Narcissist.

When a narcissist tells you you’re hard to love, what they are really saying is, they are the one incapable of loving you the way you deserve.

When a narcissist tells you you’re remembering something in the past incorrectly, what they are really saying is, they don’t want to believe a truth that makes them look bad.

When a narcissist points out your flaws, realize they’d rather pick you apart, then realize they aren’t perfect either, and if they are focusing on you so they don’t have to focus on themselves.

When a narcissist emotionally abuses you and tries to take you down, realize the only reason they are doing that is out of envy and seeing something within you they wish they had. Even if they won’t admit it.

When a narcissist blames you for how they reacted saying something “if you didn’t do XYZ then they wouldn’t have yelled at you,” realize their inability to control their emotions isn’t your fault.

When a narcissist says something like “if I did it, it would have been better,” realize the reason they didn’t do it in the first place is that they could have easily made the same mistake or they are setting you up for failure.

When a narcissist makes you feel like the problem, realize there is never going to be pleasing them and your attempt to will always fall short. But it isn’t a reflection of you, but rather unrealistic expectations that they’ll keep raising even if you reach a certain point.

When a narcissist starts a fight, realize you’re never going to win it and it doesn’t make you weak to accept “defeat,” because with them it’s best to just nod your head and walk away. When you fight with them, they will get going and stop at nothing to take you down emotionally.

When a narcissist makes you feel like you’re too sensitive or don’t have tough enough skin when you address something you don’t like, don’t believe them because any normal person doesn’t try and hurt others or make them feel bad.

When a narcissist tries to make you feel crazy and turn the tables saying things like “I’m the bad guy,” realize their attempt at guilt is just another way to try to win and control you.

When a narcissist picks apart every flaw, realize ,there is something they are insecure about and it has nothing to do with you.

When a narcissist holds onto your mistakes then uses it against you, realize that someone in their past might have done the same thing.

When a narcissist does something kind then uses it as blackmail later, realize it’s all about control and the moment you start doing things for yourself and begin to show them you don’t need them, they will fear you leaving.

When a narcissist makes you feel a sense of guilt for formulating relationships with others understand what they are really fearing is someone treating you better and leaving. They thrive when it comes to controlling you so if they lose you, they lose that powerful feeling they have over you.

When a narcissist tries to control your reputation and make you look bad, what they are really struggling with is maybe you are a good person everyone will love and it’s them who brings out the worst in you. They don’t want to accept that.

When a narcissist tries to gossip with you and be negative or has negative habits they want to pass along to you, realize they just don’t want to feel guilty for their actions so if someone partakes with them in it, it won’t be as bad.

When a narcissist tries to provoke you or use your insecurities against you, realize they are going to do it in such a way they don’t look too bad. Then they’ll say something to counteract their previous insult. A comment sly enough to get to you but then they will back it up with, “I’m just looking out for your best interest.”

When a narcissist says they are just joking but says something to hurt you, understand jokes aren’t supposed to hurt.

When a narcissist does something that really crossed the line and they make promises of change only to go back to how they really are, realize they aren’t going to change.

When you are in a web a narcissist created, it’s going to feel like you can’t get out sometimes. That’s what they want you to think because as much as they try to convince you need them, it’s really the other way around they just won’t admit it.

But most of all when a narcissist tries to convince you you’re hard to love and you shouldn’t like yourself, realize just because they don’t like who they are doesn’t mean you have to follow that.

The best way to overcome a narcissist is by loving yourself fully and realizing how they treat you shouldn’t be the example you follow when treating yourself.

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Lessons I Learned About Relationships Without A Label.

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This Is How We End…

We end realizing sometimes the best things in our life aren’t meant to be forever.

We end realizing maybe there is something greater for us written in the future we fail to see right now because we are caught looking at the past.

We end with as much grace and poise as we can, even though that goodbye could be the very same one that brings us to our knees.

We end looking back not overcome with sadness, but a joy to have had something good for as long as we did.

We end with the memories and the lessons and everything we take with us as we continue on this path.

Knowing very well sometimes the best lessons isn’t knowledge gained, but what you learned from others.

Exchanging pieces of ourselves and forever impacting the other.

Because if we can walk away making someone better that’s the best thing we can do.

It’s understanding that sometimes great parts of the journey are the people along the way, and they are just signs pointing us to another destination.

Each one of them bringing with them something we needed. And if we are lucky, if we are really lucky, we teach them too.

Forming this connection that doesn’t fade even with the word goodbye that holds heavy within one’s heart.

We end bittersweet, grateful, even as we hold back tears as the words ‘thank you’ are a slight whisper.

We end because we have to. Because maybe we’ve learned enough where we are that it’s time to move on. Even we don’t feel ready.

We end with a little bit of pain in our hearts because that goes to show us just how much we valued what is now feels lost.

But, lost does not mean forgotten.

Because the connections we make bind us to one another no matter the circumstances.

The way I see it, endings are a lot like beginnings.

We end just as we started a little scared, a bit nervous, certainly unsure of the road ahead, but we continue on holding more onto faith than doubt. Trust over uncertainty. Hope over skepticism.

We begin things knowing endings could be written in an unsure fate but we take the chance anyway. Because if we didn’t jump exactly when we needed, to then we wouldn’t realize our ability to fly.

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