I don’t know where you are, or what you’re going through right now. I don’t know if it will get better by tomorrow, or if weeks have gone by and you’re still feeling as much pain as you felt the moment it happened to you. I don’t know if tears are still staining your pillow, or if you’re slowly starting to pick yourself up and collect the pieces. Whatever is happening right now, if you’re reading this and looking for a sign that you’re doing the right thing, this is it.
If you have a choice to make, greet it with confidence. If a choice has been made for you, accept it with a calm beauty surrounding you. Nothing is set in stone, and worrying yourself with the “what ifs” will only confuse you and distract you from the most important thing in this world: your happiness. Take a breath, attempt to find a moment of clarity, and decide. Is this battle worth fighting? Are you able to change anything about your situation? Are you afraid to be alone? Do you want to be alone? Is this the life you want to live, the person you want to be? These are things questions only you can answer, things that only you can figure out for yourself. Be strong, and decide.
You know what you need, whether it’s clearly visible or deep down, it’s there. It might be masked by the pain coursing through your body, or by the fear of change, but you know what’s best for you. Even though you know what you need, it still doesn’t change the fact that admitting it to yourself hurts like hell.
Honestly, it’s okay that it does hurt. It was important to you, it was something that mattered, so of course you’re going to be in pain. Sadness is underrated. Admitting you’re hurting is viewed as a sign of weakness, but I see it as a sign of strength. You’re strong enough to tell someone that you’re not okay, that you need help. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you brave.
Pain isn’t something that should be hidden. It’s not something dirty that needs to be locked away behind closed doors. It’s not something you should go through alone. Tell your people that you’re hurting. Let them hold your hand and ground you as the feelings and memories overpower you. Find strength through their touch, through their advice, and even through their simple presence. Hold on to them as the tidal wave crashes into you, and let them hold you steady as you recover from it.
Whatever is happening to you right now, I have the utmost confidence that things will work out exactly how they’re supposed to. During this time of confusion, find some new things out about yourself. Read, expand your knowledge on a topic you’re unfamiliar about, have fun with your friends, do something you never would have dreamed of doing. Embrace the new chapter of your life. Fall wildly in love with yourself, with your family, with your friends; you’re never going to find a moment quite like this again. Find what you’re made of, and if you discover that you don’t like the position that you’re in right now, you have the power to change it. You have all the power, always.
I sincerely hope that you find the answers to quiet and calm your your aching soul. Enjoy your journey, and have faith that you’ll find your way again.