-ups are something that is on a whole other spectrum of emotions. Having a true, genuine friend nowadays is one of the most precious things one can have.

Having somebody who will stand by you, sometimes all the way back from high school, through college and to today, when you are finding yourself and figuring yourself out is something never to take for granted.

Not everybody gets to have a friend like that, one who withstands the test of time and has proved to be the best shoulder to cry on, the best ear to listen to and the best person to have the most amount of fun with.

I can proudly say that I had that and while it lasted, it was the best thing that I had going for me in life. Until it was over.

We were two best friends, the best that anyone could imagine together. We were so in sync and no one would ever see one without the other. We were like each other’s better half.

If you cried, I cried, when you were sad, I was feeling sad, and when one of us was happy, the other one was over the moon!

When I was going through something extremely difficult a few years back, you never let me out of your sight. You were there whenever I needed you and you made sure I never felt alone.

You would cater to my every need and I was left in awe of how patient and considerate you were, knowing that I was not easy to be around.

I often think about those times, when it was just you and me against the world, overcoming every obstacle together and always landing on our feet.

I could never imagine not having you with me, it was simply not an option. You were like a sister to me and I knew you felt the same about me.

So this is why it’s so difficult for me to write this letter to you. I never in a million years thought I would ever be doing this but here I am…

I will never be able to forget the day when I started realizing something seemed off.

I was so adamant that it must be just my imagination and that everything was peachy but it wasn’t.

You were no longer the person I knew. It was a complete shift in our relationship. Our closeness and our ability to get through anything together suddenly felt compromised and I was in complete and total disbelief.

You started distancing yourself from me. With no apparent reason, no explanation and no warning, you were suddenly so distant.

I cannot tell you how hurt I was. It was like I was watching from afar, not able to understand that this was you and me in question and that this was MY reality.

There are few things in this world as painful as realizing that your best friend is no longer in this with you.

It is an indescribable feeling, like you are slowly but surely being replaced in your person’s life by somebody different, somebody who is not good for her but you had absolutely no say in the matter.

All I could do was take comfort in my bed and cry myself to sleep, praying that I would wake up and this would all be a nightmare.

That you would still be a huge part of my life and we would laugh together about this horrible nightmare I’d had.

But it was all too real.

Before I knew it, we went our separate ways and I lost you to somebody new.

A part of me died that day. A part of me is so numb right now, because the pain it took realizing that it was over between us almost ended me.

One day, we were so happy, full of life and planning the rest of our lives, always by each other’s side, feeling like nothing could break us but now, it was like we never existed.

I felt like I imagined our entire friendship. If it was that good, how could it have ended so abruptly and inexplicably? What did I do so wrong that you suddenly stopped loving me?

That is when I realized something. God has a way of taking things and people from us when they no longer serve a purpose in our life. And that hit hard.

And as difficult as it was to grasp this and come to terms with it, I had to make myself believe this in order to keep my sanity.

There was no other way for me to keep going.

I will never forget the feeling of knowing somebody loved me that much and asked for nothing in return except my friendship.

I will never forget what it was like having somebody who was down for anything. I never had to persuade you to do anything with me. You were always down for an adventure; even if it was a little risky, it didn’t matter, as long as we were a team.

You truly were my best friend and while you were, it was the best thing in my life. I loved you like we were blood and felt comforted by your mere presence.

Many people pray to have what we had and I will never take for granted how special it was and how rare it is to obtain.

You may no longer be a part of my life and I may never fully understand or accept it but I will always look back on our time with a smile on my face.

I refuse to be bitter about it. It is too easy to let myself be consumed by profound sadness, sorrow and self-pity… but I will no longer indulge in any of these emotions.

I am strong. I am capable. And I WILL move on. It will be hard without you. But I will learn to find my way again.

I am aware that it will be hard to replace you, so I won’t try. But if somebody enters my life and it is anything like what you and I had, I will welcome it with open arms.

Who knows, maybe it will last a lifetime, or maybe it will be there to teach me a valuable lesson.

Either way, I’m ready. I love you and part of me will always love you… but I’m letting you go.

I wish you nothing but the best and if you ever need a true friend again, you know where to find me.

I miss you.

Goodbye my friend, it was a wild ride.

Open Topic

The Value Of Friendship.

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school.

But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”  – Muhammad Ali

The Core Of Friendship

When you think about it, true friendship is one of the most meaningful and long-lasting relationships of your life.

One good friend is worth more than ten fake ones! And if you’re lucky, you’re stuck with that friend until you are here no longer.

What friendship is really all about is loyalty and commitment.

It’s a promise to stand by your friend through thick and thin. It’s holding their hand through all of their storms and wiping away their tears when life throws them a curve ball.

Friendship means forging a bond so strong that nothing can break you apart.

It means knowing that there will be moments of anger, hidden grudges, and periods of not talking, but at the end of the day, when your best friend calls on you, you’re there in a heartbeat.

Nobody can really explain the peculiarity of a friendship, but one thing is for sure: great friends make life that much more enjoyable.

Knowing that you have your small circle of close friends who would do anything for you is beneficial to your well-being and mental health.

Real friendship means you’ve got a rock and a partner through life. And guess what?

That’s all you could possibly wish for. Having your closest friends means having a support system through difficult times, who are without a doubt going to make you feel good again.

And yes, a lot of times it’s going to be beautiful, enjoyable, and full of secret-telling and over-sharing.

But the kind of friend who can listen to you talk about makeup and guys, and immediately afterwards about your deepest insecurities, is a friend to keep in good times and bad.

I’m sure we all have our own experiences where having a real friend helped you through a really dark period of life. I know I do.

And that particular period of my life is when I realized the unbelievable importance of having your loved ones around and how crucial it is to have that one best friend who will love you when you forget to love yourself.

That One Friend That Makes It All Worth It

I like to think that I have a nice little circle of friends that I can call real ones.

Through different stages of my life, I’ve encountered many people, of which some have become an irreplaceable part of my life.

Of all those people, there was always that one person (I call her my best friend, but she is honestly everything to me) that was just there through absolutely everything.

Every heartbreak, every failed exam, every shitty job, every drama with my family.

She was my constant through it all.

You know what I’m talking about? Do you have that one person that means the world to you and you couldn’t imagine functioning without them?

This best friend of mine is the most beautiful human being I have ever met, inside and out. 

There isn’t anyone else who knows me the way she does. Of all the meaningful friendships in my life, she is the one that stands out.

When I was going through all kinds of crap in my life, she was the only one that I could rely on.

And honestly, if not for her, I don’t know where I’d be right now. 

Do you know that feeling when you just want to cut contact from everyone?

Life gets just so fucked up and you can’t deal with talking to anyone and explaining it. It’s too painful.

You’d rather just be on a desert island and alone with your shitty thoughts.

That is what I was going through, and to be frank, I wasn’t being a really good friend.

But she never gave up on me. She never stopped loving me. She never got angry with me for never initiating conversation or texting her that I was okay.

She never had anything but complete understanding of all the shitty things that were happening and all she wanted was for me to know that I’ve got her!

And that made me realize how incredibly important and helpful it is to have a friend in the shittiest times of your life.

Not everyone sticks around when you’re difficult to love, but the real ones do. 

And after having gone through absolutely everything with this amazing woman, I realized that taking a friend like that for granted is one of the worst things you could do in life.

If You Need A Friend, Be A Friend

Taking care of a friendship and nurturing it should be something that never leaves your mind. It’s so simple.

If you are in need of a friend, then simply be a friend!

Call your friends and ask them how they are. Shoot them a text out of the blue and let them know you’re thinking about them.

All those friendships that are now entering your mind while you’re reading this are the exact ones that you need to preserve and take care of.

We are all grownups here, we all know that constant contact is but a thing to long for.

Lives become so messy, everybody has jobs, families, kids, and as you grow older, you realize that having that 2-hour phone call with your best friend simply to catch up on everything is now a dream.

And it makes you sad for a second, but then you remember: It doesn’t really matter when the last time you two talked was.

It doesn’t even matter when you saw each other last.

This friend is somebody who gets that life is too complicated to expect those long chats over wine and weekly gatherings is unrealistic.

She knows you’re best friends for life and vice versa.

And no matter what happens, when you DO call, she’s going to answer it as joyfully as if you were in your early twenties all over again.

Friendship is so pure. You can go days, weeks, and months without much communication.

But when you meet up with those people that have made your life richer by being in it, there’s nothing but pure, genuine, all-encompassing love.

And in those moments you realize that having this bond trumps almost anything.

So be a friend, and you’ll have a friend. Be a shoulder to lean on and you’ll have it back.

Nobody expects you to be at their beck and call, but when you’re needed, don’t hesitate, just be there.

And one day, you’re going to realize that those people were the ones that made your life worth living. 

It’s that college best friend you were so close with way back when, but life took you very far from each other.

You may be in different places in your life now, but in your heart, you’re right there with each other where it all started.

Yes, life takes you for a spin and for a moment there, we all lose sight of who we are and what we’re supposed to do.

But that’s okay. Your best friends are there to remind you of the person you’ve always been and give you a push so strong that you instantly remember why you have them around.