Have Faith In God.

When you can’t sleep because you’re overcome with the guilt of something you might have said or done wrong, know He forgives you and it will be okay. But you need to forgive yourself.

When you’re looking at your phone wondering why someone hasn’t answered and you’re replaying scenarios in your head and driving yourself crazy, know He’s testing your patience. Know He is trying to teach you to be calm.

When you’re overcome with the anxiety of things you can’t control, give Him your problems and let him take care of it. Because these things you think you can’t handle He can, so let him.

When you’re overcome with the fear of someone leaving, understand He puts people in your life for a reason and the right people who are meant for you will stay.

When you’re fumbling for the right things to say and afraid of what to do, look for signs because He will guide you. He will protect you. He will make sure everything is okay in your life.

When you wake up and you’re anxious, shaking overcome with a feeling you’re about to lose something or someone and you want to blame yourself, blame Him because he can handle it. Be angry at him, not yourself. Be frustrated with Him, not you. Put it all on Him and let him carry the weight of everything you carry so heavy in your heart.

When you anticipate something bad that is about to happen or possibly could, understand He’s trying to teach you to enjoy the moment. Not to dwell on a past that can repeat itself or a future that is uncertain, He wants you to live for now.

When you’re standing there nervous at a party, fidgeting with your ring or trying to appear busy as knots in your stomach take over your entire body watching everyone around you, know He will never let anything that bad happen to you and it will be okay.

When you wake up at 3am and you’re struggling to fall back to sleep, understand He hears you. Your fears. Your doubts. Your insecurities. Your hopes and every desire.

When your thoughts make you feel like you’re drowning and you want to fall apart and you feel like you’re alone and no one understands. Know He gets it.

When anxiety becomes that critical voice that tries to take you down, picking apart every flaw you might have, know even in those moments you don’t love yourself, He does.

When you almost ruin relationships before they even begin, know He has someone better for you who will accept this and understand this and love you the way you deserve.

When you think anxiety is your greatest flaw, know the root of it is caring. He gave you a heart that cares a little too deeply and a head that thinks too much, because to feel things like that really is a strength of yours, you should be proud of.

When you think there is something wrong with you, know He made you this way for a reason.

When you think you have to be perfect and strive for these unrealistic expectations killing yourself to try to achieve things, know He’s proud of what you’ve already done.

When you create problems that aren’t actually problems anywhere else, but in your head know He is with you feeling through this too and you aren’t as alone.

When you begin to doubt yourself and everything you are, know He’s confident in you.

When that voice inside your head tries to take you down and destroy you, put your faith in Him, because the Devil disguises itself in many forms, wanting to make a home within your heart hoping you self-destruct. Don’t let that happen.

When you doubt yourself and the choices you make, don’t doubt Him, because he has a plan for you.

When these battles within you feel like they are too much to bear, understand you aren’t fighting alone and He is with you.

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Come Share Your Blog!

Phoebe, MD: Medicine & Poetry

Dear friends,

Now that most of us are happily stuffed with Thanksgiving goodness, I invite us all to come together for another friendly Meet & Greet! If you have never participated, this is simply a chance for you to connect with and get to know other bloggers in this lovely WordPress community. The guidelines are simple:

  1. Leave a comment with a brief description of your blog along with a link to your blog.
  2. Take a minute to visit some of the other blogs listed in the comments
  3. Feel free to share or reblog this post to spread the word.
  4. Bookmark this post and revisit as many times as you would like to see who else has joined the party

Remember, one of the best things about the blogosphere is being able to connect with other bloggers…and one of the best ways to do that is simply to visit the blogs…

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Letting Your Guard Down.

It’s looking at this person and not blaming them for the past and the things that hurt you even though you fear the future.

It’s learning to take things slow this time and not getting ahead of yourself.

It’s looking at the relationship and even though you’re scared, you still take a chance on it.

It’s every anxiety and every nerve that makes you want to break down and cry and learning how to talk about what you’re feeling and not repressing it.

It’s smiling as you look at someone and terrified of what you’re feeling, because happiness is so foreign to you.

It’s wanting to take off but standing completely still, because maybe this could be different.

It’s learning how to sleep through the night next to someone when you’ve spent alone for so long.

It’s giving up a bit of your freedom and a life you used to lead because maybe this is exactly what you need, even though you aren’t used to it.

It’s thinking about your exes and the pain within your heart and suddenly letting it go, even though you don’t know what it’s like to live without it.

It’s forgiving people who aren’t even sorry because you deserve to be happy. And you don’t deserve to keep blaming yourself for why things ended.

It’s learning to be grateful for the past because it’s led you to this new person.

It’s trusting someone and letting them in when you want to push them away, but they don’t let you.

It’s not fearing the word “goodbye” because you know you’ll see them again when everyone else always left you wondering.

It’s telling them your secrets and being vulnerable, even though that vulnerability might bring you to your knees crying. There is a sense of relief just letting everything you hold onto so tightly go.

It’s being brave enough to admit how you feel when you’ve carefully hidden your heart behind this guarded wall pretending you don’t care.

It’s being brave enough to let someone in when the last person blew your heart to shreds and you wondered if you were even capable of feeling anything ever again.

It’s the butterflies when you see their name appear on your phone.

The smile that comes across your face when you see them walk closer.

It’s taking their hand and giving them your heart and hoping, and a level of trust that’s new to you.

It’s giving your best in this new relationship because they deserve it and you refuse to let anyone in your past influence something right now.

It’s ignoring those texts that come in at odd hours from people who suddenly miss you, but what they miss is your attention.

It’s realizing how much better you have it now.

It’s watching yourself fall for this person and not being so afraid anymore.

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What We Got Wrong About Modern Dating.

If you asked me what the problem was, I think it comes down to fear.

We fear giving up our freedom and options, so we never commit.

We fear getting hurting, so we never take a chance on really loving someone.

We fear rejection, so we don’t even try anymore.

We fear pain, so we carelessly relationship hop, hurting one another before they beat us to it.

The want and need for immediate gratification lead to us giving up on people a little too quickly. Looking for flaws and any sort of shortcoming that will give us an excuse to walk away instead of trying harder.

What a lot of people don’t realize is initially you are going to see every difference at first. We are programmed to do that. But in time you learn to love those flaws. But all of those things take time and chances. A fair chance that people aren’t giving each other anymore.

Because if one message leads to an unmatch and your response is to look at yourself and what you said wrong, you are focusing on the wrong thing and that isn’t the right person, even if you were to say the right thing. And if you are overcome with fear of saying one wrong thing, you’ll never be able to truly be yourself.

I’m all for dating apps and trying them out, I just think people are going into them with the wrong mindset.

You download a dating app and you’re suddenly afraid to say you want a relationship.

You download a dating app and you’re suddenly afraid to say I want a real date.

You download a dating app and you’re expected to just want a hookup. But people aren’t programmed to just hookup.

You’ll always feel empty engaging in physical relationships if you don’t even try to form an emotional one.

We aren’t getting what we want in relationships because we are too afraid of asking for it, so we settle for things that look and feel like it could be the real thing and we get disappointed when we aren’t met with what we didn’t ask for.

It’s okay to want a relationship in a generation that shames most people for even saying that.

Dating is calling her, actually picking up the phone and calling her on a Monday to see if she’s free on a Friday and if she says yes, you make a reservation.

Dating shouldn’t be just meeting up for drinks. It’s having an actual meal together without looking at your phone. It’s seeing if you can hold a conversation, and if you enjoy each other’s company.

Dating isn’t some meetup that’s casual. Dating is getting in your car and picking her up and driving her home and telling her you had a good night, then texting her when you’re home safely thanking her again.

Dating shouldn’t be playing hard to get, and waiting to answer being too afraid if you responded too quickly, it should be answering right when you see it and when you can because if you are confident in yourself, you’re not going to care what someone might think of you.

Dating today has become this game of robbing each other’s confidence and seeing who cares less, because for some reason those people are getting the upper hand.

We’ve grown to fear rejection so much we swipe through our phones on a night out instead of going up to someone we find attractive and going for it. We turned into a generation that needs validation and confirmation before we act. That takes away the fun part of dating. And the fun part of dating is taking a chance on someone when you aren’t sure, but it feels right.

Dating isn’t if they blow up your phone and text you all the time and tag you in shit. It’s not getting excited because they liked your Instagram post or looked at your story.

Those things are just a distraction and a tool used to confuse one another, and we all fall for it. The right relationship isn’t going to be on your phone, it’s going to be the person standing next to you in real life making you feel good and secure.

Dating isn’t some late night text you send when you’re out with your boys and you didn’t seal the deal with someone else so you text the girl you kind of sort of made plans with, but didn’t confirm hoping she’ll meet up later.

Dating is going into a night and knowing where you’re going to wake up tomorrow and that you want it to be with just one person. It’s shutting down anyone else that hits on you because you’re flattered, but you already have it great.

It’s not rushing to get out of there in the morning milking a hangover. You are going to enjoy being there with them because there isn’t anyone you’d rather have next to you.

Modern dating today fills everyone with anxiety, doubt, and confusion when in reality you should be standing next to someone you are sure of.

Dating isn’t some passive aggressive post you hope they see and take the hint. Dating is addressing the problem if there is one and finding a solution.

Dating isn’t the WCW (woman crush Wednesday) and needing that and a hundred likes, it’s being so sure of the other, you don’t need that.

Dating isn’t some relationship with blurry lines and something that isn’t labeled, wondering if you can post that picture or not. Dating is not even having to ask the other person in the first place.

Dating isn’t keeping your options open its meeting the right person and committing to them, because none of us should be afraid of commitment.

It’s meeting the person’s friends and family when they already know about you and they are excited to meet you too.

It’s sharing in vulnerable moments because that’s what forms emotional connections. It’s realizing vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness, but essential.

Dating is realizing how different sex actually is when you’re sharing it with someone you care about, and not just doing it because that’s expected when you go home with someone you don’t even know in the first place.

It’s realizing casual relationships aren’t what you want and it’s okay to start asking for what you do.

It’s not analyzing your reflection or fixating upon what you say because if someone is going to judge you that quickly, then that’s on them and it’s their loss they didn’t take the time to get to know you.

It’s meeting someone and not being afraid of telling them “you make me happy.” ” I’m really glad I met you.” “I’m enjoying this, and it feels right.”

Relationships are supposed to be so much easier than we are making them out to be.

It’s realizing how childish it is to mess with one another just because someone has hurt you, confused you, or left you in the dark.

It’s rising above that and making a choice to date differently than what has become modern normal dating.

Dating is complicated enough without making it any harder for ourselves.

Stay honest. Stay genuine. Date in the fashion representing the relationship you’d like to have in your life, don’t date fearfully lowering your standards just because no one else knows how.

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Find Someone Who…

Someone who understands you’ve had a lot of pain in your life, but doesn’t hold it against you. Instead, they try to understand wanting to learn about even the hard parts of your life.

Someone who teaches you, you didn’t deserve some of the things that happened to you.

I hope you find someone who takes the time to learn you and break down every wall.

I hope you find someone who is patient. Someone who doesn’t give up on you or ever stop trying. Someone who stands still when you walk away, because they know what it’s like to be scared too.

I hope you find someone who wants to make you happy. Make your life easier. Someone who teaches you love, and pain isn’t something that coexists.

I hope they are someone who answers your texts quickly and never makes you wonder how they feel or makes you question yourself.

I hope you find someone who goes out of their way for you just to make you happy.

Someone who challenges you, pushes you, and sees potential in you, you don’t see in yourself. I hope they are someone who believes in you.

I hope you find someone who grabs your hand eagerly introducing you to their friends and family. Even though everyone already knows about you.

Someone who smiles at you across the room like you two are the only ones there.

I hope you find someone who really makes you believe you are the best thing that’s happened to them lately.

I hope they are someone who learns every flaw and every vice and still thinks you are perfect in their eyes.

I hope you find someone you have funny stories with and inside jokes. You look at each other smirking, because you two know something no one else does.

I hope you find someone who makes you laugh so hard you forget what pain ever felt like.

Someone you stand next to as you run into an ex and the past suddenly doesn’t hurt anymore.

I hope you find someone who loves you with all of their heart, because that’s what you deserve.

I hope you find someone you wake up next to at 2AM when you used to only settle for texts.

The person who changes the songs you listen to, because the corny ones about love start to make a little more sense.

I hope it’s a relationship that sets this standard you wondered could even exist. Someone who makes you believe in love and good relationships again.

I hope you find someone who actually deserves you, because when you find them, you’re never going to look at yourself the same way and you’ll never settle after that.

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