Open Topic

Confidence.

Boy, if only it were as easy as it is for me to write it. But being a woman in this society, is extremely difficult. It’s all about how many followers you have, how pretty you look on the outside and basically about how much attention you can get from others.

And if you can’t get it, then basically you are seen as a nobody and honestly, I am tired of seeing this world constantly break beautiful, smart and talented women down every single day. 

Take me for instance, I preach about confidence and most of my pieces come from a place of self-love and although I wholeheartedly believe what I am saying, I struggle sometimes, for days at a time, to believe that I am worth it.

I struggle to feel beautiful, I struggle to feel like I am a queen and I doubt myself when I feel like my photos or my posts aren’t getting the superficial attention that so many of us crave.

I struggle, as a woman, to live in a society where you can be dying on the inside but it is ok, as long as you slay on the outside.

And that is never ok.

It’s never okay because life is short and that is too many damn years wasted not believing you are enough.

It’s never okay because it hurts to live your life searching for validation that was there all along but overlooked by you just because we live in a world of instant gratification and instant acknowledgements.

You are enough.

So, if you are on a quest today to say yes to you and find true love like no other, maybe it’s time to take a break from social media for a while and assess why you post the things you post. Is it for you? Or is it for likes? 

Maybe it is time to actually be single for a while and delay looking for love until you are okay with sitting in the dark, naked, the glare of the mirror bouncing off your floors and hitting you, while you let those tears fall and you declare your love for yourself.

Maybe it is time to let time heal you, because sweetie, God never created you to walk around with your head down, constantly in search of approval from others.

It is easier said than done, I know, but take it from me, you will finally get to the point where you feel confident in who you are as a woman.

It takes time, but it will be worth it.

You will smile again, you will look at your stretch marks without cringing in sheer horror of your humanity, you will kiss your boyfriend, naked with the lights on, and make love to him, pure authenticity beaming from your eyes.

You will eventually love you.

But until then, work on yourself, write love letters to yourself, hold your head high and pray for the confidence that you so rightly deserve.

Do what you feel is necessary to get you to the point where you are ok with you.

Because when you do, I promise you, you will be unstoppable and the world will follow in your footsteps.

They will look at you and see that it is okay to love yourself, even in all your imperfections.

Confidence isn’t something that happens overnight.

No likes, posts, trips around the world to Paris, a man, designer clothes, or any amount of money can give it to you.

It comes from the inside.

It is simply the belief that no matter what and because you are alive, you have been validated.

So, to the woman who struggles with confidence today, you will get there and you will love who you are.

Because woman to woman, we all struggle. And I just want you to know that you matter, just because you are you.

Open Topic

Getting Over A Guy Who Never Was Yours.

It’s silly to feel heartbroken about losing a guy who never thought of you as more than a friend. It doesn’t seem right to be upset at him and to blame him for the pain you’re feeling. It’s unfair to hold him accountable for all your misery. Because he was honest about not being able to commit in a relationship when you met him. He told you upfront that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. He made it crystal clear that there would be no strings attached between the two of you.

But you chose to fall in love with him anyway. You picked him over someone else because you were hoping that eventually he’d appreciate your efforts of sticking with him, and he’d realize that you’re worth the chase. You were positive that he’d change for you and he’d ask you to be his official significant other.

You were willing to wait for him to make up his mind about you…until one day, your world immediately turned upside down when he broke the news to you that he was seeing somebody else.

And you pretended to be happy for him.

You held back the tears that were forming in your eyes. You forced your smile and showed him how proud you were. You wished him all the best, while your whole world collapsed inside of you.

He broke you into tiny pieces without even realizing it. And the worst part was, that you weren’t sure if you had the right to be sad, to cry over him. Because the truth was – he was never yours.

But getting over a guy who didn’t like you back is the same thing as getting over any kind of broken relationship. You need to accept that some things aren’t meant to work out, because they are not destined to be part of your story. They aren’t meant to stay in your life.

You have to believe that there’s someone better who’s coming your way. There’s a love story that fits perfectly for you out there. And there’s a right time for you to meet the guy who’s going to be so sure of you.

But for the meantime, you have to be kind to yourself and give yourself the time that you need to heal and move on. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself because one day, you’re going to forget him. You’re going to find someone who can replace him in your heart. You’re going to feel the love that you deserve. And you’re going to feel at home in someone else’s heart.

You don’t have to feel embarrassed about loving someone who never had any special feelings for you. It’s okay if you became a fool in the name of love. It’s okay if you allowed yourself to cling to a false hope that someone gave to you.

You might think it’s impossible to completely wipe him out of your heart, but after quite some time, you’re going to learn to slowly let him go. You’re going to realize that he’s not worth your attention anymore. And you’re going to learn that there are actually so many guys out there who are better than him.

He is not the only guy who can melt your heart. He is not the only guy who can make you feel weightless. And maybe he isn’t really the guy who’s destined to be your one and only.

Maybe one day you will find your right match, too. And maybe then you will just smile at yourself after remembering the times that you fell in love with the wrong one.