Or when he begins to wonder who the guy is that you’re with. The one who keeps showing up on instagram.
You haven’t told him yet you’re talking to someone because well, you don’t think you owe him that explanation.
He’ll miss you when you don’t answer immediately and he’s going to wonder why. But he knows you’re probably not sleeping alone these days.
You can’t explain to this new guy the relationship because people who are just friends don’t text each other at 1am. So you ignore it until the morning and maybe even fail to remember to reply.
“Sorry I didn’t answer…” you don’t say more or explain. And he says it’s ok because he’s just happy to hear from you.
In the past, you answered within seconds and you were always the one waiting by your phone. Now it’s his turn.
And you aren’t being malicious, but getting a taste of your own medicine, tastes really bitter sometimes.
He’ll miss you when you make plans, but something came up and you’re the one to cancel like he did so many times before. Only he’s the one that’s hurt by it now.
He’ll miss you when he’s isn’t the one you’re calling drunk just to talk. Because he’s not the one you’re thinking about anymore. He looks at his phone after too many beers and your name is the one he stops at in his contact list.
He’ll miss you when he sees something that reminds him of you only he has to think before tagging you in something.
He’ll miss you when you aren’t his first like because you’re busy not staring at your phone waiting for him like you used to. And no matter how many likes he gets, he wishes your name would appear on his phone.
He’ll miss you when he sends you a snapchat and you open it, but don’t answer.
When he’s driving in the car and that song you made him listen to comes on.
He’ll miss you when something great happens, and he realizes you’re the first one he wants to tell.
Or when something really horrible happens and he realizes you were the only one who ever understood, even if it was something neither of you could make sense of.
He’ll miss you when he isn’t the one you turn to with your with problems that he used to complain about under his breath.
The double texts when he didn’t answer. The paragraphs messages.
Demanding you were clingy and needy and too much at times.
What he’ll realize is all that was, was caring. Maybe you came on too strong. Maybe you were always available. Maybe you made it way too obvious how you felt. But you cared.
He’ll miss you when you aren’t texting good morning every day like you used to, because you’re waking up next to someone who showed they cared without using their phone to do it or send you mixed signals.
He’ll miss you when you stop trying so hard to impress him and he looks at you across the room and realizes without having to try, you’re more amazing than he realized.
And he’s going to hate himself for realizing it so late.
Because even he knows you deserve better.
He watched as you jumped through hoops trying to be good enough and he was the one who made you feel like you never were. Like your presence wasn’t appreciated or valued, but rather a bother. He’ll hate himself for making you ever feel that way.
As he moves on, he’ll miss you most when he looks for you in others realizing they all fall short.
He’ll miss you the moment he realizes you never needed him, but you chose him. And he should have seen the value in that.
And when he realizes this, he’s going to show up at your door at some inconvenient time because he couldn’t take it anymore. He says everything he wished you said sooner. And it’ll be your call to make on where you go from there.