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This Is What I’d Tell Her About The Guys She Tries A Little Too Hard For…

Effort. It’s something that comes very naturally to girls like you. You constantly think about others like it’s easy. Born with a heart you wear a little too carelessly on your sleeve hoping maybe this time you’ll get it right. Believing in love when I know you’ve gotten hurt more than most.

Giving people more chances than they deserve because you believe in people’s good parts, even if they show you their bad sides and hurt you sometimes. You wear pain very comfortably, like it’s something you’re used to.

Another disappointment. Another letdown. Another ending with the words goodbye not even uttered. Another day looking at your phone wondering what you said or did wrong analyzing your reflection. Because there were moments it seemed so right and you were so sure.

It turned into just another story you’ll soon forget. Another name on a list of someone who wronged you. And you aren’t angry. Just confused really.

You carry on being even more wary, fearfully stepping towards anyone. Caught somewhere between your belief in love and doubt.

You wonder if it’s you or the people you’re choosing.

Sometimes people think you are weak for taking the worst of people and painting it into something beautiful. Seeing the beauty in their cracks. Seeing potential in moments of vulnerability where you almost get through. Moments where you don’t give up on them or walk away because you want to prove to them someone cares.

You want to give them something to believe in.

The cost of loving people the way you do is hurting yourself sometimes. They take everything you give without reciprocating it. Take pieces of you with them as they come and go like you’re someone who will always be there.

You invest your whole heart into relationships whether the people deserve it or not, because that’s who you are.

In return, cancelled plans become the reality. Sitting by your phone waiting for him to answer. Dressed up and ready to go, wondering if he’ll be there on time.

Another excuse and another lie you shouldn’t get used to, but you do. Another rain check because something came up, even though he doesn’t tell you what it is.

Another night alone wondering why you aren’t good enough to get his time and attention.

And you keep trying. You keep putting in effort.

You keep starting conversations just happy he answered. Happy he liked another photo you posted. Happy he looked first at your story. Taking every little bit of what he gives and wanting it to be enough. These dating games that make you confused because it seems like he cares sometimes, then he pulls away the next. Dropping in and out of your life like he can.

But, you feel it in your heart the pain of settling. And instead of walking away, you try harder. Instead of pulling back effort hoping he’ll meet you halfway, you go all the way and he doesn’t have to do anything. Putting thought into gestures thinking maybe he’ll change his mind about you.

Watching yourself fall faster as you invest more of yourself into this thing.

I know what it’s like to care about someone so much you almost lose yourself to it and you don’t want to walk away or give up. But sometimes walking away from the person you want most is what leads to someone you deserve.

You give these guys a million chances when the right person only needs one.

You emotionally invest so much of yourself you feel empty when the right person will always make you feel whole.

You try like your best isn’t good enough and you have something to prove, but the right person is going to adore you even at your worst.

Your effort is admirable.

Your heart is something everyone should value more, including yourself.

Because people like you are so rare and just because the people you choose to care about don’t see your worth it, does not mean your value decreases.

Walk away when something and someone becomes a little too difficult. Because relationships aren’t supposed to be that hard, but for some reason they are with you.

It isn’t your fault so I need you to stop blaming yourself. You aren’t doing anything wrong. You aren’t saying anything wrong, understand the people on the receiving are wrong for you, and that’s the difference.

But it’s up to you to realize that.

The relationships that don’t deserve you are always going to feel like the complicated ones. The ones you have to compromise your self-respect for. The ones that drain you emotionally. The ones that confuse you.

Walk away. Even if it kills you to do so. Because if these guys aren’t realizing your worthwhile you stand 5 feet in front of them doing as much as you do, make them realize it in your absence.

Sometimes people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone. And you’re always going to be that girl people miss. The girl people look back at regretting. The girl they remember tried so hard, but eventually stopped.

You deserve to be missed, and trust me they all will miss you. But more than that, you deserve to be valued by the person who doesn’t have to lose you to see your worth.


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Believe Good Guys Still Exist.

Believe that good guys still exist.

The ones that take you on proper dinner dates. From picking you up to driving you home. The ones who reach for the bill first. The ones who open your doors and pull out your chair. Who stand when you excuse yourself from the table.

Believe that good guys still exist.

The ones who walk on the outside of the sidewalk. Then tell you to be careful when crossing. The ones who actually walk around with a handkerchief. And send flowers to your office.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who don’t want to play games or mess with your head, but answer your texts immediately regardless of the time. The ones who don’t mind talking on the phone.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who want to meet your family and want you to meet theirs. Who don’t care how long they have to travel to see you. They do. The ones who keep their word and remember little details. They are the ones who enjoy seeing you as much as you like seeing them.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who support you and your dreams and goals. The ones who take the time to learn you. The ones who kiss you just because. And something about it just feels like the right kiss.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who ask you if you’re okay and wait to hear your answer. Who reach for your hand in the middle of the night and will kiss your forehead when they wake up. The ones who don’t mind what you look like at your worst. But still push you to be your best. The ones who bring you to things to meet their friends and make you feel a part of it.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who say things like: “Get home safely.” “Be careful.” “Have fun tonight.” “‘I’m proud of you.” “How was your day?”

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who know when to apologize and how to make it right. The ones who stand by you when you’re being difficult. The ones who hold you when you’re worried, and fix the problem at hand like it wasn’t that big of a deal.

The ones who laugh with you over silly things and don’t make silences awkward.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who show up when it matters. Someone you can count on.

The ones you nap next to, and it was like the best sleep of your life.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who know how to love someone right. The ones who make you better. The ones who make you happier. The ones who make you heal from the past they don’t ask about, until you’re ready to talk about it.

Believe good guys still exist.

The ones who make you feel like you are the most beautiful girl in the world. Because they never stop saying “you’re pretty,” even in moments you don’t believe it.

Believe good guys still exist.

And when you find a guy like this, never stop valuing and appreciating him. Because it wasn’t too long ago, you can recall thinking back to a time where you wonder if someone like him existed.


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To The Guy…

I think we fall into certain kinds of love without meaning to. Without any promise of a future or longevity. Without really knowing if it’ll hurt you or help you. Without really knowing the long-term impact another person both in our life and in our heart might have on us.

But I think there are certain people forever have a piece of our heart no matter who we love and who we end up with.

To the guy who will always have a piece of my heart,

I want to thank you first for teaching me what love actually meant, even though it wasn’t us at the end of this like we might have each expected or hoped for a long time ago. I want to thank you for giving me someone to believe in. I want to thank you for letting me into your life, the parts that weren’t so easy all the time. I want to thank you for trusting me with your secrets, letting me feel through the pain you endured, knowing very well, I could never fully understand. But you let me into your heart regardless.

I was never going to stop loving you. Even in moments that brought me to my knees, I understood it wasn’t all your fault.

When I think back to you and us and everything we’ve been through, I still see the boy I first fell in love with at the early age of 17 or 18. The boy who needed to be loved even though he pushed it and everyone away. I wasn’t going to leave you. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t be another story that ended badly for you. Another woman who let you down. Another love that hurt. So I loved you with everything I could even in the moment’s, people including you, told me not to. The truth is, I’m very stubborn when it comes to matters of the heart. I knew once the heart decided that was it.

And for so long I picked you.

We put each other through hell and back sometimes. We fought. But when push came to shove, we never stopped fighting for each other. We never gave up. Even in the moments where one of us would walk away, the other always made sure we were close by.

Even in the times it felt like distance made us grow apart, the saying was true, we just grew fonder. We became the calls that were always answered when we needed someone. The company and silence that wasn’t awkward when we needed to be alone, but didn’t actually want to be. Someone who got it.

That’s the thing about people you have a history with, you learn every curve and sharp edge so much that you don’t just learn about the person, but you become more like them taking bits and pieces of who they are with you.

You begin to know them better than you know yourself. Their history becomes something you wrote together because you were on every page.

It’s hard to describe it sometimes what we had, what we continue to have, a relationship that’s hard for even me to put into words. Because it wasn’t some relationship with some title binding us, there was this bind without needing that at all.

I learned from you, you don’t have to be in a relationship to fall in love with someone, and the best love stories might not even be with the people you date.

It’s this unexplainable connection.

One’s ability to find your way to each other even when you get lost.

The understanding so deeply of someone and a bond that can only be explained with a lot of time and emotions and energy invested on both sides.

Maybe we didn’t end up together, but maybe not all soul mates do. Maybe it’s two people who just keep each other and continue to choose each other, and don’t say goodbye.

I’ve learned the best love stories don’t have an ending because real love does not fade or go away, it resides in your heart making you feel whole whether the person is there or not.

And that’s what you’ve given me. A love I’ll always be able to believe in.

For that, I’ll always be grateful.


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Welcoming 2019.

I’m walking into 2019 with a clear mind and heart. If you owe me, don’t worry about it, you’re welcome. If you’ve wronged me, it’s all good, lesson learned. If you’re angry with me, you won, I’ve let it go. If we aren’t speaking, it’s cool, I wish you well. If I’ve wronged you, I apologize, it wasn’t intentional. I am grateful for every experience that I have received. Life is too short for pent up anger, holding of grudges, and extra stress or pain. I WELCOME 2019!! Remember forgiving someone is for you, not the other person. So don’t block your blessing. Make 2019 a year of positivity and a season of forgiveness.