Open Topic

The Death Of Our Relationship Ended Because Of You.

I speak the truth when I say I want you to know from the bottom of my heart how much of an impact you have made in my life. You have changed my life for the better, as I’m now no longer the leading role in your web of lies.

The death of our relationship happened because you simply couldn’t make a change. You simply couldn’t be a man and own up to your own demons—those demons to whom you so willingly lost the battle. You simply couldn’t care for anyone other than yourself.

You decided to end our relationship when you continuously placed your friends and your own wants and needs over mine. Over mine when I would simply drop anything at any time just to make you smile.

I made you my top priority while you made me your least. I would literally be there at the snap of your finger! If I had known what rubbing your lamp would cause, I would have never let that genie out of the bottle in the first place. I would have never continued this never-ending battle with a manipulative jerk.

But, now that you and I are no longer together, I have time. I have time to breathe. I have time to think. I have had the time to realize that it was never me who had all those insecurities. It was actually you.

So, I congratulate you. I congratulate you on losing the best damn thing that ever walked into your life. I congratulate you on making me think it was my own insecurities that failed our relationship.

I want to congratulate you on also being the BEST manipulator there was. You truly avoided any responsibility for your own conduct throughout this relationship. And you avoided it constantly by blaming me in order to deflect the real issue in the relationship—you. So, cheers to you!

As you look in that rearview mirror while you lay in bed at night, I hope I haunt you like you haunted me for so long.

I hope you see what a blessing I truly was in your life.

I hope you realize I made you the best version of yourself while you were with me. I hope you understand there will never be another woman like me to stick around and deal with your bullshit.

I hope you search for those simple yet sweet love letters I left you when you traveled. I hope you search for that care packet I left you because you were always leaving something behind that I knew you needed. I truly held you down through your darkest moments and that’s the most fucked up part of our story.

I hope you realize that loving someone does not mean destroying every ounce of them. I want you to know how much I tried to earn your love. However, it was never enough. I could never force you to love me as I loved you.

I remember feeling so empty, trying to help you fight those inner battles with yourself. I remember trying to show you what love was. I remember being the only girl to have gotten so close to changing you and your bad habits.

I remember once being the girl whom you thought had changed the game. The thing is though, no matter how much I learned lessons through our brokenness, it didn’t matter because you still never internalized the concept of loving someone else besides yourself.

This whole time in our relationship, I was loving you more and more each day despite your bullshit, but you never loved me. You only loved yourself.

Just remember that what goes around comes around. Maybe that’s why you jump from relationship to relationship with each ending being the same? Leaving each woman you’ve played your games with insecure and broken-hearted.

But sweetie please don’t worry about me because I now understand my self-worth and I now know how to spot a narcissist the next time I see him. No longer will I hold someone down like you ever again. So go ahead and have your fun with someone else.

Just remember what goes around comes around. And if karma is anywhere near my side, I’ll be able to watch it unfold as you did with our relationship.

Open Topic

I Am A Strong Woman Because I Was Raised By One.

For as long as I can remember, people around me have admired my inner power.

Some of them were maybe even jealous of it.

Some openly praised me and some did it without me hearing, but everyone who knew me had huge respect for it.

Even my closest friends wondered how I had the ability to always walk through life with my head held high.

How do I always find a way to get up even if I fall and to find a solution for the worst situation?

For years, I was proud of myself for this.

I thought that I was simply emotionally and mentally strong by nature and that I accomplished everything in this world on my own, without anyone holding my hand or showing me the path.

Oh boy, how wrong I was.

There is no doubt about one thing: I should definitely thank myself for being like this as well.

However, there exists one person who sacrificed her entire life and who put all of her efforts in me becoming like this.

There exists one person to whom I owe everything I ever was am or will become. 

And that person is my mother, the strongest woman alive.

Thanks to her, I am the woman I am today.

Thanks to her, I’m ready for whatever life might throw at me.

Thanks to her, I’m not scared or weak.

Thanks to her, nothing and nobody can put me down.

Thanks to her, I know my worth and don’t allow anyone to diminish it.

Thanks to her, I don’t settle for less and don’t let the people who don’t deserve a place in my life to even get one step closer to me.

Thanks to my mother who has always been an incredibly strong woman, I became a strong girl.

And that is a gift which has no price.

You see, my mother never brainwashed me into telling me that I mustn’t allow myself to be weak.

She never talked about what it meant to be a strong woman and how you become one.

Instead, she showed me everything I needed to know through her own example. 

She taught me what is the only way to survive this harsh world by showing me the practical way to do it.

My mother never once told me that I should be ashamed of my emotions or that tears and emotional pain were a sign of weakness.

However, she did show me how to handle them the best way and how to heal myself after getting hurt.

She never tried convincing me that I don’t need a man or that I’m better off alone.

She wasn’t telling me that they were all douchebags who don’t deserve my love and sympathy.

However, she showed me that it was possible to live without a man by your side.

She taught me that losing the guy you care for is not the end of the world and that there is nothing wrong in being single for as much as you want.

My mother never told me that I should be ashamed for allowing someone to break my heart or for making wrong choices.

Instead, she kept telling me that we all make mistakes but that true strength can be seen in the way we correct them.

And that is exactly what she tried hard to teach me: how not to repeat my mistakes and how to learn from them.

How not to give second chances to those who never deserved them and how not to give people a green light to continue hurting me.

My mother never once told me that I was weak if I fall and break.

She never judged me for reaching rock bottom or for allowing myself to be consumed by the pain.

Nevertheless, she did teach me how to get back up, how to pick up the shattered pieces of my crushed heart, how to glue myself back together, and how to turn my deepest wounds into scars which will serve me as nothing but reminders of everything I’ve been through.

She never tried convincing me that I am better than everyone else nor did she try teaching me how to be selfish and egoistic.

However, she has spent her entire life making sure I know how valuable I am and teaching me that settling for less than she deserves is the worst thing a woman can do to herself.

She taught me to always believe in myself, even when others are trying to hold me back; to have self-confidence nobody can destroy, and to only compete with my ‘yesterday self’.

To put myself first and never to love anyone, including her, more than I love myself.

So, yes, according to all standards and definitions, you might call me a strong girl.

However, my inner strength, power, and bravery didn’t appear out of nowhere.

Instead, always have in mind how much sweat, effort, struggle, time, and energy have been invested in me becoming one.

Have in mind that I wouldn’t be half the person I am if it wasn’t for my mother having my back, catching me when I fall, and most importantly, guiding me.