Sometimes I wonder if we dated when you were ready even though I wasn’t?
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I trusted you sooner and didn’t test you so much?
Sometimes I wish I didn’t care about my reputation as much as I did. Because when you kissed me drunk that night, I wasn’t upset. I wanted more, I was just afraid to ask for it.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I transferred colleges like you told me to?
But I needed to know how to identify myself without you being attached to it.
What I found though, was no matter where I wen, you were under my skin and within me. The core of who I was were bits and pieces of you and the person you made me.
Sometimes I wonder if we stopped making excuses where would we be now?
Sometimes I wonder were you actually on your way or were you always going to cancel??
And was I always destined to wait?
With you, I always felt I was waiting on a platform for a train that was never going to come in the first place.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I cheated on my boyfriend that night?
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I told you I loved you when I knew?
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I fought harder?
Sometimes I wonder if things were different would I be the one on the other end of a four-sentence question, I would have said yes to instead of her??
Sometimes I wonder if we never met what would happen? Who would I love? Where would I be now?
But then I remember, everything I am is because of you.
Sometimes I wonder if I even affected you at all and if so, how??
Sometimes I wonder if it could have ever been me?