2019 Resolutions.

Leave behind your fears and start running towards the thing that scares you. Because when you start to get too comfortable, that’s when you’re going to end up unhappy wondering if there is something more out there.

Leave behind the past because nothing is going to change there and the more you keep looking back, the more you’ll fail to see what’s in front of you. And you won’t value or even see what that is until you lose it.

Leave behind the hate the resides in your heart and learn to forgive without hearing the words “I’m sorry.” But more than that, learn to forgive yourself too for the things you would have done differently if only you knew.

Leave behind doubt, lack of confidence, and that negative voice that continues to tell you lies. Just because it’s you saying it to yourself, doesn’t make it true. Change the way you talk to yourself. Change the way you look at yourself. Because you deserve the admiration you keep giving others.

Leave behind the things that don’t make you happy. The obligations you think you have to attend. The people you are afraid to let down. Leave behind the guilt you feel for choosing what you want, even if it doesn’t align with other people’s wishes.

Realize this is your life and it isn’t your role to play someone else’s puppeteer just because you don’t like letting people down.

Leave the job you don’t like and stop investing time and energy into something you’ve outgrown. That’s why it’s not working. It has nothing to do with you and your performance, but everything to do with understanding and accepting that maybe this chapter in your life is over. And that’s not something to feel bad about.

Leave behind that relationship that isn’t going anywhere. You know the one where he keeps hurting you, disappointing you, ignoring you, and not giving you what you want and deserve because I don’t think he ever will. You deserve a relationship that makes you happy and better. And you’re never going to find that in the arms of someone from the past or someone who doesn’t respect you enough to commit.

Leave behind these absurd expectations you are trying to obtain that you think will bring you happiness. Because happiness won’t come getting something. Happiness comes when you give and oftentimes you don’t get anything back, but a feeling of wholeness that teaches you there are more important things in life than material things.

It’s great to set a goal and achieve it. If it’s to have that dream house or car or the latest version of something, that’s wonderful you’ve hit financial and career goals to get those things. But when you do finally get them, it’s not going to feel like enough.

Leave behind comparing yourself to everyone else thinking you have to be where they are. You are walking on two entirely different paths and their milestones will be different from yours. You lose track of the path you are walking along when you focus too much on someone else’s. Then you become jealous.

Jealousy means you are looking more at someone else than you are looking at the person in the mirror who deserves your time and attention. And that’s you!!

Leave behind the excuses you are telling yourself of why you can’t do something, because you can. You can do anything you want and you don’t have to answer to anyone if it makes you happy. Learn to put your happiness ahead of others.

Leave behind negative toxic relationships and understand how people like that influence your happiness and well-being.

Leave behind your ex. Because that relationship ended for a reason.

Leave physically if you have to. If you aren’t happy somewhere, don’t be afraid of change, be afraid of your comfort zone and staying in the same place so long you end up resenting it.

And if you want a great love again, stop closing yourself off to the opportunity of it. I know you’ve been hurt, but the only way to heal is to open yourself up and not be so guarded.

Leave behind your phone sometimes. And I don’t mean that metaphorically. Actually, leave without your phone and focus on the people who are in front of you. Your notifications and that text can be answered later. But the people who matter aren’t on your phone, they are in front of you and you never know for how long.

Learn to live in the moment and appreciate everyone a little more.

Leave behind stress, anxiety, and depression and understand those things are a sign something in your life needs to change.

Leave behind holding yourself back because everything in your life is a reflection of the choices you’ve made and if there is something you’re unhappy about, change it.

Leave everything you don’t like in 2018. And let 2019 be the best year you can have.

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The Best Relationships.

The best relationship of your life will come very unexpected. You know when you swear off relationships and you don’t want to meet someone right now.

That night where you contemplate staying in, but your friends force you out. Suddenly you’re talking to someone and you don’t think much of it at first. Another conversation you’ll forget and another person whose name won’t matter.

But then you realize how different they are. You realize quickly this could be something. That certainty frightens you a bit.

Next thing you know, you’re walking hand in hand with someone who was once a stranger.

You’re going on dates and you forgot what it was like to be nervous around someone.

All of it happens quickly before you even have time to doubt it or question it.

The best relationship of your life will be with someone who meets you and wants to commit, because they don’t want you to be with anyone else and they don’t want to miss their chance. Someone who looks at you and sees a future in your eyes.

They become part of your routine and you almost forget what your life was like without them.

You’re waking up next to this person and you’re appreciating the little things. The five more minutes in bed. Every good morning. Every night where you sleep a little better knowing they are there.

It’s the corny songs that start to make sense you used to skip. The books you start to read because they told you too. The foods you start to try because they told you to. The shows you watch you probably never would have before them. The things you start to do that never interested you, but because it’s something they like and you want to give it a try.

It’s the friends you start to meet that become your own. It’s the family that made you nervous at first then they become your own.

It’s the life you start to share. The holidays that are a little better when you have someone to share it with.

It’s the exes you ignore when they come lingering. It’s the past you now can escape because you’ve found something better.

It’s the fights that teach you not only things have to end so badly. But those things are what make a relationship stronger.

It’s the sacrifices you make because their happiness is as important as yours.

It’s watching yourself become a better happier person because they are in your life and everyone can see you’ve changed for the better.

It’s achieving your goals because when you have someone rooting for you and believing in you, you start believing in yourself.

It’s the little things they take the time to notice about you. What you like, what you don’t. What makes you smile a little bigger.

The person who takes your hand without asking and pulls you close and whispers things in your ear like it’s a language all your own.

The one who makes you laugh until it hurts. The relationship that’s fun. And it doesn’t matter what you are actually doing it just matters that you are doing it with them.

The best relationship of your life will be with someone who surprises you often. Someone who never stops trying to prove they deserve you. Someone who reminds you every day that they appreciate you.

The best relationship of your life will be with the person who admires everything about you, even your flaws. The ones who build you up that you learn to love yourself a little more.

It’s going to be with someone who isn’t repulsed by romantic gestures because when it’s for the right person, any man can turn into a hopeless romantic.

The best relationship of your life will come without envy, jealousy, or lies because you’d trust each other with your life. But more than that, you trust them with your heart and you know it’s going to be okay this time.

You trust them with your secrets and your real uncensored opinions.

They learn your quirks and habits and learn to live with all of it.

The best relationship of your life will be with the person who learns every side to you and accepts it.

The unconditional love that makes it worth it.

And you feel like for the first time this person is everything you’ve been looking for, and everything you’ve been missing.

When the words “I love you” sound a little sweeter.

The best relationship of your life will teach you why the other ones weren’t, and you’ll find yourself counting your blessings for endings that used to make you cry.

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Learn That…

Learn that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you can’t change someone to make them right for you.

Learn that sometimes the people we want most are the ones we are best without.

Learn that sometimes instead of trying so hard, it’s best to just walk away.

Learn to stop dwelling in the past

Learn that sometimes it’s better to just go home alone.

Learn that texting, snapchats, and instagram likes aren’t standards to gauge someone’s interest, but rather a distraction.

Learn that it’s about what someone does and not what they say they will do.

Learn to trust yourself a little more. And when red flags are waving, you shouldn’t ignore them.

Learn to not give your all right off the bat because not everyone deserves your best.

Learn to ask for what you want and if someone doesn’t give it to you, you shouldn’t change the question, but change the person you’re asking.

Learn to ignore those texts from ghosts of the past and not let them back into your life so easily.

Learn that even though you might want to talk to someone you shouldn’t always be the one starting the conversation.

Learn that relationships will never come from places where slurred words are common dialogues and things get easily forgotten with alcohol that taste bitter going down your throat.

Learn that if someone wants to be with you, they will make it happen.

Learn that someone else’s confusion and mixed signals you try to decipher aren’t a reflection of you, but someone else’s inability to see your worth.

Learn that your friend’s really do have your best interest at heart and if they don’t like someone, you should trust them more than you trust yourself.

Learn that you don’t have to play the role of a friend just because it’s easier and less awkward for them if it hurts you.

Learn that friends with benefits isn’t actually a thing, but really disrespectful.

Learn to walk away from the relationships that aren’t what you want them to be and understand they never will be.

Learn that it isn’t your job to boost someone’s confidence and ego.

Learn that just because you have a history with someone doesn’t mean you have a future.

Learn that you didn’t deserve the pain you endured, but you are in part responsible for it.

Learn that if you want others to respect you and love you, you have to start respecting and loving yourself first.

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The Difference Between A Boy & Man.

Boys will keep you guessing with lingering questions. The games where you don’t know where you stand. The ones that come and go like their exit isn’t anything that should faze you. The late night calls you shouldn’t answer. But there’s just something about the person you can’t have. And you hate yourself for it.

But a man will tell you exactly how he feels and what his intentions are. The type of person who has grown out of the hookup phase and isn’t afraid of commitment and looking for something real.

Boys will tell you they aren’t the relationship type right off the bat to justify what might be mistreatment later, then they use the excuse that you aren’t dating and they don’t owe you anything.

A man knows the right woman when he meets her. And he might not say it off the bat, but he’s thinking, ‘can she be the one I spend the rest of my life with?’ Because that’s what he’s looking for.

Boys shut down any conversation of the future. Because the truth is, they don’t see you a part of theirs.

A man will tell you about dates in the future and plan things ahead of time because if you’re in the picture, he’s thinking long-term.

Boys will tell you, you can meet their friends and family one day but the truth is, they have no intention of you ever meeting them.

A man brings you around to meet important people in his life quickly. He doesn’t want to keep you a secret because when you meet the right person, you want everyone to know about it.

Boys will test you and see how much they can get away with. This comes in the form of blurry lines getting redrawn and rewritten. They test you emotionally and hurt you more often than not.

A man tests you only in the sense of pushing you past your comfort zone and to achieve more. The goals you have, he believes in. The things you want to do, he’s going to be there supporting you.

Boys will put minimum effort into the relationship, enough to keep you around and answering.

A man will meet you halfway and never make you feel like you have to try too hard to keep their attention because honestly, they care more about trying to keep yours.

But the greatest difference between a boy and a man will always come down to one thing, how they leave and the ones who choose not to.

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You’d Hate Her If…

You treat her the way you do because she lets you. Even though you swore you’d never be like the rest of them.

You treat her the way you do because you know she’s always going to forgive you and give you chances you probably don’t deserve.

You treat her the way you do because the truth is, you don’t value her or respect her as much as she does you and if you did, you wouldn’t treat her like that.

You treat her the way you do because you think she’ll always be there. Smiling and being kind and allowing you to pick her up and drop her whenever you feel like.

You treat her the way you do because it boosts your confidence to know someone like that cares enough about you to tolerate a lot of unnecessary bullshit.

But if she treated you the way you treat her, you’d hate her.

You’d hate her for waking you up in the middle of the night while you were sleeping because she didn’t have the decency to answer at a normal time.

You’d hate her for making plans that she never followed through with.

You’d hate her for messing with your head as much as she does. Even though to you it isn’t some game. But with her, it’s like every move she makes she’s only doing it to see how you’d react.

You’d hate her for making you feel empty every time you pour your heart out and she somehow avoids the subject and diverts it back to herself.

You’d hate her for never taking it a step further than talking, flirting, and touching you like it’s something, but not enough to do anything more about it.

You’d hate her for how she comes to you with every relationship problem. And you try and be her rock, but she always chooses someone else.

You’d hate her because every time she asked you to be somewhere, you’d drop what you were doing no questions asked. But when you ask, it’s always maybes and we’ll see and uncertainty.

You’d hate her because she brings you around and she swears to everyone it’s nothing. And while you’re watching her every move, she’s ignoring you.

You’d hate her because all you want is this chance and she pulls you close just to push you away and you don’t want to admit it hurts.

You’d hate her because of how easily she lets herself drop off the face of the earth then come back it’s like nothing. How she ‘checks in’ so casually like she’s being nice, but really she’s making sure she still has you if she wants you.

You’d hate her because you know she’s using you and taking advantage of you and your kindness and all you’d be willing to do. And she just takes like you aren’t someone of value.

You’d hate her because she likes you enough to bring you around her friends and family and get to know everyone. But she’ll never admit to them there’s something between you two.

You’d hate her because suddenly here is this person taking away any confidence you had stripping you of it and making you feel like nothing.

You’d hate her because while she’s your number one choice, you are just some backup plan when someone else cancels, the person she calls to pick up the pieces.

You’d hate her because when you finally do bring someone around, she’ll get jealous and you won’t understand because she doesn’t want you, but she doesn’t want you to be with anyone else either.

You’d hate her for all of this. Or at least you should. But because you care so much, you’ll fall harder with every antic. You’ll read signs that aren’t there. You’ll drop the word “I love you” in hopes that maybe then she’ll realize how much you care.

The truth is she knows. And while you’ve been clear, she draws blurry lines and eventually, you’ll just get tired of trying so hard for someone you thought was worth it.

Someone you wouldn’t have given up on. Someone you loved unconditionally.

But she doesn’t treat you the way you treat her. Because it isn’t nice and it hurts like hell to be the person on the other end of that bullshit.

But in time, she’ll stop.

She’ll stop being the first to text you all the time.

She’ll stop meeting you where ever you tell her and when.

She’ll stop showing she cares because she has to.

And without wanting to or meaning to, she’ll start treating you the way you treat her.

And you’re going to want to hate her for it. But you can’t. Because she’s treating you exactly the way you treated her and she’ll walk away and be cold, distant, and mean.

And that’s when it’ll hit you.

But by then it’ll be too late. Because as much as she cares and she wanted you at one time, she doesn’t want someone who had to change her into someone who wasn’t just to see her worth and want her back.

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