90 Simple Mantras You Should Live By.

  1. Forgive people even when they aren’t sorry.
  2. Forgive yourself because you deserve peace of mind.
  3. If something scares, you that’s probably the choice you should make.
  4. If you think you’re settling, you probably are.
  5. Don’t like boys who ignore you.
  6.  Don’t give people relationship benefits if they don’t want a relationship.
  7.  Don’t think too much about someone blowing up your news feed.
  8. If you’re tired of being played, stop responding.
  9. Set a clear standard for the relationship you want.
  10.  If someone doesn’t meet your standards, realize what needs to change is the person, not your expectations.
  11. If someone makes you feel like you’re not good enough, it isn’t your job to prove you are.
  12. Learn to speak to yourself a little more kindly.
  13. Learn to talk about others a little nicer.
  14. Be kinder to others because you never know what someone is going through.
  15. Realize people are only mean when threatened.
  16. Realize not everything you think needs to come out of your mouth.
  17.  If it isn’t kind, don’t say it.
  18.  If it isn’t true, don’t share it.
  19. If something isn’t making you happy, stop doing it.
  20. If you don’t want to go out, stay in and don’t feel bad about it.
  21. How someone depicts their life across social media isn’t always an accurate depiction of it.
  22. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
  23. When you feel defeated, learn to take a break, don’t quit.
  24. Realize not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay.
  25. Realize there are some people who watch your every move because they want you to fail.
  26. Use that as motivation.
  27. If someone rejects you, that doesn’t mean you should reject yourself.
  28. Pay close attention to how you feel around certain people.
  29. And if someone is toxic, keep them at arm’s length.
  30. If the relationship still hasn’t gone where you want it to, say goodbye.
  31. If you really want something, make a plan of how to get there.
  32. Set realistic goals for yourself.
  33. Realize success isn’t going to happen overnight.
  34. Realize when you’re giving someone too many chances.
  35. Realize when you might not be benefitting someone else’s life and let them go.
  36. Pay close attention to the red flags in your life.
  37. Do what makes you happy.
  38. Don’t try so hard to impress others or give them a reason to stay.
  39. Realize the people who are meant to be in your life aren’t going anywhere.
  40. Spend every day trying to improve even a little bit.
  41. Treat people better than they treat yourself.
  42. But also know when someone doesn’t deserve your effort and it’s time to walk away.
  43. Remember the little things people do for you.
  44. And when someone does something wrong, don’t forget the things they did right.
  45. Stop trying so hard to make everyone else happy if the choice you are making isn’t something you want.
  46. When an ex-comes back, don’t let them in so easily.
  47. Realize someone hurting you once is a mistake, but when they do it a second time, it’s a choice.
  48. Call your parents more and tell them you love them.
  49. When that moment comes and you realize how much they sacrificed for you say ‘thank you.’
  50. Realize what your areas of weakness are and work to improve there.
  51. Don’t go looking for a relationship if you haven’t figured out how to be alone.
  52. Stop comparing yourself to others.
  53. Only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.
  54. Stop ruining relationships because you’re afraid of getting hurt.
  55. Stop choosing the wrong people because you’re afraid to get it right.
  56. Stop saying you’re bad at relationships.
  57. And realize there’s a difference between not being good enough and right enough.
  58. Stop chasing people.
  59. And learn to stand still, letting things and people come to you.
  60. Realize the value of your time and your attention.
  61. Don’t waste someone else’s.
  62. If you’re unsure of how you feel about someone, let them go.
  63. Because you both deserve certainty.
  64. Learn to live in the moment.
  65. Stop being so attached to your phone.
  66. Focus more on the people who are there IRL.
  67. Stop clinging to pain because you’re used to it.
  68. Quit thinking he’s going to come back because you’re only hurting yourself.
  69. Stop holding on so tight to the memories you’re afraid you’ll forget.
  70. Understand there are some people you’ll love, but won’t be with.
  71. That realization shouldn’t haunt you.
  72. Don’t hold yourself back just because you’re scared.
  73. Learn to say these three phrases more. Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry.
  74. Learn how to listen.
  75. You aren’t always going to be right.
  76. Learn when to apologize.
  77. Realize when you’re in a bad mood and learn how to change it.
  78. Whatever energy you project out into the world, make sure it’s positive.
  79. Respect everything you’re feeling, even if it’s things you aren’t proud of.
  80. Learn to feel through some of your uglier emotions, then let them go.
  81. Be able to answer the question ‘what do I want?’
  82. Be able to answer the question ‘what will make me happy?’
  83. If you can’t answer those questions, you’ll never be satisfied with anything in your life.
  84. Realize when you’re holding onto someone you should be letting go of.
  85. Realize when the part you play in someone else’s life is over.
  86. And don’t stay there just because you might have a history.
  87. If there’s some big change you want to make in your life, go for it.
  88. If there’s somewhere you want to go, stop making up excuses or holding it off.
  89. Realize you’re in control of your life and no one else is.
  90. And if you aren’t proud of the life you’re leading, change it because you can.

* Because everything you have or don’t have in your life is a reflection of the choices you’ve made.

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I Hope You…

In 2019 I hope you don’t settle for someone who confuses you about the way he feels.

I hope you don’t fall for someone who leads you on.

I hope this is the year you let go of that person you might love and adore but you realize ‘he’s never going to give me what I need or want.’

I hope when you say goodbye you actually mean it and walk away without looking back.

I hope you don’t invest in emotions and energy into someone who plays games with you.

I hope in 2019 you aren’t sitting by your phone trying to decode things because he’s liking your last post, but ignoring your text. He’s opening your snapchats and looking at your story, but doesn’t respond

I hope in 2019 you find someone who answers your texts quickly.

I hope this is the year you stop going for that certain bad boy type who only hurts you in the end.

The ones your friends don’t like and you swear you see something good in them.

I hope this is the year you stop falling for people who like that fact you like them and that’s it.

I hope you find someone who takes you on “real” dates.

And opens your door and pulls out your chair and pays for things because he respects you.

I hope 2019 is the year you get flowers sent your office.

I hope this is the year you learn to heal and really move on.

Learning to let go of the ghosts of your past and the almost loves that haunt you.

I hope you choose to walk away from people who come back saying ‘sorry’ because the right person wouldn’t have made the mistake of hurting you, to begin with.

I hope you don’t fall for someone who keeps telling you all the things you want to hear, but doesn’t follow through with actions.

I hope you find a relationship that is something more than a casual relationship, and just about sex.

Not just one. Now just the other.

Not just someone using you because they are hurt.

I hope 2019 is the year you realize you deserve commitment and a real relationship.

I hope this is the year you ask for what you want unapologetically.

I hope in 2019 you find the strength to walk away when someone doesn’t meet your expectations.

I hope you learn that someone else not liking you is a reflection of them and it doesn’t mean you lack something.

I hope 2019 is the year you realize what you deserve and you don’t stop until you get it.

I hope this is the year you realize asking for things and not getting them doesn’t mean you need to change the question, but rather change the person you’re asking.

I hope you don’t get fooled by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And charming words from boys who don’t mean them.

I hope this is the year you find someone who likes you for you and what you have to offer.

I hope this is the year you stop giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I hope this is the year you stop accepting excuses and hold people accountable for their actions.

I hope this is the year you stop going so far out of your way for people who haven’t even proved they deserve it.

I hope you realize some people just aren’t worth the effort.

I hope you not only meet someone who meets you halfway, but goes above and beyond everything you expected.

I hope 2019 is the year you meet someone who continues to surprise you.

Someone who wants to make you happy.

Someone who will stop at nothing to ensure that.

I hope this is the year you meet someone you can bring around your friends and family without the fear of suddenly having to explain why he faded out or what happened because you don’t know.

I hope 201 is the year you find a love that stays.

A love that makes you realize you’d rather stay in then go out drinking and partying.

I hope 2019 is the year you don’t cringe wondering who your plus one will be.

I hope this is the year you meet someone who sees you in their future.

I hope 2019 is the year you can delete whatever dating app you have because you don’t need it anymore.

I hope 2019 is the year a new face fills your Snapchat stories.

And everyone who follows you can see how happy you really are.

I hope 2019 is your year of consistency and commitment.

Because you deserve someone who wants you and only you.

You deserve to remember what love feels like.

I hope 2019 is the year you find it.

Because I just want you to be happy, healed, and in a good relationship.

But you gotta want it enough for yourself that you learn to walk away from people who treat you badly.

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The Ugly Honest Truth.

The ugly honest truth is if he hasn’t committed yet, he probably never will.

The truth is when he says he doesn’t want a relationship, what he’s really saying is he doesn’t want one with you.

The ugly honest truth is if he says he’s not ready or the timing is not right, you’ll find yourself waiting a while for him as he makes up excuses.

The ugly honest truth is if you give him the benefits of a relationship before you have a relationship, it’s always going to stay casual.

The truth is just because you have a long history, it doesn’t mean there will be a future.

The ugly honest truth is if he really liked you, he’d want you to be with him and only him.

The truth is a label doesn’t scare him, what scares him is a label with you.

The ugly honest truth is when he says he’s busy, that’s his way of saying he doesn’t care enough to make you a priority.

The ugly honest truth is when you bring up meeting his friends or family and he dodges the question or tells you soon what he’s really saying is, he hasn’t told them about you.

The honest truth is when he says he doesn’t want to ruin something good or what you guys have already going, what he’s really saying is there are other girls in the picture.

The ugly honest truth is when he tells you he can’t be your plus one, what he’s really saying is he doesn’t want people to think you’re a thing.

The ugly honest truth when you guys run in constant circles, it isn’t a sign you are meant to be, it’s life’s way of trying to teach you a lesson you aren’t learning. Life will keep giving you the same pop quiz until you pass it.

The honest truth is every time he cancels, makes up excuses and says sorry for the way he’s acted, he’s not really sorry, he just knows he’s been an ass.

The ugly honest truth is every time you accept less than you deserve, you’re telling him ‘it’s okay to treat me this way.’

The honest truth is every time he tells you he’ll leave her for you, that’s never going to happen and you’ll always be some side chick.

The ugly honest truth is if he’ll cheat with you, he’ll have no problem cheating on you.

The ugly honest truth is if he says he’s one of the good ones, he probably isn’t. Good guys don’t have to say they are.

The ugly honest truth is when he says he doesn’t like games or drama, he’s probably going to create a lot of drama and fuck with your head.

The ugly honest truth when he bad mouths his exes and says they are crazy, he probably made them that way.

The honest truth is if it’s just a relationship based on texting and social media, it’ll never be something more than you emotionally boosting his ego every time you respond.

The ugly honest truth is if he’s texting you all the time, he’s probably texting a lot of other people too.

The ugly honest truth is if he’s blowing up your news feed, he’s probably doing it to a lot of other people.

The honest truth is if he doesn’t want pictures of you guys across social media, it’s probably because he doesn’t want someone to see it.

The ugly honest truth is if he’s uncertain about a lot of things in his life, he’ll never be sure of you or care to make you feel secure and safe.

The ugly honest truth is you are never going to get what you want and deserve from someone like him. Because he’s the sweet talker who says all the right things but at the end of the day, all of those words are really saying is ‘I’ll never choose you and I’ll let you continue to choose me for as long as you let this go on.’

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You Didn’t Deserve The Abuse You Endured.

Whether it was physical, emotional or mental abuse you didn’t deserve any of those things.

I don’t know why that happened to you. And I wish I could take it away. I wish I could go back in time and be there in those moments. Be strong when you couldn’t be. Be the voice when yours was silent. Be the arms that held you when the arms that should have raised a hand to you. Be the one taking each blow because I would never want to see you get hurt.

But I can’t take back what’s happened. I can’t say I understand what it felt like in those moments. I can’t own your experiences or say I get it entirely because I think even when people relate or have sympathy, your experiences are your own. How things impact and affect you isn’t within anyone else’s say or control.

The things that shaped you. The moments that turned you into exactly who you became. The horrible things that shouldn’t have happened but did…

I can tell you, you didn’t deserve what you endured.

But I see the pain behind a smile you mastered.

I still see a child in your eyes who still question all of it.

I see someone who is goal oriented and hard-working because you didn’t allow the things that had happened to you define you.

I still can’t explain any of it.

But what I do know is, you wouldn’t have turned out to be the person you are today had you not gone through some of the things you did. I wish it wasn’t pain that had to shape you into someone so beautiful. But sometimes that’s how it works. Sometimes the most beautiful people are the ones who have seen a lot of ugly things.

Beautiful people are those who know defeat, but come back winning.

Beautiful people are those who know pain and suffering and channel it into helping others.

Beautiful people are the ones who know loss, but realize with loss comes something to gain.

Beautiful people are those who know darkness so they come with a light.

Beautiful people are those who have a greater appreciation for things.

Beautiful people are those who have a greater understanding of things others can’t make sense of.

They are compassionate, gentle, emotional, and deep because of the things they’ve seen and experienced that others haven’t.

I know there are things you can’t speak of and secrets you keep as you lay down at night. Baggage from your past that grows heavy at times.

A judgment of others who don’t understand nor do they deserve to.

You don’t want their sympathy. You don’t want to have to explain. And you shouldn’t have to.

You saw things you shouldn’t have. You experienced things that weren’t fair. You learned at a young age, lessons that adults learn later on.

With tough experiences, came wisdom beyond your years.

With abuse, came empathy for others.

With silence, came understanding.

With those others who judged you harshly, came your own lack of judgment to everyone.

Without love that you deserved, came an unconditional love for others.

Through pain, came a strength of someone who overcame all of it.

There is no way to take back what has happened or help you to suddenly forget it.

But what I can say is, I’m proud of you.

I’m proud of the person you’ve become.

And someone else’s lack of love doesn’t mean there aren’t 100 other people who adore you and think you are one of the best things in their life. Because you are. And if no one has said it lately, I love everything about you even the bad parts of the things you experienced that you never should have endured in the first place.

And while the love of another could never substitute the love you might have been missing, my only hope is I can run my fingers over the scars of your past and show you there is beauty even in the darkest places of yourself.

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Don’t Set Resolutions Looking For A Big Change In 2019.

Everyone talks about change in the New Year like you have to. Like a new year on the calendar marks a time where you are suddenly going to wake up and choose to be a different person. So you set goals, you have expectations and hopes. You hold onto hope that this will be the year you change or something in your life will.

Join a gym. Lose weight. Eat healthier. Stop drinking. Stop smoking. Be in a relationship. Get over your ex. Save money. Try a new hobby or join some group. Travel more.

You write down resolutions (some you won’t achieve.) Then you feel slightly defeated when you don’t amount to it or a month goes by and suddenly it’s February and you haven’t seen the results you wanted or the outcome you were hoping for.

When you focus too much on where you want to go rather than where you are, you’ll never get there.

We think we have to suddenly make a giant change in our life just because it’s a new year. But change isn’t about one big step it’s about the little ones that lead us to somewhere better.

Babies can’t run before they learn to walk so why would you tackle your resolutions or goals any differently?

A new year doesn’t mean suddenly waking up and being a new you, it means making the choice to want to take the proper steps towards the person you want to become.

Just because the calendar changed, doesn’t mean suddenly you are going to.

You’re going to wake up on January 1st and it’s going to feel like any other day of the week. The only difference is the pressure you put on yourself to be somewhere by a certain time.

Change doesn’t happen overnight. And there isn’t going to be some ah-ha moment where it’s clear you’ve done it. But when enough times passes, one day you are going to look back and realize where you were maybe six months ago, maybe a year ago and then you’ll either see you’ve made progress or you’re in the same place.

Achieving anything occurs when you alter the choices you make right now.

Little things added together turn into something greater.

Don’t wait for Monday or a new month or a new year. Start now.

If it’s losing weight or eating healthier, pay close attention to what you put into your body.

If it’s going to the gym, hold yourself accountable when you want to skip a workout.

Don’t say I’ll just go tomorrow or I’ll eat healthier for my next meal. Think of right now in this moment. Because these moments matter.

If your goal is to save money, ask yourself as you’re about to buy something, ‘do I need this right now?’

The little things matter and every choice we make reflects the outcome of what we get. If you aren’t happy with the outcome, think of what led to that.

When I run a half or a full marathon a lot of people ask me, ‘how do you do it?’ or they say something like I could never. When I’m running, I never think about how far I have to go or the finish line. I think of this step right now, this mile, this movement. And eventually, I get there…every time.

You don’t need to enter this new year coming out of the gates running full speed with hopes of some big change everyone can see. Sometimes all it takes are little steps that will get there more effectively. Sometimes change and improvement aren’t measured in benchmarks that others can see. Sometimes the greatest measurement of change is that moment you look at yourself in the mirror and you’re proud of who you’ve become.

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She’s The Type…

She’s the type who will give you more chances than you probably deserve because when shown the bad parts of you, she chooses to see the good.

She’s the type who will forgive your lies and believe your excuses because she understands things come up and sometimes plans don’t go accordingly.

She’s the type who won’t be mad you canceled, she’ll just be disappointed she couldn’t see you and spend time with you.

She’s the type who will accept your apologies even in the times you don’t say you’re sorry, because she believes in the person you can be.

She’s the type who will never stop trying because she believes some people are worth the effort.

She’s the type you can rely on, the one who will always be there even though you haven’t shown her that same respect and commitment.

She’s the type who will be there even when she’s busy because she doesn’t like letting people down.

She’s the type who will answer your texts quickly even when you don’t because she doesn’t believe in playing games.

She’s the type you know you can have if you want her, but something about that is too easy.

She’s the type who will give without expecting something in return.

She’s the type that even if you’re mean, she won’t respond with anything but silence.

She’s the type who will give you her undivided attention even if you haven’t earned it.

She’s the type that’ll love you unconditionally regardless of how you feel. Because she cares about building people up and not using them to build herself up.

She’s the type who will love really hard and get hurt for it.

She’s the type who will live with her heart on her sleeve and it’ll leave her insecure.

She’s the type who will look at her reflection analyzing flaws thinking there’s something wrong with her, and not those people who fail to see her value.

She’s the type who will say exactly how she feels and not apologize for it.

She’s the type who lives by the rule ‘treat people the way you want to be treated.’

Even though there are some people who could use a taste of their own medicine. She’ll never be the one to give someone what they might deserve.

And in return, she gets used, taken advantage of, judged very harshly, and treated unkindly even though she never deserved it.

Despite being given every reason to change, she won’t.

Despite everything, she’ll still believe in people.

She’ll stay exactly who she is.

She’ll continue to act exactly as she does.

She’ll continue to get hurt, not changing.

But what changes, is every person she interacts with.

Because the girl who doesn’t change is the one who changes everyone around her through her example of kindness, compassion, unconditional love, and understanding.

She’ll walk away after trying harder than she should have in the first place.

She’s the type whose heart will break giving up on you, but even she knows there’s only so much someone can do.

She’ll be the type you’ll hurt when you’re young and you’ll live to regret it when you’re older.

And you’ll think back knowing you hurt someone who chose to never do the same, when you probably deserved it.

Then when you finally muster the courage to apologize, she’ll forgive you so easily, welcoming you with open arms and a smile like the time, distance and mistakes were just a thing in the past.

There will be in a single moment of watching her out of the corner of your eye, you realize she’s the one who deserved better this whole time.

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How You’ll Miss Him Once It Ends.

You’ll miss him in little moments that’ll catch you by surprise. Moments where you think you’re fine and you’ve moved and things are okay. Suddenly it’ll hit you and it’s going to feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Because you realize loving someone doesn’t just go away because they did.

And it’s not gonna be at 3 in the morning when you’re lying there alone in bed. It’s going to be at 3 in the afternoon, on an average Tuesday, when you’re laughing with your friends or family and suddenly you just stop.

It’ll be in the sweatshirt that falls from your closet you forget about and never gave back. It’ll be when Christmas comes around and you’re sitting on your couch looking at the tree and you think back to how much has changed in a year when he was right there with you. It’ll be in the song you hear on the radio that hurts, but you don’t change the station. It’ll be on the roads you used to drive and you look over at an empty passenger seat thinking about when he used to be there.

You’ll miss him in the places you used to go together and now you sit there alone. Hurting and aching silently, only you look like you’re okay. Because you have to be. It’ll be in the coffee shop you used to go to often and the barista asks if you want your usual two coffees. So you stop going there.

You’ll miss him in the moments people don’t know it ended and they ask how he’s doing or where is he and you realize you lost the right to know that answer a long time ago.

You’ll miss him in the letter you held onto or the card you couldn’t throw away, and you’ll reread words that take you back to a time when they were real. It’ll be in the pictures you find face down in your junk drawer that you know you should have thrown away, but you didn’t.

You’ll miss him when something good or bad happens and you look at your phone staring at the date of the last time you spoke, and something about that little detail hurts like hell.

You’ll miss him when you hear someone say his name in public and your head will turn sharply thinking it’s him and your heart will race.

But you’ll miss him the moment you see him again and you make awkward eye contact. He looks the same, but you realize you’re staring at a familiar stranger. Maybe small talk is exchanged and what isn’t being said between the words, ‘how are you?’ is ‘I miss you.’ ‘Do you ever think of me too?’ So instead you say ‘fine.’

And you look back one last time hoping maybe he’s watching too. Because maybe if he was even for a moment, you’d be taken back to a time when love didn’t hurt so badly.

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