The hardest thing in the entire world is looking at someone you once loved with all your heart and realizing sometimes those emotions change. And part of you clings to the relationship blaming yourself for this shift, while the other half of you can’t deny what is in your heart to be true. Here was someone who did everything right, yet there comes a time where you just stop being right for each other.
1. You feel like you aren’t connecting like you used to.
It’s almost like that connection you once had that was so deep is suddenly fading and no matter what you do, whatever that IT is, just isn’t there anymore. And it’s like here you are looking at someone who looks the same and sounds the same but something you can’t explain is just different.
2. Silence is more comfortable than speaking.
It’s almost like you’d run out of things to say to each other. The “how are you?” and the “I love you” seem to be said not from a place that is genuine, but rather obligation, because that’s how it has always been.
And it hurts because you never thought you’d get to this point ever. So you settle for silence because that’s easier than admitting what is actually going on between you two.
3. You don’t miss them when they’re gone.
They leave and you realize you don’t miss them the way you should. And that’s when it hits you something needs to change.
4. You seem to miss the past more than appreciating the present.
You’re clinging to the moments where you fell in love but those words almost feel like a lie now. Here you are doing everything you used to, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. When all you have in common is the past, you realize there might not be a future.
5. You aren’t learning from each other anymore.
You used to do so many things with this person and go so many places. When you were with them, you were learning something new every single day and you loved it. But now you’re at this weird stand still where you’ve learned everything you possibly can from each other.
6. You aren’t happy anymore.
No matter what this person does or how hard they try it doesn’t make you happy anymore. And it’s cliche to say “it’s me not you.” But it really is. Sometimes you are with someone so long you realize you’ve lost yourself in this relationship and you need to find yourself again.
7. You feel like they are holding you back.
And you hate admitting this. But being uncomfortable is a good thing. It means something needs to change. You need to be someone more than just in the relationship with them. While you loved it while it lasted, you can’t help but admit this good thing has come to an end and it’s time you go off by yourself and learn what it is like to be without them.
8. You are fighting more than you’d like to.
Little things that would never get you mad in the past seem to irritate you more and more. It’s almost like you are now looking for reasons to be angry with this person or start a fight. Maybe then you’ll both realize what you know in your heart to be true, that you each are better off without one another.
9. One of you seems to be trying harder.
But what makes it hard, is when one person doesn’t want to give up on the relationship. You look at them with love and admiration that they believe in you so much but you can’t fake what your heart no longer feels.
10. They aren’t always answering.
Maybe it’s you deliberately not answering or you realize they aren’t. Where you used to talk every minute of every day, there’s this silence that seems so loud only no one is brave enough to say what needs to be said.
11. You’d be okay if it ended tomorrow.
If they suddenly called you up and said it’s over, you wouldn’t be upset about it. In fact, you’d be relieved they were the one to say it.
12. Moving on seems like a breath of fresh air.
The thought of being with someone else is something you look forward to in your future.
The thing is, breakups are never easy. Following your heart at the expense of possibly hurting someone else doesn’t feel right. Sometimes you fear letting go and it’s only then you realize you made a mistake. But sometimes you need to grow apart from people if you want any shot at growing back together. And sometimes in the attempt to find yourself again after a breakup, you find someone else who adds all these feelings to your life you’ve long forgotten. Regardless of what side you are on in a breakup, it’s never easy. But sometimes you have to do what is best for you and your happiness, accepting the fact that letting go is the best thing you can do for both of you.