You treat her the way you do because she lets you. Even though you swore you’d never be like the rest of them.
You treat her the way you do because you know she’s always going to forgive you and give you chances you probably don’t deserve.
You treat her the way you do because the truth is, you don’t value her or respect her as much as she does you and if you did, you wouldn’t treat her like that.
You treat her the way you do because you think she’ll always be there. Smiling and being kind and allowing you to pick her up and drop her whenever you feel like.
You treat her the way you do because it boosts your confidence to know someone like that cares enough about you to tolerate a lot of unnecessary bullshit.
But if she treated you the way you treat her, you’d hate her.
You’d hate her for waking you up in the middle of the night while you were sleeping because she didn’t have the decency to answer at a normal time.
You’d hate her for making plans that she never followed through with.
You’d hate her for messing with your head as much as she does. Even though to you it isn’t some game. But with her, it’s like every move she makes she’s only doing it to see how you’d react.
You’d hate her for making you feel empty every time you pour your heart out and she somehow avoids the subject and diverts it back to herself.
You’d hate her for never taking it a step further than talking, flirting, and touching you like it’s something, but not enough to do anything more about it.
You’d hate her for how she comes to you with every relationship problem. And you try and be her rock, but she always chooses someone else.
You’d hate her because every time she asked you to be somewhere, you’d drop what you were doing no questions asked. But when you ask, it’s always maybes and we’ll see and uncertainty.
You’d hate her because she brings you around and she swears to everyone it’s nothing. And while you’re watching her every move, she’s ignoring you.
You’d hate her because all you want is this chance and she pulls you close just to push you away and you don’t want to admit it hurts.
You’d hate her because of how easily she lets herself drop off the face of the earth then come back it’s like nothing. How she ‘checks in’ so casually like she’s being nice, but really she’s making sure she still has you if she wants you.
You’d hate her because you know she’s using you and taking advantage of you and your kindness and all you’d be willing to do. And she just takes like you aren’t someone of value.
You’d hate her because she likes you enough to bring you around her friends and family and get to know everyone. But she’ll never admit to them there’s something between you two.
You’d hate her because suddenly here is this person taking away any confidence you had stripping you of it and making you feel like nothing.
You’d hate her because while she’s your number one choice, you are just some backup plan when someone else cancels, the person she calls to pick up the pieces.
You’d hate her because when you finally do bring someone around, she’ll get jealous and you won’t understand because she doesn’t want you, but she doesn’t want you to be with anyone else either.
You’d hate her for all of this. Or at least you should. But because you care so much, you’ll fall harder with every antic. You’ll read signs that aren’t there. You’ll drop the word “I love you” in hopes that maybe then she’ll realize how much you care.
The truth is she knows. And while you’ve been clear, she draws blurry lines and eventually, you’ll just get tired of trying so hard for someone you thought was worth it.
Someone you wouldn’t have given up on. Someone you loved unconditionally.
But she doesn’t treat you the way you treat her. Because it isn’t nice and it hurts like hell to be the person on the other end of that bullshit.
But in time, she’ll stop.
She’ll stop being the first to text you all the time.
She’ll stop meeting you where ever you tell her and when.
She’ll stop showing she cares because she has to.
And without wanting to or meaning to, she’ll start treating you the way you treat her.
And you’re going to want to hate her for it. But you can’t. Because she’s treating you exactly the way you treated her and she’ll walk away and be cold, distant, and mean.
And that’s when it’ll hit you.
But by then it’ll be too late. Because as much as she cares and she wanted you at one time, she doesn’t want someone who had to change her into someone who wasn’t just to see her worth and want her back.