Don’t let him so easily back into your life and your routine.
Don’t get excited when he starts texting you again and drops lines of saying all the right things.
Don’t jump into this thing and give him your time, attention, and the benefits he doesn’t deserve just because he decided, ‘now is the time I want her.’
You can tell everything about someone by the way they leave. And once they leave, let them go for good.
I’m not saying don’t forgive him or hold a grudge. Because you deserve peace of mind and you deserve an apology. And I know what it’s like to have regrets.
But sometimes an apology doesn’t change what has already happened, and sometimes people come back saying sorry because they feel guilty themselves for what they’ve done. Realize that has nothing to do with you.
Let them live with the guilt. Because you lived with the pain of them leaving. And it probably wasn’t justified or explained. The people who leave abruptly, often come back the same way.
But you deserve someone who doesn’t have to leave to realize they shouldn’t have in the first place.
You deserve someone who isn’t just good at making things up to you after the fact.
You deserve someone who is going to realize your worth. But you have to realize your own worth too and realize you don’t deserve a guy like this.
The guys that linger. The ones who come and go. You know those ones who have mastered the disappearing act only to come back with a nonchalant like or follow. Followed by that message ‘how are you?’ The ones your friends hate. And when you say, ‘guess who hit me up today?’ They already know the answer and don’t like it.
The one who tells you they miss you. They don’t. They miss the way you make them feel about themselves.
The ones who wonder if you’ve changed and test you.
The people who come and go don’t look at you as someone to respect, but a challenge.
Maybe it boosts their confidence you answered.
But the only reason someone can come back into your life is because you let them.
And honestly as nice and forgiving as you are, there are some people who don’t deserve to be let back in so easily.
Maybe you miss them too. Maybe you wonder. But you shouldn’t miss someone or wonder about anyone who isn’t sure of you.
If someone hurts you, they don’t deserve to be forgiven. If someone hurts you, they shouldn’t be let back into your life that fast.
A friend once told me, ‘don’t open doors that took so long to close.’
I know what it’s like to be happy, they came back, and I know what it’s like to think that’s some sign of fade bringing you back together.
I know what it’s like to think maybe this time it will be different. Let me save you a little time and cut you short of the disappointment. These people you run in circles with, will continue to do so as long as you let them.
The outcome is going to be exactly the same. And you’re going to be mad at yourself for falling for it again.
I also believe life gives you a bunch of little pop quizzes that will continue to come up in your life, until you pass them. All he is some test you’re failing every time you tell him it’s okay.
Because it isn’t okay to treat someone like they are an option when I know with a lot of certainties, you’ve made him a priority. That’s why he thinks he can act this way.
Sometimes sorry doesn’t give you the closure you think you need. Sometimes sorry is just a word used to make someone feel better about themselves.
Sometimes sorry starts and ends with the person looking back at you in the mirror and forgiving yourself for letting in those same people who just hurt you every time you give them another chance to do so. You don’t deserve that. And you don’t deserve the pain and disappointment that I know happens every time you let him back into your life.
Insanity is defined by doing the same thing and expecting different results.
You want something to change in your life, stop answering.
When he leaves, give a real taste of what it’s like to live without him because that’s the choice he made.
And when he comes back, try choosing yourself for a change because it’s only then you’ll get what you deserve.