I’m slowly learning maybe it wasn’t my relationship status that needed fixing, but rather the relationship I had with myself.
Those relationships with others couldn’t fill the void of the relationship I needed to change with the person looking back at me.
I’m slowly learning that other people’s lack of love shouldn’t have dictated the love I had for myself.
In actuality, that’s where it should have begun all along.
I’m slowly learning to change the critical voice inside my head that doubts who I am, questions what I’m doing, criticizes everything about me. I’m learning to replace that with saying things about myself that are positive. I’m learning to make decisions not controlled by fear, but rather confidence I have in myself.
I’m slowly learning that failed relationships aren’t a reflection of me. That it takes two people to make a relationship work, just as it takes two people to end one. I’m learning to not blame myself for everything. To look at others who walk away and realize they’ve lost something, not me.
I’m slowly learning to believe the nice things people say about me and not just get caught up on the means things I might hear then usually believe.
I’m slowly learning what it means to fall back in love with myself and it’s okay that it’s taken some time.
I’m forgiving myself for not realizing sooner that I deserved the same love I was giving everyone else.
I’m slowly learning to channel all the energy I used to invest in others and trying to make something work into investing that in myself.
I’m slowly learning it isn’t selfish to put yourself before others, because it shouldn’t have gotten to a point where I ever came in second.
I’m slowly learning to ask for what I want in relationships and not just try to play the role of what someone needs.
I’m slowly learning to walk away when someone disrespected me. And it’s okay to have enemies when someone has wronged you.
I’m slowly learning that I don’t need to be the one who fixes every relationship, when I wasn’t the one to ruin it in the first place. That sometimes when you pick up pieces of broken glass with good intentions, you’re the one who gets hurt.
I’m slowly learning to fall back in love with myself, and that means walking away from anyone who doesn’t love me also. That it isn’t my job to try to convince them to.
I’m slowly learning to fall back in love with myself and I’m realizing how much I like being alone.
That in those times I felt lonely, it wasn’t company I needed, but I needed to learn how to be alone and like it.
I’m slowly learning to respect myself. Love myself. Treat myself better than I ever have before.
To look in the mirror and not analyze flaws and things I wish I could change, but rather learning to appreciate everything I am and the person looking back at me.
I’m slowly learning to say “I love you” to myself and realizing what that actually means.
I’m just sorry it took so long to get there.