I asked you why you came back and you said it’s because you’re sorry.
I’ve heard that word too many times and I always hear it too late.
I wonder are you actually sorry for what you did or just guilty??
I’ve learned people come back often just to clear their conscious.
I just hate that it has to get to that point.
I’ll always be the first to forgive probably because I blamed myself in the first place.
Even though I took ownership of things that weren’t mine to claim.
Leaving without an explanation.
The relationship ended without a goodbye.
Ghosting and the fade out.
Because when someone treats you well and is kind and doesn’t do anything wrong and suddenly you lose interest, because maybe I was too easy to read.
You knew exactly how I felt and I didn’t make it complicated.
Like confusion is the new art of attraction and love is foreign to so many.
As we pine after likes looking for validation.
When you lose interest in girls like me you can’t explain why.
You don’t want to hurt our feelings.
And most the time you don’t know why yourself.
Something changed, whether it was my fault or not.
But boys tend to avoid awkward conversations.
Rejection without explanation.
Allow silence to speak loudest.
As girls like me stare at our phones like we’ve done something wrong.
And we analyze ourselves thinking we’re to blame.
When in reality, we deserve an explanation.
So we move on without closure.
And learn to forgive ourselves for letting someone too close again.
We get a follow after being unfollowed.
We get a notification of a like.
We get a message.
An apology that doesn’t change what happened.
But here we go again.
Forgiving too quickly.
Because grudges are not our forte.
Falling too fast.
Because no matter how many times we get hurt we seem to never stop loving.
Hoping and praying that this time it might be different.
All I ask is if you come back, please make it for the right reasons.
If you say ‘I’m sorry,’ please show me you are.
If you tell me you care, let’s not make it for the night.
If you think of me and start to miss me, I hope you miss who I am, not what I am as a woman.
If you want me for the wrong reasons, please use someone else.
Because I don’t have much left in me.
And I can’t handle being hurt and disappointed again.
It isn’t just you.
It’s everyone like you.
Maybe that’s made me jaded.
Maybe that’s made me skeptical.
But you have to understand how hard it is.
I wear my heart on my sleeve so carelessly.
In a world that constantly proves I shouldn’t.
I wear long sleeves.
Hiding my wrists.
Constantly pulling at my sleeves.
Hoping no one sees.
Because all it ever does is end badly.
I’m not mad at you, so you don’t have to say sorry.
Don’t waste my time with an explanation just because.
I’ll listen to you apologize if you feel you must.
Even though I’ve heard it before.
But if it’s a second chance you want.
I’ll give it to you.
But please don’t make me regret it.