Open Topic

This Is What Life Means To Me.

Life. It’s a true miracle that is really hard (if not impossible) to define with words.

The moment you are born, you instinctively start crying because all of a sudden you’re no longer in your mother’s belly.

Suddenly, your safe haven in your mother’s womb has been replaced with a larger one – the womb of the world.

And as you’re observing all the people around you, you start to think about the purpose of human life. You start wondering about the real meaning of your life and existence of human beings. 

That one question becomes the main occupation of our mind: What is the meaning of life?”

As a kid, I remember constantly asking my parents about things like brushing our teeth, eating, making our bed in the morning, and the like.

I would always ask them: “Why do we have to do this? and I would always get the same answer: “Because we have to. It’s what people do.”

Back then, life seemed to me was like a pile of tasks that needed to be done for no apparent reason and without questioning anything.

As a child, I didn’t comprehend the necessity of doing something that’s boring or doing something only to make your life more complicated. 

Through the years, when I got older, I realized that life is not just a bunch of tasks.

The truth is the following: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” 

Now, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve lived a majority of my life thinking if I buy that one cool T-shirt, I’ll be happier.

If I manage to finish college, I’ll feel smarter.

If I succeed in becoming an artist, I’ll feel more worthy. If I finally find The One, I’ll experience true love and blessing.

The wishes were just piling up and as I would complete one, the next would just pop up out of nowhere.

For a long time, I thought that the purpose of life was all about achievements, goals, and accomplishments.

That it was all about chasing the big things.

But, the real meaning of life is far from that. Now I understand that life is what happens when we are busy thinking about how to accomplish certain things.

Yes. Life is not only the positive things. Life doesn’t only consists of goals. 

Life is crying, shouting, laughing, bleeding, and coping. Life is smelling a beautiful flower when going for a walk.

Life is enjoying a cup of tea or coffee in the morning. Life is crying for someone you love. Life is laughing at the stupidest jokes.

Little things are what make life worth living. Life is cuddling with your pet. Life is eating your favorite ice cream at 3 AM because you can’t sleep.

Life is checking your Instagram account in the morning and laughing with your friends about those funny memes. 

Life is eating healthy food, exercising, and taking care of your well-being.

Life is also eating junk food and not giving a damn about it. 

Life is helping an old man or woman cross the street. Life is sunbathing on a beautiful beach or on the grass in a small, cozy backyard.

Life is crying because your favorite character in the movie or series died. Life is buying groceries (even those you don’t necessarily need).

Life is being stuck in a long traffic jam, getting real hungry, and cursing everyone around you.

Life is an ongoing struggle of blocking Google ads on your computer. Life is enjoying wasting your time because you have no idea what to do at the moment. 

Life is our struggles, silly moments, fun times and those less fun. Life is our everyday life.

Life is what happens when we’re looking for its true meaning and each person gives meaning to their own life.

Life is where you are at this very moment while you’re reading this article. It’s breathing.

It’s kissing your loved one for the first time. It’s even asking yourself that same question over and over again: “What is the meaning of life?” 

Life’s meaning is everywhere around us and all we need to do is open our eyes and start looking, absorbing, and understanding it. 

We often forget that what we do doesn’t make us who we are!

It doesn’t matter if we belong to the lower class, working class, middle class, or upper class – life is not about being powerful or rich.

It doesn’t matter if we’re working as a waitress, if we’re a hairdresser, or the head of the company. 

Life is not about being better, richer, prettier, or stronger than others. Life is not a competition – we often forget that.

We often forget that because we’re constantly bombarded by all those advertisements forcing us to spend more money and play by their rules.

Life is not about that. Life isn’t about chasing prestige, social status, or cool brands. 

The meaning of human life is not about chasing artificial happiness and helping those powerful companies to continue manipulating us and become even wealthier. 

Life is not this worn out sequence: graduating, finding a job, marrying, having kids.

Life is what happens in between these things and it is the process of achieving them. The secret of life is not the pursuit of happiness.

The secret of life is within us.

And the purpose of life is to find the purpose. The purpose of life is to ask yourself: “What is important to me?” and “What does life mean to ME?”

What are the things in life that matter to you?

Do you enjoy spending time with your family, hiking, swimming, doing your job, making your partner feel special? 

The purpose of life is knowing what matters to you, appreciating every second spent on it, and having fun while doing it.

The purpose of life is to enjoy life, find something you’re truly good at, and use your potential to the fullest. And this doesn’t have to be big. 

Life are the things that make us who we are!

Life is getting that uncontrollable urge to burst out laughing with a mouthful of food, all the while knowing that you’d be the one having to clean up the place, so you end up rather choking on your bite to save yourself the hassle.

Life is warming your hands by hugging a hot cocoa on a long, lazy, winter’s day. 

Life is whispering to your partner “I love you,” even though you know they’re sleeping and they probably won’t even hear you.

Life is walking down the street with your friend and making fools out of yourselves by pretending to be foreigners.

It’s being nervous as hell before making a speech in front of a large audience. 

Life is having those deep, emotional conversations, the ones that leave you fulfilled.

Life is the unrealistic dreams that you dream of with your friends at 2 AM somewhere outside on a hot, summer’s night.

Life is that grievous face of yours when you realize that the scoop has just fallen off your cone. 

Life is realizing that some people are just passersby through your life because they aren’t meant to stay.

Life is surprising your loved one, friends, or family with a DIY gift. It’s those weird sayings that no one else but your best friend understands.

Life is the time when you wished you hadn’t said or done something. It’s when you finally pass the test you’ve been studying your ass off for.

Life is taking risks. Life is accepting that you’re not perfect and you’ll never be, and that’s more than okay. 

Life is not giving a damn about what people think of you, but being proud of yourself for who you have become as a person!

Life is not being ashamed of your flaws and quirks, but embracing them with every fiber of your being because they are what make you truly unique and special.

Life is being you! 

Life is loving yourself despite everything – because, at the end of the day, all you have is yourself.

The sooner we start appreciating ourselves as being brilliantly flawed human beings, the sooner we’ll realize what life is really all about!

And that’s what life means to me.

Open Topic

An Open Letter To My Heart.

You see, I’ve spent my entire life doing my best not to hurt anyone.

However, in the process, I forgot about my most valuable possession—I forgot about you, my heart.

Looking at things from this perspective, now I see that you were the one I caused the most harm.

The one I neglected, the one I put last and the one I rarely took good care of.

That is why I’m begging you to forgive me for all the pain I put you through, even though I probably don’t deserve it and even though I know that at this point, you’re damaged beyond repair.

First and foremost, I’m sorry for giving you away so easily to all those wrong people.

To all those people who betrayed you, who played with you, who used your kindness, who took advantage of your vulnerabilities and who kept on crushing you, without ever giving a second thought to the permanent consequences it might leave on you.

Sorry for all the hell I made you go through.

For all the pain, disappointment and humiliation you experienced because of me.

Forgive me for all the battles we didn’t win and for all the pointless fights I should have never put you through.

Sorry for all the injuries I caused you, for all the wounds that damaged you and for every nasty scar I can never erase.

I apologize for forcing you to let in all those toxic and manipulative men who ended up tearing you apart and never cared for you.

For those selfish men who never thought of your well-being and who didn’t give a damn whether they’d crush you into pieces.

I’m sorry for not appreciating you enough, for making you believe that you were too weak just for being emotional, for judging you for being your true self and for not fighting harder for you.

Sorry for not trusting you when you kept on sending me signs to run away from someone who was not good for me.

For repeating the same mistakes over and over again, without ever learning from them.

Please, forgive me for allowing narcissists and psychopaths to abuse you in all ways possible, to abandon you when you needed them the most, just to leave you disoriented and lost.

Sorry for pushing you to believe their empty promises and false excuses and to give them endless second chances.

Sorry for making you settle for less than you deserve and sorry for not seeing your true worth. 

I apologize for not listening to you carefully.

For the fact that I kept following your desires without ever paying close attention to your actual needs.

I’m sorry for rushing you and for not giving you enough time to heal when you obviously needed it. 

I’m sorry for the times when I didn’t see you weren’t ready for another defeat and nevertheless; for putting you through the risk of getting hurt again.

For making you jump from one battlefield to another, without checking if you had fully recovered from your last injuries.

Not only that—I’m also sorry for not allowing you to be harsher on me when I was the one who deserved it.

For not letting you teach me some valuable lessons and knock some sense in me.

Forgive me for not giving you a heads-up, even when I saw that a storm was coming.

For not giving you a shield and for not looking after you.

I’m sorry for not cherishing you.

For not seeing how delicate, sensitive, irreplaceable and precious you are.

I apologize for lying to you and not letting you see the truth, even when I knew it very well.

For deceiving you and giving you hope, even when there was none left.

Most of all—I’m sorry for all those situations in which I was the one who broke you.

For all those wrong choices and judgments I made, without thinking about the consequences of my actions.

I’m sorry for all those times I promised never to crush you again and for each time I let you down and for putting you out there, even when you clearly needed a break.

Sorry for not protecting you, for not having your back and for not taking good care of you.

Sorry for not respecting or loving you enough and for putting everyone else in front of you.

I’m sorry for not knowing and not being better.

Open Topic

A Letter To The Girl Who Survived Narcissistic Abuse.

You’ve been through some rough times. Actually, rough times doesn’t even describe it enough. You’ve been through hell. What you experienced can literally be compared to hell.

Perhaps there are other girls or other women who went through something similar, and perhaps only they can understand you. But someone who hasn’t experienced the things you did can’t even begin to understand what happened to you. You know, what happened to you doesn’t actually resemble anything anyone else ever went through. There will be some similarities between some stories, but there are no two stories alike.

That’s why it hurts even more to try to tell your own story. That’s why your heart breaks even more when they say they understand and then end up blaming you for staying so long.

They don’t understand, how could they possibly? If they haven’t experienced it in their own skin, if they haven’t been in your head, if they haven’t cut your heart open to see what is in it and if they haven’t peeked into your soul to see the amount of fear you were feeling, they can’t possibly understand how or why you stayed so long.

You were convinced you were loved, that getting involved with your tormentor would be the ride of your life. That with him you would get to experience a love out of this world. You were told how you were one of a kind and how you were all he’d been looking for. You were promised eternal love, but all you got was eternal hell.

You never knew what you were getting yourself into. You were hoping for the best, but ended up getting the worst. And don’t fool yourself that you could’ve been smarter or more careful. You couldn’t. Because your heart and your mind were never programmed to notice someone who’s really good at disguising. And your tormentor was excellent at disguising.

He appeared to be this good and caring guy. He did everything right. It seemed to be too good to be true. He convinced you that he was the best you’d ever get and that he truly cared. It was one hell of a play he performed to get you hooked. And once you were all his, he changed.

He didn’t change all at once. He started changing little by little. He shifted one thing at a time because he wanted to get you used to the pain bit by bit, so that once you saw his true face, you wouldn’t be surprised. He had it all figured out. He had his plan long-prepared.

He did everything he could to trap you in his net and feed off of your pain. He knew you’d never leave since you were not that type of person. You never leave those whom you love, no matter how much they hurt you.

You never give up. You’re the type of person who fights till her last breath and that’s exactly what he was counting on.

For so long, you’ve been asking yourself what it was that you did wrong. For so long, you’ve replayed memories in your head to see what else could have been done to make things right. But there wasn’t anything else you could’ve done to make things right, since he wanted everything to go wrong for you.

The worst part isn’t the fact that you couldn’t let go. The worst part is that you struggled even after everything ended. The worst part is that there were still traits of love for him left in you once he was done with you. It took you a while to escape him, but it took you even longer to accept the truth and what you’d been through in order to let go of the feelings that were running wild in you.

But even when you escaped his toxic net, the toxic feelings he had imprinted on you stayed longer than you hoped they would. You continued to apologize for everything, even when you knew there wasn’t anything you did wrong.

You kept thinking that all the bad that had happened was your fault, even when half of the things had nothing to do with you. You were afraid to speak up, you feared showing your emotions or to engage with anyone. The feelings he kept projecting on you while you were together remained long after he was done with you.

Now that it’s all over you still blame yourself, but I promise you that none of what happened to you was your fault. Your tormentor was too sneaky for you to even notice something would go wrong. So there wasn’t a thing you could’ve done differently. Stop beating yourself up about it. It is not your fault.

You need to stop seeing yourself as a victim when you look at yourself in the mirror. Because you are not a victim. You are a survivor. You survived hell. Acknowledge this. Let it hurt and then let it heal.

Okay, you’re a bit broken now, but aren’t we all? Okay, you’re still scared, but aren’t we all a little bit scared? None of this means your story ends here. It’s where it begins. Because the only way to go from the bottom is up.

So stop running from your past. Stop running away from what happened to it. Stop bottling your feelings up and tormenting yourself for what you went through. Be proud that you’re still standing after the hell you’ve been through and don’t be ashamed of your wounds and scars because they are the proof of your battles and proof that you’re a true warrior.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, you only need to be patient enough and it will appear. There is a bright future awaiting you, but you need to stop standing in the same spot and start walking toward it.

Do you know what one famous poet said? He said: “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” You are not broken, you’re full of places where the light can enter. Remember this.

Open Topic

Emotional Progress.

I don’t care which religion you belong to and whether you respect its rules strictly or not. I don’t even care whether you believe in God or you think there’s no such thing as a higher force that rules us all.

However, whether you like to admit it or not, when something bad happens, all of a sudden, everyone becomes more spiritual.

Suddenly, you find a piece of faith deeply buried inside of you that you didn’t even know existed.

Maybe you start praying to God to save you. Praying for Him to help you in these times of troubles and to give you the miracle you need.

Or you might be angry at Him for putting you through all of this. After all, you’ve always been a good person who never did any harm, so you clearly don’t deserve everything you’re going through.

Either way, the point is the same: when you experience some hardships, you find God in yourself.

However, as soon as better times come along, you forget all about your troubles, as if they never happened.

Of course, I’m not telling you that you should forever remain negative just because one bad thing happened to you.

It doesn’t mean you should allow it to leave a permanent mark on your soul or completely change you as a person.

However, you shouldn’t ignore it either. Instead, you should see it as a sign and something to be grateful for.

Yes, you heard it right: you should be thankful for every hardship that hits you.

Grateful for every challenge, every obstacle, every bump along the road, and every closed door. Grateful for every time you run into someone toxic, that someone who hurt or betrayed you.

Thankful for every tear, every heartbreak, and every disappointment. For each time you didn’t get what you wanted and for every failure.

And you know why? Because these are all proof of God’s enormous love.

Yes, they’re all tests of your strength and patience – there’s no doubt about that. However, they are also evidence that He believes in you.

Evidence that He knows that you can take much more than you think. That He knows that you have what it takes to fight off every hardship, win every battle, and overcome every obstacle He puts in front of you.

An obvious proof that He sees all the inner power you have – that He has faith in you, even when you doubt Him.

Most importantly, all of this is a part of God’s bigger plan for you. A part of his mission to push you into becoming the woman He created you to become.

This is His way to force you into becoming a strong, independent woman who can handle a lot. A self-sufficient woman who knows she doesn’t need anyone guiding her through life.

It’s all His way of proving to you that you’re unbreakable and firm. That nothing and nobody can ever put you down.

That you can always rise from the ashes and that no failure means the end of you. Every pain and difficulty you experience is nothing more than God trying to teach you a valuable life lesson.

This is Him teaching you to trust Him, that you’re bigger than every problem, that there is always hope and light at the end of every tunnel.

This is Him teaching you to be brave and making you see there is always something good in every bad situation.

However, all of these hardships are also God’s way of bringing back faith in your heart, helping you understand everything happens for a reason, and teaching you how to accept both the good and the bad.

So, the next time something bad happens to you, don’t see it as the end of the world. Instead, recognize it as a way to reach your full potential.

Instead of looking at it as a curse, see it as a blessing. As a chance for emotional progress – because that is exactly what it is!