She’s guarded for a lot of good reasons.
A lot of people she let close to her hurt her.
A lot of people she loved didn’t love her back the way she needed.
They took what she had to give with a thank you and a nod and went on their way.
Making themselves feel whole while leaving her to fix herself. But not even knowing where to start.
She learned to trust herself.
She learned to look out for herself.
She learned to watch her steps.
And protect her heart
She learned to not believe the words of boys in the dark. The one whose kiss tastes like alcohol.
She’s learned a lot of them leave.
She’s learned a lot of them backtrack.
Telling her what she wanted to hear until her ears became mute. Her eyes saw everyone jaded. Her touch was everything they needed, but she, herself, the last thing they really wanted. Learning to play this role that left her numb, replacing emotional connections with physical connections, still not understanding how you can feel so close to someone, yet so far away. How someone can learn every curve to your body, but still not know you.
She needs to feel safe.
She needs you to be the one to grab her hand first in public. Because everyone pulled away. There was a time and place for affection, but never where people could see it.
She needs a love that doesn’t leave.
She needs consistency.
She needs someone who will listen to the things she doesn’t say.
Someone who takes the time to learn her.
She needs someone to teach her needing someone does not make you weak because she’s been standing strong alone.
She needs someone who will be patient.
Patient enough to follow her lead.
Patient enough to not pressure her.
Patient enough to wait when she takes off.
But smart enough to know she’s testing you to see if you’ll come after her.
The way she did with so many others.
She needs the same effort she put into everyone else who wasn’t worth it.
She needs someone to be the one to tell her meet me here this time and this day.
She needs you to be the one waiting, even if that means showing up 30 minutes early.
She needs to hear I love you without the word ‘but’ following it.
She needs arms that will hold her when she wakes up in the night.
Someone who needs her too.
Someone to show her vulnerability is not a sign of weakness.
But more than that she needs someone who will stay.
Someone who will make her feel safe again.