I promise that one day I’m going to wake up and you’ll be just an outline of what I used to know way too well. That day, that morning, I’ll finally live up to my promise and my dream to forget you. One day, I’ll leave you behind, I’ll leave you in my past and continue my life as if nothing happened.
That morning, when I get up without you on my mind, I won’t do anything extraordinary. I’ll just crawl out of my bed, hit the showers and walk barefoot down the stairs to the kitchen. I’ll pour myself a cup of coffee and I’ll take a deep breath. There won’t be anything bothering me, it will be just a normal morning with normal me. One that I haven’t had in a long time, thanks to you.
I used to forget time with you and now I’ll use the time to forget you.
I’ll forget how much I wanted you. I’ll forget how I woke up with a desire to talk to you and I’ll forget how I went to sleep thinking of you.
I’ll forget how happy I was when I had you in my life. I’ll forget how your smallest gesture could put a smile on my face. I’ll forget how I’d feel like I’m walking on the clouds after a night out with you.
I’ll forget how for a second I thought I had everything figured out. I’ll erase the perfect picture I created in my mind of how things are supposed to be. I’ll forget that I actually thought you’d be the main role in my life in the future.
I’ll forget how you changed. I’ll forget how you loved me one moment and how you were leaving in another. I’ll forget how your eyes were full of adoration one second and how it all disappeared in another.
I’ll forget how you were kind and how you switched to being cold in a second. I’ll forget how I felt like you are the most amazing person in the world at one moment and how you made me scared in another.
I’ll forget how is it to be yours and how it feels to be in the seventh heaven and in the lowest level of hell at the same time. How I never knew if we’re going to have a good or a bad day, if you’re going to love me or hate me for something that I did.
I’ll forget how you slowly stopped caring about me. I won’t remember how you stopped choosing me and how you started shoving me down on your priority list. I won’t remember how everybody became more important than me. I’ll forget how you started forgetting me.
One day, I won’t remember how I was a mess.
One day, I won’t be a mess anymore.
One day, I’ll pull myself together and I’ll fight the memory of you that’s been dragging me down for far too long.
I’ll forget about you long enough to forget why I need to.
I won’t remember how I was the one that kept being hurt. How at the end of our story, I was the only one that gave a damn.
One day, I promise the only thing I’ll remember about you will be your name. One day, all the memories I have of you will be erased. One day, I’ll crawl out of my bed without a single trait of you in me. One day, I’ll let go. I can hardly wait for that day to come.
I’m looking forward to reading a new chapter of my book where you won’t be neither hero nor villain. I’m looking forward to reading the chapter where you won’t exist at all.