Open Topic


When I meet the right person I don’t want everyone to know about it at first.

I want it to be a part of my life I can quietly tuck away. A part of my life people don’t have to know about. The part of my life I can just have all my own.

I don’t care about being Instagram or Facebook official as long as we are our own definition of what is real.

I don’t need flowers sent to my office that I Snapchat immediately, showing everyone what a good boyfriend he is.

I just need to know he’s good to me and treats me well.

I don’t care if we follow each other on anything at all. Because I won’t need to like something to show I support him and all he does.

I don’t need him to comment on pictures I do post telling me I’m beautiful if that’s something he’s saying every day.

Needing validation through social media shows an insecurity within myself and my relationship.

I don’t need to be texting him every minute of every day. I just need to be confident enough in him and us to know that I’m the only one he wants.

I don’t need a woman crush Wednesday (WCW) to tell me he cares.

I don’t want social media to tell me what my relationship is.

I don’t need others to define it.

I just need to know it’s real for me.

I don’t need to go pumpkin picking and take some basic picture when honestly I hate pumpkins.

I don’t need some picture by a tree in New York that will take up another picture in someone’s newsfeed.

I don’t want to be those people.

I don’t need some kiss at midnight to prove that the person standing next to me is the one I might want the rest of the year.

I just need their time. I need their attention. I need their effort.

I don’t need some social media accessory to get a few more likes because the memories that matter most are the ones undocumented.

Those times where it’s late at night and I’m telling him things I haven’t even said out loud.

Those times where I love you slips out of my mouth and before I can take it back, it’s his to have however he wants it.

Those times when shit hits the fan and he’s the only one who can make it better as I fall apart in his arms.

Those times when I wake up in the darkness and his hand is the one I reach for.

Those times where I wake up late and there’s a note with some inside joke.

Those times where I nervously bring someone home for the first time because I haven’t done that. And he reaches for me telling me it’s okay.

Those times where he can read my body language and knows exactly what to say or do.

When the relationship is real, I don’t need some filtered version of how it appears to be.

I don’t need relationship goals or a series of pictures taking everyone along with us. I just need someone real. I need someone honest. I need something raw.

I need to know love is more than what we’ve made it out to be in a generation where the goal is to be in a relationship.

My only goal is to be in the right relationship. A relationship that makes me better. A relationship that makes me more honest. A relationship that pushes me to become the best version of myself.

And when people look at me and say I’ve changed, the only relationship goal I need, is someone who has made me change for the better.


Open Topic

The Best Girlfriends, Are The Ones Who Are Single.

When you’ve been single for a long period of time, that’s not what scares you. You might make the ‘I’m single’ jokes but in your heart you know that’s not going to be the case forever. Sometimes you get frustrated when another prospect doesn’t work out, sometimes you look at yourself and wonder is it something you’re doing? But you hold onto both patience and faith that your relationship status will change.

But it’s isn’t your priority. In fact, you’ve never understood people who couldn’t do the solo thing. You watch friends relationship hop and you think the only thing worse than a long period of being single, is that. Needing someone and not knowing what it’s like to be alone. That’s what you fear.

You fear someone robbing you of your independence. You fear a relationship taking over your life. You fear watching your other relationships dwindle. Because when you’ve been single for a long period of time, you don’t focus on some status, you focus on the relationships you do have in your life. The idea of losing those people isn’t something you could even bare.

But that’s why people who have been single for long periods of time end up in the best relationships.

They don’t need someone to be happy—

They don’t rely on someone else for their happiness, they know that’s something they have to find themselves.

They only enter relationships when they have something to bring to the table—

The people who are best in relationships are the ones who enter a relationship when they are ready, not when they are lonely. They know the best relationships aren’t the ones that consume you, but rather the ones where you each bring something unique to one another’s lives.

They aren’t clingy—

If clinging to the wrong people in the past and trying to force relationships that were never going to be one, taught them anything it’s that you have to give people breathing room. We think that the girls who are single have some flaw or there is something wrong with them, but that isn’t always the case.

They are honest—-

Being blunt and saying things like it is, is what they are best at. Girls who have been single for long periods of time have smoke blown so far up their ass, they almost have to come out of it laughing. (Well because they spent enough time crying.) They know what it’s like to be lied to and deceived and told everything you want to hear. Because of that, they didn’t turn cold, they became smart. They learned to believe what people do, not what they say. They’ve learned to be honest. These girls will never lie to you. They will never lead you on. They will never keep you in the dark. Solely because they know what it’s like to be there and they never want to make someone feel that way.

Unlike a lot of girls who want you to guess what’s wrong. They don’t play that game. They tell you what’s wrong, they want to work with you through it. In their past, guys have walked away at the first sign of something going wrong. But with them, they fight for you. They fight for the relationship. They believe in fixing things, not giving up on them.

They give you space because they need their own—

When she’s been single for a long period of time, relationships don’t automatically come to the top of her priority list. While it’s a priority, she doesn’t abandon everything else that was a priority before. Girls who have been single for a while, learn about independence. They learn to enjoy doing things on their own. They learn to walk into a room confidently without holding someone else’s hand. They are strong. They are independent. They don’t need anyone, so when they choose to be with someone, understand it isn’t because they need you it’s because they want you.

They know the difference between wants and needs—

This is important because understanding the difference between someone who is actually good for you and someone you want to be good for you is vital. These girls have given themselves completely to wrong people who didn’t deserve it. They’ve given their all to people who haven’t even met them halfway. They look at relationships not in hopes of filling some void, but rather who can add more to my life than I can add to my own.

They learn not to settle—

Girls who have been single for a while learned the hard way about settling. At one time maybe they chose the wrong people, people who gave them bits and scraps of what was left, while they invested their heart fully. From there, they learned. They learned about their expectations and if someone doesn’t meet them, it isn’t their job to prove they deserve his best. They simply move on to someone worthy and appreciative of it.

They learned to play smart—

Girls who have been single for a long period of time pride themselves on not playing games or messing with people’s emotions. But they also learn if everyone else is playing this game and they keep getting hurt playing by their own rules, they learn both the ins and outs of what is dating today. They hold true to their values and standards. They aren’t playing hard to get, they learn to walk around with a chip on their shoulder and standards so high that the person either steps up or they walk away.

They don’t fall fast or hard—

Everyone has this assumption the second you give attention to the girl who hasn’t been in a relationship, she’s suddenly gonna just fall for the first person who makes a pass at her. That’s not the case. She might have been too trusting in the past with whom she gave her heart too, but she learned to take things slow. Earn someone’s trust. Let them prove they deserve your best before putting those cards on the table. In the past, these girls might have overcompensated, but it was through that they learned. They learned they are enough. They’ve always been enough.

They are loyal—

Once you do get them in a relationship you don’t have to worry. Being single for a while makes them value you and the relationship more than anything. They value you. They respect you. Because it isn’t that no one wanted them, but rather it took a while to find the right person. Being single, they learned to be really selective and in that time, they established standards for themselves through every person in the past who fell short.

They won’t hold back loving you—

When someone has been single for a while they have all this good to give to someone who deserves it. In the past, they always gave their best to the wrong people. But finding the right person not only enhances their good qualities, it shows them they weren’t doing it wrong this whole time. 

Because girls who have been single for a while might be bad at getting to a relationship, but they are good at keeping them once they get there.

And when you don’t have something you learn to appreciate finally getting it.