No one said it was going to be easy. In fact, most questioned the desire to even try. But the real question is: Why try? Who in their right mind would wait months, the return date unknown, for someone living 3,000 miles across an ocean? The more I think about it, the crazier it seems. But call me crazy, because I spend every minute of my time thinking about how to make it work.
The closest connection you have is through a screen over FaceTime, and even then, due to poor connection, it’s just a blurry photo. Your mind is aching to piece together the full picture from memory. A phone call for only 5 minutes seems to be the highlight of the day, because for those 5 minutes, you can pretend that they’re right there with you. Everyone talks about the good — the care packages, the surprise flowers on your doorstep, the momentous reaction of running into one another’s arms at the airport.
The only bad ever discussed is the cheating, the falling out of love, the giving up. The bad that’s intertwined with the good goes without mention. The late nights of questioning whether or not you’re still in love. The awkwardness of being together after getting so used to being apart. The countless anniversaries that are spent alone in bed, wishing you had your person beside you. This is what hurts the most — cheating you prepare for, falling out of love happens gradually, the giving up doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the little things that shouldn’t mean much that add up and make you overthink. The sleepless nights that make you question if you’re enough are the moments that eat you alive.
But when you’re with “the one,” none of this matters. Those restless nights make you want the relationship more. The craving of that person’s touch drives you to do anything in your power to get back with them. Any restraint you had placed on showing your emotions swirls down the drain because all you want is that person to know how badly you want them. Need them. Miss them. Love them.
It’s that love that comes back up and reminds you that you shouldn’t let go when you might want to. That kind of love isn’t replaceable or fictional, because it’s that kind of love you watch in movies and think about one day finding. It’s right in front of you, behind that screen, waiting for you – no matter how long it may take.