Sometimes I Wonder.

Sometimes I wonder if we dated when you were ready even though I wasn’t?

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I trusted you sooner and didn’t test you so much?

Sometimes I wish I didn’t care about my reputation as much as I did. Because when you kissed me drunk that night, I wasn’t upset. I wanted more, I was just afraid to ask for it.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I transferred colleges like you told me to?

But I needed to know how to identify myself without you being attached to it.

What I found though, was no matter where I wen, you were under my skin and within me. The core of who I was were bits and pieces of you and the person you made me.

Sometimes I wonder if we stopped making excuses where would we be now?

Sometimes I wonder were you actually on your way or were you always going to cancel??

And was I always destined to wait?

With you, I always felt I was waiting on a platform for a train that was never going to come in the first place.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I cheated on my boyfriend that night?

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I told you I loved you when I knew?

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I fought harder?

Sometimes I wonder if things were different would I be the one on the other end of a four-sentence question, I would have said yes to instead of her??

Sometimes I wonder if we never met what would happen? Who would I love? Where would I be now?

But then I remember, everything I am is because of you.

Sometimes I wonder if I even affected you at all and if so, how??

Sometimes I wonder if it could have ever been me?

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