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Gut Instincts In Relationships.

Always trust your gut

Gut instincts in relationships can be the most important thing. I learned the hard way.

Always trust your gut.

Did you know that deep within the tissue of your gut is the enteric system? It’s made up of the same cells found in your brain.

So, it’s not so far fetched when we talk about our ‘gut feeling’.

‘Gut instincts’ as though our stomach is a kind of the second brain!

And why people often say:

Go with your gut

When asked by a friend what decision they should make. ‘Go with your gut’ is definitely something I also say. Especially gut instincts in relationships.

Gut feeling

What is gut feeling?

That strange feeling you can’t quite put your finger on. A churning in your stomach.

Your hairs going up on the back of your neck. A voice in your head.

This is your intuition telling you something you should heed.

Trust your intuition, follow your intuition

Gut instincts are a primal protective mechanism. They are there to detect things before our conscious brain can see them.

I watched a television series once about notorious serial killers. It featured people the killer had targeted who had survived.

They all talked about a funny feeling they’d had. Something wasn’t quite right.

They listened to intuition. It saved their life.

There are times when we ignore our gut, no longer trust it. Or it’s numbed. We can’t even hear it anymore. This is when things start to go wrong.

My gut feeling

When I first met my abusive ex all the warning signs were there, my intuition alerted me to them.

The red flags were huge. I ignored them all.

I chose to see only what I wanted to see, was swept up in the heady rush of those early days.

My heart overruled my head.

As the relationship progressed, if I questioned him for any bad behavior, he would gaslight me. Telling me I was imagining things or over exaggerating them.

Gaslighting distorts your sense of reality and leads you to mistrust your gut.

Over time I was numb to any gut feelings at all. Or at least, I couldn’t trust them anymore.

When he blamed me for the abuse, I believed him.

Gut instincts

A child raised by someone narcissistic can experience gaslighting.

The child expresses how it feels about something their parent has done, for example. The narcissist responds by telling them:

You’re wrong. Too sensitive.

The child faces two options. They think:

Either my parent is right, or my gut instincts are.

In their vulnerable mind the parent can’t be wrong, so they feel it must be them.

They learn to ignore their gut or not trust it as a barometer for safety.

Swallow their feelings and not express them, even when hurt or upset. Put others’ before themselves as their self-esteem goes down.

Which is why when some of these children grow up, they end up in abusive relationships.

Listen to your gut

The further we move away from what our gut is telling us to do, the more we step away from ourselves. What is best for our well-being.

It’s important to start listening to what your gut is telling you and follow your intuition.

Gut instincts in relationships

The other thing that can stop you from listening to your gut is when you project onto others. Have a fantasy in your head of what you hope and believe they can be.

When you’re dating, for example. Particularly if you’re dating too soon, dating when lonely or for the wrong reasons.

Instead of being still. Observing their body language and their actions. You project onto them your dream of who they might be. The fantasy life you might have with them.

If this person is narcissistic, you listen to all the incredible things they say. They’re masters of telling you what you want to hear. It confirms they’re this fantasy person you’ve been hoping and waiting for.

You ignore those telltale red flags that are telling you otherwise. When you look back, you’ll realize you did see them. Your gut feeling would have been warning you. If only you’d heeded it.

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I Thank God For Creating The Best Version Of Me.

Life has never been easy for me. It is indeed a roller coaster ride. I wish I’d experienced more ups, but today, when I looked back, I’ve spent most of the past few years experiencing downs. My patience and faith in God are being tested each day. There was a time that I thought I was blind because all I could see was darkness. My positivity was shaken. Slowly, my hope was fading. I felt like drowning. It was a never-ending problem—an extreme ride indeed.

But despite all of this? I love life. When I look back, these struggles will always be a constant reminder that I am strong—stronger than those superheroes I used to adore. It is simple proof that I am loved, that God’s love for me is overflowing, everlasting, unfailing, and never-ending. Proof that God will always send angels and will always provide. Because despite the bad, here I am, standing still and ready to face everything!

Maybe this life has caused me pain and failure, but this pain and failure will always serve as life lessons for me to strive for more and do my best in the years to come, until those dreams are finally mine. Maybe there were some situations that gave me every reason to give up and let go of hope, but with God’s grace, I was able to overcome everything. I’ve learned the beauty of waiting and trusting in His plans. I’ve learned He will truly never let me down.

This is the best version of me saying: Thank you, Lord! Thank you for all the laughter and tears. Thank you for all my ups and downs. Thank you for all the good and bad memories. Thank you, because I’ve met new people that slowly became a big part of me. They became my extra source of happiness and strength. I will always consider this life a beautiful gift. I am now ready to rock the world with the best version of myself.

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Stop Ignoring Your Gut Feelings.

I never understood why people are afraid of feelings.

Afraid to express, to create, to love, to live, to be whatever they are or what they want to be.

Feelings are guidance – and probably the truest guidance we can ever get because they come from within ourselves. They come from the deepest depths of ourselves, where all our dreams and longings are buried, waiting to be woken up one day to shine through our eyes like stardust.

Don’t get me wrong on this one. To grow and thrive in life, you have to deal with other people and their opinions, and while some of their advice can be leading you to great opportunities, when it comes to your dreams and your own personal journey in life, only you and your heart know what is best for you, and your feelings are your pilot to land you in this place.

So why don’t you just listen to them?

They always know which direction to go, which way to take, which road to pass, which bridges to burn. They lead you the right way.

Always.

Whenever we encounter a new situation or experience or are presented with a difficult decision, we do immediately feel something about it. Call it gut, God, instinct, or just call it a feeling.

We are suspicious, interested, intimidated, excited, angry, frustrated, psyched. You can’t escape your feeling about something or someone.

As long as you are living as a human being on this planet, you will feel. Immediately. Always.

So why be afraid of these emotions? Because of rejection or failure?

Yes, there will be rainy days. You will be crying, questioning your existence and wanting to give up.

But if you don’t give up, and instead trust your feelings with an unshakable faith, just like a tree underwater, you will eventually succeed.

Your feelings will provide you with all the necessary information. You will know what to do, what to rather not, who to trust, who to love and who to let got of.

Trust your feelings and trust your heart.

Don’t trust your brain. Brains try to rationalize things. Brains are society-trained. Brains remember rules and restrictions.

Instead, trust your emotions.
And you will be unstoppable.