After I was able to pinpoint where all my anger, hate, hurt, and feelings of being unworthy stemmed from, I was able to release it and finally be free. After months and months of prayer, crying, and reliving the horrible past, I found myself in a place of inner peace. Everyone will have their own way of dealing with their hurt and releasing their pain. My way was to write a release letter to each person who hurt me physically and mentally (the abusers), emotionally (the ones who didn’t protect me), spiritually (God because part of me blamed him). I wrote so many letters to so many people letting them know that I forgive them for what they did to me. After I wrote the letters, I burned them and during the burning of them l vowed to release the hurt forever (but that was a lie). I also wrote a letter to myself forgiving myself for hating myself and promising myself to allow my heart, mind, and soul to heal.
That was 4 years ago. Today, I am still healing and allowing myself to love me fully. I have a hard time till this day forgiving those who hurt me, but I have released that hurt to the fire (at least I think I have). I am still consumed with hate and anger but now trying to live a peaceful and happy life. Hopefully someday I can find it in me to fully heal, forgive and free myself from all this anger and pain.
The person I was years ago is not the person I am today…thankfully.