When Two People Become Strangers.

Goodbye.

She’s never handled that word with too much grace at all.

I think you knew when you left she’d be the one hurt in all this. Nights where she’d lay there looking up at the ceiling missing you. Wanting to talk to you. Losing sleep thinking it was her fault.

Moments where she’d fall to her knees in a desperate cry because all of this pain suddenly hit her all at once. And you weren’t going to be there for her helping her through what you caused in the first place.

It’s not fair that the person who gets hurt the worst is never the one who deserves it.

You were moving on with your life, and she was falling the fuck apart watching you move on without her.

Handing her back pieces of her heart you knew she’d struggle to put back together like some puzzle she’d never be able to finish because the last piece she gave to you, was missing.

What she didn’t know was it hurt you too. Because you did care, you just don’t anymore and you feel guilty because you are to blame.

She had no choice, but to move on with her life…

You saw her again, only this time she wasn’t alone. Laughing and smiling next to someone you didn’t know. It hit you harder than you thought it would.

Because it was in that moment that girl you thought was weak and needed you, proved she didn’t anymore.

She moved on and you just watched carefully someone else take her hand, kiss her on the cheek, so consumed by him she didn’t even notice you.

And that’s when it hit you what you lost. A love you took for granted. A relationship you stopped valuing. You walked away and gave someone else a chance to love her the same way she loved you.

Maybe you were the one who made the mistake. Because what you saw as someone who appeared weak falling apart as you said goodbye, is standing tall and looking better than she ever has before. Only unlike you, the guy next to her didn’t have to lose her to realize it.

You took a step closer and you smiled slightly, she turned to him and whispered in his ear and took off for the bar. In your head you began to wonder, does she still drink the same thing, and what exactly about her has changed?

“How are you?” she says ever so quietly. It was a peaceful look she gave you not like the one when you last left. You realized she’s not mad anymore or hurt.

What you realize is she doesn’t love you like she used to and that’s what hurts the most.

Small talk makes you realize this person that looks and sounds the same, really is a stranger.

And she walked away and you watched as she left and that’s when it hit you what you lost. Sometimes it’s only after you lose something, and you see them move on, do you realize it was supposed to end this way.

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If He Was A Better Man, It Would’ve Worked Out.

You look at yourself in the mirror and you have to keep saying, “I’m better off.” Because it’s better to be alone than be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you, value you, and constantly show you they care

All of that sounds nice. All of it makes sense. But when your heart is involved, suddenly everything that is rational, goes out the window. When you love someone and care about them sometimes you let them get away with things they shouldn’t.

When your heart is emotionally invested in someone even if it’s not that healthy of a relationship, your heart tends to win over your head.

So you stand there looking at yourself in the mirror, saying over and over again, “I deserve better than this.” Like saying what you know is true will suddenly turn your heart off. But it doesn’t, because caught somewhere between logic and self-worth, is your heart.

When a relationship turns toxic and it suddenly hurts to maintain, you let go of what is, but it’s heartbreaking to look back at what was. You look back at every good moment and every memory when you were so good for each other and it just fit.

Then without even realizing something changed within each of you and these pieces of this puzzle that used to fit together so well, are jaded and broken. And that’s what hurts.

Relationships change as do people and you’re caught somewhere between looking back at what was, looking at your reflection at what is, and not taking it so personally.

Suddenly it’s 2AM and everything hits you, and you’re falling to your knees alone in the darkness missing the ghost of who he used to be and what he meant to you.

And you say it again to yourself, “It’s better this way,” but then you wonder how can something that hurts so badly be good for you?

It hurts to let go. But when you’re holding onto something that just isn’t there anymore, that’s when it becomes toxic to you and destructive to your wellbeing.

You run the other way even in those moments you want to turn back saying to yourself “you have to do this. You have to move on. You have to heal, because you deserve to.”

Sometimes we cling to people who hurt us and that feeling that is unfamiliar, is really you letting go of the pain you didn’t deserve to cling to.

And suddenly it’s 2AM again and you reach for your phone thinking back to every night it was your conversations that kept you awake, not his absence.

Then you begin to realize why it didn’t work out. Because you deserve better than this pain that consumes you.

You deserve someone who is good and kind all the time. You deserve someone who looks at you like they are the lucky one.

You deserve more than someone whose mind changes about you whenever they feel like. Someone who looks for you to mess up just so they have a reason to be mad. A one-sided relationship on someone else’s terms. And all you did was wait and watch, hoping this time maybe he’d mean what he’d say and he’d follow through this time. Remembering a time when he was everything good you could have wanted.

But you see he’s the last thing you need.

You don’t need someone who looks down at you. You don’t need someone who thinks they are better. You don’t need someone who takes you for granted and thinks you’ll always be there without them having to do anything to deserve it.

And you loved him as deeply as one person could love another, but it wasn’t enough for him and you looked at yourself like you were the one not enough.

You miss the good parts. The memories, that you never thought would hurt. The laughter, you didn’t think would turn into tears. The pictures, where you don’t even recognize who he became in the end. The love, you so deeply believed.

It’s okay to miss him. It’s okay to cry over what was a loss. It’s okay to feel these things so heavy.

Allow yourself to feel through these emotions until you rid yourself of them.

But what you have to realize as you look at yourself in the mirror and you’re awake at 2AM overcome by all of it, realize you gave your best, you loved your hardest, and there was nothing more you could have done.

It’s now on him.

The guilt. The pain. The loss. He should be the one feelings those things.

But it’s you because you valued the relationship more than he did. And it could have worked out. If he was kinder. If he was better. And that’s what it comes down to, he wasn’t a good enough man for you and every bit of love you poured into this thing, couldn’t change that.

But the goodbye that broke you will be replaced with another hello and someone who is going to count their blessings, someone failed to love you the way you deserved.

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Loving Yourself.

Change is uncomfortable and unflattering sometimes. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. When you want to change any part of your life it requires you to let go who you were so you can become who you are meant to be.

With those changes, come relationships that are going to end and a certain lifestyle that no longer fits for you. People aren’t going to understand it. People might even resent you for making necessary changes in your life. When you stop living the life someone else wants you to, that makes them feel better about their own, you lose people along the way.

But wanting to make any change is huge. A lot of people talk about choosing a different life yet, they keep living the same mediocre one that makes them feel unsatisfied. Overcome with fear of what they’ll find, they settle.

It’s taking a hard look at yourself a realizing you have flaws, shortcoming, and vices, and not blaming someone else for it.

It’s taking a hard look at your life and realizing everything you have is a reflection of the choices you’ve made and no one else’s.

It’s taking a hard look at what you’ve done and not resenting the past but, realizing “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

It’s taking a hard look at where you want to be and realizing you can get there, it’s just going to take some sacrifices.

It’s looking at your bank account or credit card bill and saying “I’m not going to spend carelessly.” It’s setting a goal for saving and making a point to reach that.

It’s looking at what you do in your free time and if it’s drinking and partying, you have to say to yourself, “this won’t get me where I want to be.” So you pull away. You say “no” when people invite you out. You don’t fall into peer pressure when someone temps you. You set a plan for how you are going to tackle everything.

It’s realizing the days do matter and to make the most of the 24 hours ahead. Not the time you lost or what hasn’t happened yet or how far you are from where you want to be. It’s looking only at the next step.

It’s ending certain relationships not because you don’t love or care about the person, but because they aren’t good for you and they aren’t helping you. And when you cut ties with those people who have always been there, it’s not going to be easy. But some relationships are better at a distance.

It’s taking a hard look at yourself in the mirror, and when you play the comparing game it isn’t going to be, “do I measure up to someone I follow on Instagram?” But, “am I better than the person I was yesterday?” Being the best version of yourself will come without jealousy or envy of others, because you are so focused on you and your goals and the person you want to become.

It’s taking the time to answer the question, “what do I like?” and not just following the latest trend of what everyone else pretends to like. It’s realizing you don’t have to do that anymore.

It’s not about creating this filtered life you have on Instagram and wanting to make everyone else and feel fear of missing out. It’s living such a good life you forget you even have a phone.

You take a step back and focus on what makes you happy and if the thing you are doing every day isn’t fulfilling you, you change it. Because you should look forward to waking up every day.

It’s not getting lost in searching for cheap flights and a vacation you need, it’s finding your purpose that you don’t want to leave and you want to work every day, because it doesn’t feel like a job.

It’s taking time out of your day for yourself. Where silence doesn’t make you uncomfortable. And being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. And in those few moments, you simply meditate or count your blessings. Because when you are leading a negative life, the first you lose is realizing how lucky you are. It’s a positive shift where you realize everything around you is a blessing.

It doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time, but you do have to be grateful for what you have, and not focus on the things you don’t.

When you wake up and there’s something you don’t want to do, like for a run or go to the gym, but you wake up and do it anyway, that changes you. It’s choosing to fill your body with something healthy because pizza might taste good, but you realize you’ll feel guilty after eating it later. It’s about the small choices you make that add up to something greater.

It’s not about smoothies and meal prep and detox. It’s about learning to detox the negative things in your life, whether that be people, hobbies or parts of yourself.

It’s realizing exercise isn’t a punishment, but rather a celebration of the things your body can do.

It’s following that plan and not winging something last-minute because yes, that’s impressive you can, but what’s more impressive is sticking to a plan and following through and not letting yourself down.

It’s being your number one cheerleader, even if you are the only one. It’s looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing you are taking steps towards being a better you. And you’re doing it for you, and no one else.

It’s looking at your story and everything that has made you who you are and taking ownership of it. It’s no longer blaming others and being the victim. It’s no longer playing on repeat the things that have happened that might have hurt or the thing you wish you could change. It’s forgiving yourself. It’s looking ahead now.

It’s looking at relationships, and even if there are endings, you might not understand, and heartbreak you might be dealing with, its understanding that happened for a reason even if you don’t know what that reason is.

It’s putting your phone down when you want to text that person because in your heart, you know you shouldn’t push send even if you want to.

It’s respecting the things you feel instead of repressing it, even if those emotions are ugly. It’s facing these things head on.

It’s learning to let go of things with grace. Because sometimes to hold onto something new and become better, it requires you to let go of something or someone you’ve hung onto a little too tight, even if that’s yourself.

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33 Horrible, But Effective Pick-Up Lines.

1. Wanna go bowling? I thought it might be right up your alley.

2. Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?

3. Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

4. There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

5. You might be asked to leave soon. You are making the other women look bad.

6. You look like trash, may I take you out?

7. Your hand looks heavy, can I hold it for you?

8. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

9. Let’s make like a fabric softener, and Snuggle.

10. My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

11. Let’s make like the Olympic rings, and hook up later.

12. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

13. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

14. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

15. Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?

16. Will you marry me for just one night?

17. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by YOU.

18. If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be McGorgeous.

19. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

20. Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

21. Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling.

22. I’m new in town, could you give me directions to your apartment?

23. I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

24. There is something wrong with my cell phone, it doesn’t have your number in it.

25. Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

26. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

27. What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

28. My name’s _________ Just so you know what to scream.

29. You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!

30. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

31. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

32.If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

33. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!

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