Find Someone Who…

The foundation to every good relationship is one based on the fact the two of you are friends as well as someone you might fall in love with later.

When you start dating someone, they become your best friend. The number one person you confide in. The person you spend the most time with. Your number one support system. And the person you trust most in this world. Those things have nothing to do with sex and the physical aspects that come with a relationship.

You don’t just start building a life with someone because they are attractive and good in bed, those are bonuses.

Yeah, physical attraction and desire need to be there first and foremost, but people don’t stay together just for that reason alone. You stay together because of who you are. You stay together because of how you complement each other. You stay together because you’re better together than you are alone.

Find someone who is going to make you a better person.

And I don’t just mean happier. Someone who is going to influence you to become the best version of yourself. Someone who is going to support you and your ideas and your goals and ambitions when no one else does. Someone who is going to believe in you and your ability like they believe in themselves.

Find someone who is going to make the best teammate.

The best cheerleader. The person who turns ideas into reality, because together nothing stops you. Find someone who wants to learn from you. Who values your opinion. Someone who listens even when you’re speaking in a whisper.

Find someone who understands your silence.

Someone who understands the words you use and what you actually mean sometimes when you say them. Find someone who watches you so closely they can tell when something is wrong. Even if it’s just through a text message or a simple weird nervous habit.

Find someone you don’t get tired of.

Someone you could spend days with and you’d still miss them the second you part ways. Find someone who influences you and you notice it in little parts, from the things you newly like and want to learn about, to the phrases you say. There are moments you’ll catch yourself picking up on little phrases or how you say certain words and evident their influence is there.

Find someone who forgives you for your mistakes.

When you mess up and they are angry and you aren’t just mad at yourself for making a mistake, you hate yourself for hurting or disappointing them. And when you think they are going to walk away and maybe they have every reason to, they turn around and bring you in and tell you it’s okay. They still love you. From there, they help you to learn from your mistakes.

Find someone who doesn’t give up on you.

Even when you give up on yourself, even when you push everyone else away. Even when you aren’t a version of yourself you’re proud of, find the person who stays. The person who says, “I don’t care what you say or do I’m not going anywhere.”

Find the person who makes you believe in people again.

Because maybe you were a loner, maybe you feared letting anyone close, so you push them away. But when you find someone who breaks through every part of who you are, when all you tried to do was guard yourself and your heart, don’t let those people go. The ones who understand how scary it is to be vulnerable but they lead by example showing you, they are the ones you could trust.

Find someone who is a straight shooter.

They aren’t afraid to tell you exactly how they feel. They aren’t afraid to tell you, “I love you, you fucked up, but you’re still the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Someone who throws these emotions at you but it’s not overwhelming, it makes you feel more whole than you ever did before.

Find someone who is going to make you better.

The person who motivates you to want to be the best version of yourself. Find someone who is a work in progress and help them to improve. Help them to see their potential. Help them to achieve things they didn’t think they could. But with your love and encouragement, they get there. And when they become a better version of themselves and suddenly everyone sees them, be the one who saw it first.

Find someone who wants to build something great with you.

Your life. Your love. Your career. Your goals. Your future. Someone who is willing to invest in all aspects that are you. Someone who will work as hard as you will to achieve these things.

Success doesn’t happen because of a single person believing in themselves. It takes another person believing in them, motivating them, pushing them to achieve more. When you get everything you’ve ever wanted in life, it’ll be nice to grab the hand of the person who was there from the beginning remembering and looking back in moments of failure when they were the ones who reminded you get up and try again.

Find someone who is going to challenge you. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically.

Emotionally: that person who is going to learn you in ways you don’t even know yourself. Mentally: they get you to see things differently. They are telling you to read things you’ve never read or watch things, or do things you’ve never done before. Physically: they push you past your comfort zone and suddenly you’re just trying to keep up.

Find someone who is going to stay.

Someone who sees you at your worst and ugliest and hardest time ever and still loves you. Someone who stands with you in moments of confusion. Someone who helps you to figure it out. Someone who cares first about your happiness and will do anything to help you achieve it.

Finds someone who learns with you.

Through trial and error no matter how many times you might fail or change parts of your life, they are right there next to you reminding you how special you are. Find someone who builds you up in such a way your head almost gets big. And they aren’t trying to flatter you, they believe in you. They believe in you more than anyone.

Find someone who is different.

That person who keeps you up at night. That person who tells you these crazy ideas and before you can even think about whether it’s a good idea or not, you’re already following their lead. Because there’s just something about them that’s unlike anyone else you’ve ever met.

Find someone who loves you unconditionally.

Because we are in a generation where everyone can be replaced with a single swipe. Where everyone is looking for the next best thing and no is never satisfied. Wait for the person who realizes you are the best thing that’s ever happened to them and there isn’t doing better than you.

Find someone who is never going to quit you.

At the end of the day, that’s what it comes down to.

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18 Little Reminders After A Relationship Ends And You’re Hurting.

1. There’s someone better for you.

I know you don’t want to hear it or believe it. But the person that’s better for you is one who isn’t going to make the mistake of hurting you and leaving.

2. It probably ended before, “it’s over.”

Sometimes breakups blind you. But in my experience, most of the time we see it coming, we just choose to believe something different.

3. You deserve better.

When someone leaves or ends the relationship, for some reason our brains are wired to suddenly build them up even more like we were the ones who lost something. But in reality, they broke the heart of someone who would never do the same.

4. Pain means you at least tried something.

I know you hate how much it hurts right now, but the risk is always worth it. To say you truly loved someone, a lot of people settle and don’t find that. Value what you did have even if you don’t have it anymore.

5. Don’t let this pain dictate your future relationships.

I know how hard it is to even consider trusting and opening up to someone. But know not everyone is going to hurt you. If you go into relationships expecting the worst, that’s when it plays out. As much as you might be hurting, don’t allow this heartbreak to expect the worst of people and push good ones away.

6. Change for you. Not them.

After a breakup, we always want to change. We always want to improve. We always want to make that person regret what they’ve done. Get yourself to a point both mentally, emotionally and physically where you are so far past them, even if they came back you wouldn’t want them.

7. Delete them on social media.

I know that’s a big step to take and you’ll tell me, “we ended on good terms,” or “that’s dramatic,” but if you are checking their profile every time you log in. If you are looking at pictures of each other and mourning the past, you are prolonging healing and continuing to pour salt on an open wound. And let me tell you what hurts more than anything, isn’t pushing unfriend or unfollow, but logging in and seeing they did it first.

8. Rock bottom is an awesome place to build from.

When you’ve fallen to your knees crying and you can’t sleep. When everything seems to be going wrong in your life. When you don’t know where you can even muster the strength to get through another day, that’s when you discover how strong you are and where you want to go from there.

You don’t think you will never love someone again the way you did them. And the truth is, you won’t. Every person and every relationship is different. If you love someone the same way, then you haven’t learned. But the next person you love, you’ll learn to love even better.

10. Even if you were dumped there’s something you can learn.

Don’t just look at it like that person is the most awful human you know. For a relationship to work, it takes both people doing something right and when it ends, it’s both people doing something wrong. Recognize the mistakes you might have made and things you could improve on and work to better yourself for the next relationship.

11. Understand the pain is love.

Before you lose your shit and say hurtful things to them out of anger, understand that while you might appear angry all anger is is masked pain disguising itself as something else.

12. Heartbreak teaches you who you don’t want to be.

Everyone has been there. They’ve turned into versions of themselves they are embarrassed of. Whether it’s drinking to get over someone and saying and doing crazy things to desperate acts trying to win them back. You look back and you realize this person made you a version of yourself you don’t like and that’s okay.

13. It teaches you who your friends are.

When you’ve completely fallen apart, that’s when your real friends step up to the plate to be what you need. And they see you at your worst. Your most vulnerable. The saddest and worst shape you’ve ever been, and they stay. At least you have someone who does.

14. It teaches you what you need and want in your next partner.

You might have loved them through every flaw they had. But when a relationship ends, you can look back and only after the fact you can say, I didn’t like when they did this. I need a partner more like this. Every relationship is a learning experience for something better.

15. Don’t look at it like you did something wrong.

It’s never just one person’s fault, but rather both people. It takes two people to have a successful relationship. So regardless of who ended it, it’s their fault too.

16. Take the time to learn to fall back in love with yourself.

Sometimes when you are in a relationship, you lose yourself to it. Especially when you’re with someone you value a little more than yourself. Someone you love more than yourself. That’s when relationships fail, when you look at this person as someone to admire too much, not as your equal. Remember what it’s like to love yourself. Take the time to rebuild that relationship. When things end, it’s easy to point out your flaws and say, “they left because of this,(fill in an insecurity)” but don’t pick yourself apart. This is the time to do the opposite.

17. Become their biggest regret.

People come back around when they realize how much happier you are without them. And I’m not saying try to make them jealous by dating someone so fast. I’m saying, become a version of yourself they can’t even touch. When you build yourself up and you reestablish the relationship you have with yourself, that’s when you attract someone even better. That’s when you heal.

18. Date again when you’re ready, not lonely.

It is no ones job to fill the void someone left you with or heal you. It is their job to love you and treat you well. But to get there, you can’t just jump right back into dating when you are hurt because when you date someone when you’re still heartbroken, even if they could be your soul mate, you won’t offer them what they deserve because all you have is bits of pieces of your heart that hasn’t healed. Regardless of how great the next person might be at first, one is always the rebound. Give yourself time to heal. You don’t need a relationship, what you need to do is establish one with yourself first.

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40 Questions To Ask Yourself To Figure Out If They Might Be The One.

1. Do they make you happy more times than they make you mad?

2. Are there parts of them you’d want to hide from your friends and family?

3. Do you have the same values?

4. If your kids were a little like them would you be happy about that?

5. Are you trying to change them?

6. Do they meet you halfway?

7. Have they always been honest with you?

8. Do they make you a better version of yourself?

9. What moment did you realize they might be the one?

10. Have they changed your life for the better?

11. Do they respect you and your goals?

12. Do they believe in you?

13. Do they support you in everything you do?

14. Would you trust them with your life?

15. Are they reliable?

16. Do your parents like them?

17. Do your friends like them?

18. Do they have toxic habits that could impact your future?

19. Have you talked about the future?

20. What religion if any would you raise your kids?

21. If your ex-came back right now would you still choose them?

22. If you went on a long trip together right now would you still be together at the end of it?

23. Have they seen you at your worst?

24. Have they told you everything about their past?

25. Do they know you better than they know themselves?

26. Have they told you their biggest regret or mistake?

27. Are they willing to compromise for you?

28. Have you taken the time to learn all of their favorite things?

29. What’s something in your future you’d look forward to most?

30. Do their future goals align with yours and can you make it work?

31. What is the biggest obstacle you’ve overcome so far?

32. What are the things you don’t like about them and can you live with it?

33. What do you like most about them?

34. What’s something they do you look up to?

35. If you could be more like them in one way what would it be?

36. If something happened to them tomorrow what would you regret not having said?

37. If they had to move somewhere tomorrow would you go with them?

38. Could you go a day without talking to them?

39. Do you truly believe they are the best person you’ve ever met?

40. Can you even imagine your life without them?

* Did you even have to go through these questions really to know?

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21 Things You Need To Quit Right Now.

1. Quit the job you hate.

You aren’t doing anyone any favors staying somewhere that you aren’t naturally excelling. You’ll realize it’s the right job and you’ve found your purpose when it doesn’t feel like work anymore.

2. Quit the people who aren’t making you better.

Sometimes you have to realize the only thing you have in common with someone in the past. If someone isn’t pushing you forward or making you better, the relationship isn’t one you need to invest time and energy into.

3. Quit other people’s expectations.

People are going to ask a lot of you throughout your whole life and if you become one of those people who never let them down, they are going to keep asking more of you. But you have to realize when it’s too much. When you are investing more into what other’s want of you than what you want of yourself, you have to stop.

4. Quit being afraid of the things you want.

If there’s something or someone you can’t stop thinking about, go for it. You can spend as much time coming up with excuses of why you shouldn’t do something or you can channel that same energy into why you deserve everything you’ve ever wanted.

5. Quit saying yes when you really mean no.

Don’t just say yes to things because people ask you, say yes to the things you want.

6. Quit holding the past so tightly.

The past isn’t there for you to hold over your own head and make you feel bad for yourself. The past is there to teach you and show you the person you aren’t anymore. No matter how long you mourn the past, it won’t change what happened.

7. Quit hating yourself.

You deserve to love yourself the way you love others. In fact, you deserve to love yourself more than that. If there are parts of yourself you don’t like, be able to recognize is it something you really don’t like or is it something someone told you not to like.

8. Quit your almost relationship.

9. Quit your relationship that’s already over.

When something ends, let it go. Don’t water a dead flower.

10. Quit trying to make everyone but yourself happy.

Putting other people’s happiness before yourself will always leave you with this void. Because when everyone else leaves, all you have is yourself and you have to realize how important that relationship is.

11. Quit lying to yourself about what you want.

If you really want something that badly, go get it. No one is going to hand it to you, and all the luck in the world won’t make it happen for you.

12. Quit that place that doesn’t make you happy.

If you are in a place that doesn’t make you happy, leave. You are not obligated to stay somewhere if it’s not where you want to be. You have the ability to go and do anything you want but when you feed yourself excuses of why you can’t, you are choosing to not be happy.

13. Quit allowing fear control you.

There’s comfort in what you know. But until you push yourself past your comfort zone, you’ll forever just be content and not fully happy. If something scares you, that might be exactly what you need in your life.

14. Quit living the life someone else wants you to.

Parent’s add pressure to the life we live. Society adds pressure to where you are supposed to be and when you should achieve if you let go of what everyone else’s want of you and focus on what you want for yourself, that’s the first step in getting it.

15. Quit adding unnecessary pressure and stress to your life.

When you add a level of competition of you vs. them, you are taking yourself out of the game because the only person you should be competing with is yourself.

16. Quit thinking I’ll be happy when…

When you get this new apartment. When you get this new job. When you end up dating someone. Associating happiness with getting things will never make you happy when you finally do get them, because you’ll continue to have that mindset of the next best thing. Learning to be happy with what you have when you have it will teach you to appreciate what you do get.

17. Quit running from love.

Everyone is afraid of getting hurt. But the risk is always worth the reward.

18. Quit admiring the person you used to be and be proud of who you are.

Stop looking back at old pictures thinking you wish you looked the way you used to or you wish you were the person you used to be. Be proud of who you are and be proud of what made you that way.

19. Quit being angry.

Anger doesn’t hurt the one you’re mad at, it only hurts you. Learning to forgive someone even they aren’t sorry will make you realize you are in control of both your emotions and your happiness.

20. Quit settling.

Remember what you deserve and don’t lower that. Whether it’s a career or a person or a way of life. Don’t settle for the type of life you don’t want to lead.

21. Quit holding yourself back.

You are the problem as well as the solution. You have the ability to change every part of your life, if you find the courage to do it.

They saying quitting is for someone who is weak but it takes strength to quit the right things in your life.

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EASTER SALE AT MY LALA!!!

Hello My Lala Family!
We hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend!
If you look around the site today you will see a large release of July 4th Independence Day Designs!
Also new Maxi Skirts and a few new tops and joggers up!
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(Please make sure they click APPLY after entering the discount code to see the discounted price reflected in your purchase before final check out)

Maybe.

Maybe the only reason she expected so much of you is because she would have done the same.

Maybe she expected you to follow through because she never would have canceled on you and come up with an excuse.

Maybe she expected a text back immediately because she’s answered you every time, no questions asked. To a point, you got a little too used to her.

Maybe she expected you to be there because every time you asked her, she was already on her way.

Maybe she expected this to be something because you led her to believe you might have felt the same way. Because you didn’t take the time to tell her you didn’t.

Maybe she opened up to you and gave you her heart and told you exactly how she felt because you made her feel like that was okay.

Maybe she relied on you as much as she did because you told her she could trust you. You opened up to her and let her in just as close.

Maybe she didn’t date anyone else because she really thought she had a shot with you.

Maybe she tried so hard because she thought it was her that needed to prove she deserved you. She didn’t realize it was your flaw in not realizing her value.

Maybe she made herself look like an idiot because she really did care about you  and she just didn’t know how to say that or properly show it.

Maybe she tried a little too hard to make you happy because of how happy you made her, even in the moments you disappointed her and let her down.

Maybe she said too much sometimes, but she was brave enough to admit it.

Maybe she thought she could change how you felt, so she changed everything about herself and tried to be the person you wanted her to be.

Maybe she knew you were bound to hurt her, but something about you made her feel safe. Something about you made her feel like even if the odds were stacked against her, maybe you’d come out of it with a win. Like you were something to be won over.

Maybe she pulled away and grew distant wondering if you’d notice, but at the same time she just needed to be alone to heal.

Maybe she came back only to realize she’s always going to care even when you don’t.

Maybe she thought you were different, what she didn’t expect was, someone exactly the same.

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