Why I Love My Job.

A coworker asked me the other day, why I am always so positive and optimistic even when it seems things at work are falling apart? It’s easy – I love my job. Because I love what I do I can see beyond a tough day or unexpected turn. Here are a few reasons why, in no particular order. I hope that some of these resonate with you:

1.The practice I work for genuinely cares about the patients who come to our office, and the staff who work hard to achieve great care and want the best experience for both. They are true to their values.

2. I love that I’m encouraged to try new things out and be innovative, and if it doesn’t work out I’m supported to learn lessons, dust myself off, and try again.

3. My boss acknowledges she is not the font of all knowledge; she values and respects my experience and the expertise I bring.

4. There is always something to laugh about every single day. Laughing is good for my soul and my psychological wellbeing.

5. It’s ok for me not to know everything, but boy am I learning so much so quickly.

6. The office is the kind of place where having a baby join us and makes everyone coo over him/her, lifting our spirits.

7. I love the people I work with. I work with some awesome, talented, funny, dedicated staff.

8. Every day is different challenging and exciting. No two days are the same

9. My opinion matters and so does everybody else’s, whatever level they are.

10. My job gives me the opportunity to have a positive impact on people’s lives and make a difference every day. I go home and I know I made a real difference.

11. I aspire to inspire people, and I am actually doing this.

12. I see people who come to our practice try to become the best versions of themselves. It is so rewarding to see this knowing that even if only indirectly, I have had a small part to play in that.

Ultimately, when I love my job, I invariably perform better. I not only love my job, but I am grateful, and thankful to have one.

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Holidays And Sobriety.

Can you believe that 2018 has almost come and gone already? This year went by with lightning speed, and we’re already starting the busy holiday season. What does this mean for sobriety? The holidays can bring up a lot for anyone, but especially those of us in recovery. The holidays might remind you of past trauma, family situations or dynamics, drinking trips, or other triggers that could make you think of drinking or using. There are also more parties, get-togethers, and gifts where alcohol may be involved. You already have the tools and skills to stay sober, you just want to keep in mind these 5 things to help you maintain sobriety during the holidays.

1. You are never alone.

You never have to be alone with your feelings. When we get sober, we sometimes think because we’re somewhat “cured,” now that we should keep our feelings in balance and not bother others with our problems. The issue is that nobody is ever “cured,” and addiction can have long-lasting effects. Just because we get sober doesn’t mean we automatically know how to balance our emotions and make the right decision in every situation. It’s important that you share your feelings with people you trust when you are feeling down, when you’re feeling out of balance, or when you’re thinking about drinking. You don’t have to suffer in silence. There are others who’ve been through exactly what you’ve been through, and they can help by listening and offering advice.

2. The holidays are just like any other day.

As humans, we always give special emphasis to holidays. It’s a time to hang out with family and friends, cook, eat, and give to the less fortunate. It’s a time when we engage in traditions. There are decorations, presents, and special events. We might receive work bonuses. We might travel. If we look at the big picture, however, the holidays are just like any other day of the year. We get up, we brush our teeth, we eat breakfast, we engage in our recovery routine, and we go to sleep at night. It may be helpful for you to remember that even though the holiday season can feel different, it’s just another part of a regular year. This helps me stay in perspective, especially with my sobriety. I still have to do the things I always do to stay sober, even during the holidays.

3. The past is the past.

As I mentioned, the holidays might bring you back to times during your drinking and using that aren’t the happiest memories. Maybe, you associate Halloween with binge drinking, or Christmas with mimosa. Maybe, you had an embarrassing experience one year during Thanksgiving dinner. It’s useful to remind yourself often that the past is the past. Although we can use past experiences and memories to illustrate exactly why we’re sober, it doesn’t do us any good to constantly relive the pain of our past. Sobriety is a great time to make new memories during the holidays. It’s a time to correct your behavior and do better. It’s also a time to be gentle with ourselves and realize we are not the things we did in our past. Enjoy this year’s holidays for what they are…new, sober experiences.

4. If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to participate.

This goes for any time in sobriety, but especially around the sobriety during the holidays. If there is a holiday party where people are drinking and/or using and it makes you feel comfortable, leave. If your heart isn’t into the work holiday get-together, don’t go. If there is a gift exchange among friends and all they do is drink and/or gift alcohol, don’t participate! In sobriety, we have choices, and it’s your choice to not participate in anything that might make you feel uncomfortable. This includes being around family members or friends who might trigger you in any way or encourage you to drink and/or use. Remember, the holidays aren’t a good reason to put yourself in any dangerous or uncomfortable position.

5. Sobriety during the holidays should be your priority.

All of these items should be reiterating one important fact: YOUR SOBRIETY SHOULD BE NUMBER ONE!! You might be thinking, well that’s selfish, but in sobriety you have to be. Your sobriety should come before everything, because if you’re not sober you can’t be the best version of yourself. You can’t be responsible, stay out of trouble, and make good decisions in your life without sobriety. The holidays can make us nostalgic. They can make us want to go back to our old life, and that poses a unique threat to sobriety. What we can do is stay aware of this, take actions to keep sobriety as our priority, and safeguard ourselves during the holiday season.

The holidays are quickly approaching, but there is no reason to be nervous or fearful. Treat the holiday season like you do any other day, stay active in your recovery and keep your sobriety toolbox close.

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You Are Better Than…

You see the best in everyone. The people others look past. The ones who are jaded and complicated. The ones you think you can fix. But it’s the people you think you can change who are the ones that hurt you the most. It’s those people who are going to take everything you give until you have nothing left to and then they walk away with it, and you’re the one that feels broken.

I want to say being the way you are, you’re going to only see good relationships. But you’re going to see a lot more bad ones before you see good ones.

You’re going to see people who mess with your head and you’re going to analyze it, thinking it’s something you are doing wrong. They are going to be the people who answer texts three days later. The ones who appear to care like it’s something they can switch on and off. It’s going to be the people who blow up your news feed then ignore you.

The ones who drop in and out of your life like they have a right to.

You’re going to see a lot of people who tell you what you want to hear because they have motives that are unkind. And they’re only thinking of one thing. You’re going to have a lot of physical relationships with people, but what’s going to lack is the emotional connection that just isn’t there. And that’s not something you can force.

And you’re going to keep trying and caring because that’s who you are. You don’t do casual or emotionless, because that’s not who you are. Even the wrong people are going to get the best of you.

Then when it comes to committing, a lot of them won’t. You’re going to analyze yourself and pick apart your flaws thinking you are to blame for someone’s inability to be what you need, while you try really hard to play the role of what someone wants.

There are going to be moments where you lose yourself pretending to be what they want you to be instead of being who you are.

I wish they didn’t make you feel like it’s a bad thing to care the way you do. But unfortunately, it’s generation that doesn’t hold true to your same values.

I’m going to ask you to not change that. Even when you come across people who look at you and think you’re crazy for some of the standards and some of the things you believe in. They are going to try to make you feel wrong when in reality it’s them.

They are going to try to force you to settle. And there are going to be moments where you do settle for less than you deserve. There are going to be a few toxic relationships where people aren’t nice. And I know it’s going to hurt a lot.

You’re going to do backflips for some people trying to be enough. You’re going to fall in love with people who don’t deserve that affection and effort. And a lot of them won’t reciprocate all you have to give, because it’s different. You’re different.

Everyone is used to being used and taken advantage of and watching someone give, expecting something in return. You being genuine, kind, and giving without needing anything in return is admirable. And I know it’s gonna hurt sometimes. And I know you’re going to cry yourself to sleep a lot. I know you’re going to pick yourself apart trying to be better.

But you have to realize you are better.

You are better than the guys who just use you for sex.

You are better than the guys who just use you emotionally.

You are better than the guys who lie to you and tell you what you want to hear making promises they’ll never keep.

You are better than the guys who can’t commit.

You are better than the texts that don’t get answered and the games they love to play.

You are better than the people who keep you waiting.

You are better than the people who leave.

You grow emotionally attached and think you need people, but it’s them who needs you and a lot of them won’t realize it until you walk away and it’s too late.

But I ask you not to change even when you’re hurting.

Because one day you’re going to meet someone who teaches you, you’re enough. One day you’re going to meet someone and everything you’ve done for others is going to come back to you. One day you’re going to cross paths with someone who makes you realize how great you are, and you’ll start to see yourself through his eyes. And you won’t look at your flaws or the things you wish you could change. Because to him, you’re going to be perfect.

You’re going to meet someone who doesn’t take you for granted or use you for sex, but teaches you what sex in a relationship should be. He’s gonna be someone who doesn’t keep you as some secret, but shows you off to everyone. He’s gonna be someone who meets you halfway. And when that happens, it’s going to feel a little weird at first, because I know you aren’t used to getting what you give, but that’s exactly what you deserve.

He’s going to be someone who answers your texts quickly and wants to see you as much as you want to see him. He’s not going to cancel on you or leave you standing somewhere alone as you put on a brave face, even though you are hurting.

Being the way you are you’re going to get hurt, but that’s part of it. One day you’re going to love again, and it’s going to be right, you’re going to be sure, and you’re going to wake up next to someone who makes you feel like you never were broken. Because he doesn’t treat you that way.

If I could tell me younger self and every other girl like me something about the relationships you engage in, until you find the right one, don’t try so hard. Don’t hurt yourself loving so deeply. Don’t think you have to do everything to make the relationship work. Don’t choose the wrong people. But then I realize those relationships needed to happen.

Those bad relationships that made me fall to my knees are going to be what teaches me to appreciate the right one. And for every bad relationship, and every night I cried myself to sleep, and how much it hurt, that’s how much better it’s gonna be.

I would say don’t change even if it hurts to be the way you are, because one day it’s not going to hurt anymore, and one day it’s all going to come back to you everything you invested in those people who didn’t deserve it.

And you’ll realize it was them who didn’t deserve you.

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